ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL
|2005 AND 2006|
THE MUSTARD SEED: My Most Loved Gospel on Jesus
Chapter 10: Just Enjoy Yourself
THE TENTH SAYING
JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Everybody is already mounted on two horses, everybody is stretching two bows -- not only two but many. That's how anguish is created, that's why you are constantly in anxiety. Anxiety shows that somehow you are mounted on two horses. How can you be at ease? Impossible, because the two horses are moving in two directions, and you cannot move anywhere.
With one horse movement is possible, you can reach somewhere. With two horses movement is impossible, they will negate each other and you will not reach anywhere. And this is the anxiety -- that you are not reaching anywhere. Deep down this is the anguish: that life is slipping out of your hands, time is becoming less and less, death is coming near and you are not reaching anywhere. It is as if you have become a stagnant pool, just getting dryer and dryer and dying. There is no goal, no fulfillment. But why is it happening? -- because you have been trying to do the impossible.
Try to understand the mind as it functions in you, then you will be able to understand what Jesus means. You want to be as free as a poor man because only a poor man can be free -- he has no burden, he has nothing to protect, you cannot rob him. He is unafraid. You cannot snatch anything from him because he has nothing; with nothing, he is at ease; with nothing as his possession, nothing can be stolen from him. Nobody is his enemy because he is not a competitor at all, he is not competing with anybody.
You want to be as free as a poor man, as a beggar, but you also want to be as secure as a rich man, as safe as an emperor. The rich man is safe, the rich man is secure, he feels more rooted. Outwardly, he has made all the arrangements, he is not vulnerable: he has protections against death, you cannot murder him so easily, he has an armor. And you would like to be free like the beggar and to be secure like an emperor -- then you are mounted on two horses and it is impossible to reach anywhere.
You love a person, but you want the person to behave like a thing, completely in your hands. But you cannot love a thing, because a thing is dead and cannot respond to you. So if the other is really a person he cannot be possessed, he is like mercury: the more you try to keep him in your fist, the more he goes out -- because to be a person means to be free. If he is a person, you cannot possess him; if you can possess him, he is no longer a person and you will not be able to love him. Then he is just a dead thing. Who can love a dead thing?
You are mounted on two horses. You want a person like a thing, which is impossible! A person has to be free and alive, and only then can you love him. But then you feel difficult, you start possessing, and then you start killing him; you are poisoning. If he allows you this poisoning, sooner or later he will be just a thing. So wives become decorative pieces in the houses, husbands become just watchmen -- but love disappears. And this is happening in all directions.
There is doubt in you because doubt has its benefits: it gives you more calculating power, it gives you more protection, nobody can deceive you easily. So you doubt -- but then doubt creates anxiety because deep down you are uneasy. Doubt is just like illness. Unless you have trust you cannot be at ease, because doubt means wavering and wavering is uneasy. Doubt means, "What to do -- this or that?" Doubt means, "To be or not to be?" -- and it is impossible to decide.
Not even on a single point is decision possible through doubt. At the most, you can decide with the part of the mind which becomes the majority. But the minority is there, and it is not a small minority. And because you have chosen against the minority, the minority will always be looking for the situation when it can say you have chosen wrongly. The minority is there to rebel; it is a constant turmoil within you.
With doubt there is uneasiness. It is an illness, it is just like any illness -- it is a mental illness. So a man who doubts becomes more and more ill. But you cannot deceive him easily because he is more cunning, he is more clever in the ways of the world. You cannot deceive him, but he is ill. So there is a benefit -- he cannot be deceived -- but there is a loss, a great loss. The benefit is at a very great cost: he remains wavering, uneasy, he cannot decide. Even if he decides, that decision is just the major portion deciding against the minor. He is divided, there is always conflict.
Trust you also want. You also want to be in faith, because faith gives you health; there is no indecisiveness, you are completely certain. Certainty gives you a happiness: there is no wavering, you are unwavering; you are whole, not divided -- and wholeness is health. Trust gives you health, but then you become vulnerable, anybody can deceive you. If you trust you are in danger, because there are people all around who would like to exploit you, and they can exploit you only when you trust. If you doubt, they cannot exploit.
So you are mounted on two horses, doubt and faith -- but you are doing the impossible. You will remain constantly in anxiety and anguish, you will deteriorate. In this conflict of the two horses you will die. Some day or other there is going to be an accident -- that accident will be your death: you will be finished before you have reached anywhere; you will be finished before the flowers come; you will be finished before you come to know what life is, what it means to be. The being will have disappeared.
JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES....
