Question 3

THANKING YOU IS NEVER ADEQUATE AT THAT MOMENT. AND YET WE SLIP BACK. HOW CAN WE TAKE OFF? HOW CAN I TAKE THE HELP OF THE WOMAN OUTSIDE TO BE UNITED WITH THE WOMAN INSIDE?

Slipping back is natural. The past is so big and the present moment is so small. The pull of the past is so great, and this awareness is just like a new leaf coming out of the tree -- fresh, young, delicate, vulnerable. And the past is like a great Himalaya -- rocks and rocks and rocks. This small leaf and this great Himalaya of rocks... This leaf had to fight this Himalaya of a past of thousands of lives lived mechanically, lived unconsciously. But still this small leaf will prove stronger than the whole Himalaya of rocks and rocks and rocks. Why? Because this leaf is alive... alive with love, aflame with love. This leaf is the leaf of awareness. It is going to win.

But many times you will feel that you have slipped -- that's natural. Don't be worried about it, don't feel guilty about it. Whenever you remember, again start growing. Always keep the new leaf in your consciousness. Pour your whole consciousness into this new insight that is growing in you. In the beginning, these moments are bound to be far and few between. But even if, once in a while, this moment comes when love is no more and has become prayer, you are in a Tantra moment. Don't be worried about the dark nights: there is no need to worry. Move from day to day. Remember the day to day.

Nights will be there -- sometimes very long nights -- think about those nights just as tunnels of darkness. At one end is light, at the other end is light; between is the tunnel of darkness. And that too is good, because it prepares your eyes to see the light more clearly. It gives rest, it relaxes. Don't think in terms of one night to another night and the day just in-between, no. Even those moments are very few and far between -- and very small moments -- but they are precious jewels... shining. Just think of those moments. One moment happened today, and one moment may happen after one year. Don't be worried about the one year -- that is irrelevant. From this moment to that moment let your eyes be focused: this whole year is just a tunnel from one day to another day, from one light to another light, from one love moment to another love moment, from one awareness to another awareness. Soon the slipping will be less, and soon the slipping will disappear. But there is no need to feel guilty, no need to feel repentant about it. It is natural, accept it.