But every man is trying to do the impossible, that is why every man is in trouble. And I say to you: this is in every direction. So there are not only two horses, there are millions of horses altogether, and every moment you are living a contradiction. Why does it happen? The mechanism has to be understood, only then can you drop it. Why does it happen? The way every child is brought up is the cause. The way every child enters into this world of mad people all around is the cause. They create contradictions, they teach you contradictory things.
For example, you have been taught: Love the whole of humanity, be brotherly to each and everyone, love thy neighbor as thyself. And simultaneously you have been educated, brought up, conditioned, to compete, to compete with everyone. When you compete, the other is the enemy, not the friend. He has to be defeated, he has to be conquered; really, he has to be destroyed. And you have to be ruthless, otherwise the other will destroy you. If you are a competitor, then the whole society is the enemy, nobody is a neighbor, nobody is a brother. And you cannot love -- you have to hate, you have to be jealous, you have to be angry. You have to be continuously ready to fight and win, and it is a hard struggle -- if you are tender-hearted you are lost.
So be strong and violent and aggressive. Before the other attacks, you attack him. Before it is too late, you attack and win; otherwise you will be lost because millions are competing for the same thing, you are not alone. And how can a mind which is in competition be in love with its neighbor? It is impossible! But both teachings have been given to you: you have been taught that honesty is the best policy, and also that business is business! Both things together, both horses have been given to you together. And a child, unaware of the ways of the world, cannot see and feel the contradiction.
To feel the contradiction a very mature intelligence is needed; a Jesus, a Buddha is needed to feel the contradiction. A child is unaware of the ways of the world, and the teachers -- the father, the mother, the family -- are persons he loves. He loves them -- how can he think that they are creating contradictions in him? He cannot even imagine it because they are his benefactors: they are kind to him, they are bringing him up. They are his source of energy, life, everything. So why should they create contradictions? A father loves, a mother loves, but the problem is that they were also brought up in the same wrong way and they don't know what to do except to repeat. Whatsoever their parents taught them, they are teaching their children. They are simply transferring a disease; from one generation to another the disease is being transferred. You may call it the 'treasure', the 'tradition', but it is a disease. It is a disease because no one becomes healthy through it.
The whole society goes more and more neurotic. And a child is so simple, so innocent, that he can be conditioned into contradictory ways. By the time he realizes the contradiction it is too late. And it happens that almost your whole life is lost, and you never realize that you are mounted on two horses. Think about this contradiction and find it, try to find it in your life. You will find millions of contradictions there -- you are a confusion, a mess, a chaos.
When people come to me and they ask for silence, I look at them and I feel very much, because it is almost impossible -- silence can exist only when all the contradictions have been dropped. It needs arduous effort, very penetrating intelligence, understanding, maturity. Nothing is there, and you think that just by repeating a mantra you will become silent? If it were so easy, then everybody would have become silent. You think just by repeating "Ram, Ram," you will become silent? Riding on millions of horses, repeating the mantra, you will become silent? That mantra will be still one more horse, that's all -- more confusion will come out of it. If one more horse is added, you will be more confused through it.
Look at the so-called religious man: he is more confused than the worldly because new horses have been added. The man who lives in the market, the world of the market, is less confused because he may have many horses, but at least they all belong to this world; at least one thing is the same, similar -- they all belong to this world. And this religious man, he has so many horses: those which belong to this world and some new horses he has added which don't belong to this world. He has created a greater rift: the other world, God, the kingdom of God, and he continues to move in this world. He becomes more confused, more conflict arises in his being. He is rent apart, he is not together; every fragment is falling apart, all his togetherness is gone -- this is what neurosis is.
The way you are brought up is wrong, but nothing can be done now because you have already been brought up, you cannot move back. So you have to understand it and drop it through understanding. If you drop it because I say so, then you will add more horses. If you drop it through understanding -- because you understand the whole thing and hence it is dropped -- then no more horses will be added. On the contrary, old horses will be released to their freedom, so they can move and reach their goals... and you can move and reach your own goal.
For not only are you in difficulty, your horses are also in very great difficulty because of you; they cannot reach anywhere either. Have pity on yourself and on your horses, both. But this should be done through understanding -- your understanding, not my teaching or Jesus' or Buddha's. They can show the path, but if you follow without understanding you will never reach the goal.
Now try to understand.
JESUS SAID: IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Why is it impossible, and what is impossibility? An impossibility is not something which is very difficult, no. Howsoever difficult a thing may be it is not impossible, you can achieve it. By impossibility is meant something which cannot be achieved whatsoever you do; there is no way, no possibility to do it. When Jesus says impossible he means impossible, he doesn't mean very difficult -- and you are trying to do the impossible. What will happen? It cannot be done, but you will be undone through it. It cannot be done, but what will happen to you who have been making an effort to do the impossible? You will fall apart. It is not possible to do it, but doing it, you are undoing your own life. This will happen, this has happened.
Look at people who doubt. Have you seen a man who has doubt and who does not have faith? If you see a man who only has doubt you will see he cannot live, it is impossible to live. Go to the madhouses: there you will find people who have doubts about everything. Then they cannot even move, because they doubt even a simple action.
I knew a man who was so full of doubt that he could not go to the market -- and the market was just a few yards away. He would come back again and again to check the lock. And when we were children we used to play tricks on that poor man. He would be going out and we would ask him, "Have you checked the lock?" He would be angry but he would go back to check it. And he was alone, there was nobody else -- and so afraid! He would be taking his bath in the river and somebody would say, "Have you checked the lock?" He would be very angry, but half way through his bath, immediately he would come out and run to the house to check. This is the perfect skeptic. If doubt goes too far you will enter into a madhouse, because then you doubt everything. This is one type of man who is completely broken into fragments.
If you choose faith against this, you will become absolutely blind. Then anybody can take you anywhere, then you have no intelligence of your own, no alertness of your own. Around Hitlers you will find this type of person -- they have trusted and through trust they have lost.
Because of this you are trying the impossible: to make a compromise, not to go to this extreme, because there neurosis comes; not to go to the other extreme, because there blindness happens. Then what to do? Then simple reasoning says, "Just compromise both, half and half -- a little doubt, a little faith." But then you mount on two horses. Is it not possible to live without doubt and without faith?
It is possible! In fact, that is the only possible way to grow: to live without doubt and without faith; just to live simply, spontaneously, with awareness. And this is really what trust is -- not trusting somebody else. This is trusting life: wheresoever it leads, without doubt, without faith, you simply move, you move innocently.
A man who doubts cannot move innocently. Before he moves he will think, and sometimes he will think so much that the opportunity is lost. That's why thinkers never do much. They cannot act, they become simply cerebral, because before action they must decide, they must come to a conclusion; and they cannot come to a conclusion, so how can they act? Then it is better not to act, and wait. But life will not wait for you.
Or you become faithful, believing, a blind man. Then anybody, any politician, any madman, any pope, any priest can lead you anywhere. They themselves are blind, and when the blind lead the blind there is bound to be catastrophe. What to do? Reasoning says, ordinary reasoning says, "Make a compromise."
One scientist, B.F.Skinner, did an experiment worth remembering. A white mouse was the object of experiment. The white mouse was starved for two or three days so it was very hungry; really, it was just hunger, ready to jump and eat anything available. Then it was put on a platform. Just below the platform there were two similar boxes, the same color, same size, and both boxes contained food. The white mouse could jump in either the right box or the left.
The mouse immediately jumped, not even a single moment of thought. But whenever he jumped into the right box, he would get an electric shock. And there was a trapdoor, so he would fall inside another box through the trapdoor and would not be able to reach the food. Whenever he jumped into the left box, there was no shock and there was no trapdoor, so he would reach the food. Within two or three days he learned the trick: he would jump in the left box and avoid the right.
Then Skinner made a change, he changed the places of the boxes. The mouse jumped into the left box and found that there was an electric shock. Now it was disturbed, confused as to what to do and what not to do. So before jumping it would tremble and waver, doubtful. This is how a philosopher is -- a white mouse, trembling, doubtful what to do: left or right, and how to choose? And who knows...? But then it got accustomed again. Then Skinner again made a change. The mouse became so confused that although it was hungry it would wait, trembling, looking at this box and that -- and how to decide? Then he decided the thing you have decided: he jumped between the two boxes -- but there was no food, this was not going to help. And after a few weeks of experiment, the white mouse became mad, neurotic.
This is what is happening to you: you have become confused -- what to do, what not to do? And the only thing that comes to the mind is that if it is difficult to choose this, difficult to choose that, then it is better to make a compromise, just jump in the middle. But there is no food. Of course, there is no electric shock, but there is no food either.
You miss life if you jump in the middle. If it were possible for the white mouse to mount both boxes, he would have done that. These are the two possibilities which open for reasoning: mount both horses or just jump in the middle. Intelligence, a very penetrating and keen intelligence, is needed to understand the problem -- there is no other solution. I am not going to give you any solution, no Jesus has given any solution to anybody; just the understanding of the problem is the solution. You understand the problem and the problem disappears.
Is it not possible to live without faith and without doubt, not making a compromise? ... Because the compromise is going to be a poison: they are such contraries that your whole life will become a contradiction, and if contradiction is there you will be divided, split; schizophrenia will be the final result. Or, if you choose one and deny the other, then the benefits that were possible from the other are denied you. Doubt gives you protection against exploitation, faith gives you certainty -- drop one and the benefit of it is also dropped. If you choose both you mount on two horses; if you make a compromise you create a division within your being -- you are two, you become a crowd. Then what to do?
Just understand the problem and get down from both horses -- don't make any compromise. Then a totally different sort of being, a totally different quality to your consciousness happens. But why are you not doing that? -- because that quality needs alertness, that quality needs awareness. Then you need not doubt anybody, you simply have to be fully alert. Your alertness will be the protection against exploitation.
If a fully alert man looks at you, you cannot deceive him; his very look will disarm you. And if he allows exploitation, it is not because you are cunning and cheating him, but because he is kind and allows you. You cannot cheat a fully alert man. It is impossible because he looks through you, you are transparent; he has such consciousness that you are transparent. If he allows you to cheat him it is because of his compassion. You cannot cheat him.
This consciousness seems to be difficult; that's why you have chosen the impossible. But the impossible is impossible -- you only make believe that it can happen; it has never happened, it will never happen. You have chosen the impossible because it looks easier. Compromise always looks easier -- whenever you are in difficulty you compromise. But compromise never helps anybody, because compromise means two contraries will exist within you; they will always be in tension and they will divide you. And a divided man can never be happy.
This is what Jesus means, but Christians have misunderstood him. Christians have completely missed Jesus, because the mind goes on interpreting. What have they interpreted? They think Jesus is saying, "Choose one horse! Either this world or that -- choose one! Don't mount two horses, because you will be in difficulty and it is impossible. So choose one horse." That's what they have come to conclude and interpret.
I have heard it happened: One night Mulla Nasruddin's wife was feeling hungry, so she went in search of a midnight snack. But she couldn't find anything, just a dog biscuit. So tentatively she tasted it, found it good, it tasted good, so she ate it. And she liked it so much that in the morning she told Nasruddin to get a big supply.
Nasruddin went and purchased a lot of dog biscuits. The local grocer said, "What are you doing?... because I know your dog is very small, you don't need such a large supply."
Nasruddin said, "It is not for the dog, it is for my wife."
The grocer said, "I must remind you that these biscuits are strictly for dogs, and if your wife eats them she will die -- they are poisonous." And after six months the wife died.
One day Nasruddin admitted to the grocer, "My wife is dead."
The grocer said, "I told you before that those biscuits would kill your wife."
Nasruddin said, "Those biscuits didn't kill her; it was chasing behind the cars that killed her, not the biscuits!"
Your mind sticks to its own conclusions, because if one conclusion is lost, your confidence is lost. So whatsoever the situation you stick to your conclusions. That gives you ground for your ego and your mind to stand on.
One day, Mulla Nasruddin was walking with a very big stick which was too long for him. One friend suggested, "Nasruddin, why don't you cut a few inches off from the bottom?"
Nasruddin said, "That would not help -- because it is this end that is long."
Your reasoning can be suicidal. It is! You think it is reasoning, but it is not reasoning, it is just deceiving -- deceiving yourself. But you don't want to lose ground, you want to be confident; and all confidence that comes through mind is false, because mind cannot give you confidence. It can only give you false things, it can only supply you with false things. It has not got the real thing with it, it is just a shadow. Mind is just thoughts, shadows, nothing substantial in it. But it can go on playing rationalizations, and you will feel good.
Christians miss the whole point. They think Jesus is saying, "Choose!" Jesus can never say, "Choose!" -- Jesus means choicelessness. ... Because if you choose, the choosing mind is strengthened, not destroyed; the mind which is choosing becomes stronger through the choice. No, it is not a question of choice. And through choice you can never be total, because you have to deny something.
If you choose faith you will have to deny doubt. Where will this doubt go? It is not something outward that you can throw, it is deep in you. Where will it go? You can simply close your eyes, that's all; you can simply repress it in the unconscious, that's all. But it is there, like a worm, eating your consciousness. It will be there, and someday or other it will come to the surface. What can you do? How can you drop it? If you choose doubt, where will your faith go? It is part of you. So compromise will happen: you will become an amalgam of many things somehow put together; not a synthesis but a compromise.
Jesus means quite the contrary. He means, "Don't choose."
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND STRETCH TWO BOWS; AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
Look at the last phrase: ... OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER. If you choose one, you honor the one and offend the other -- and the offended part of you will take revenge, it will become rebellious.
It happens -- science depends on doubt, totally on doubt, no trust is allowed. So have you known, have you observed scientists? Out of their lab they are very faithful; you cannot find more trusting people than scientists, more easily cheated than anybody else, because their doubt part functions in the lab and their trust part functions outside. They are simple people as far as the outside world is concerned, but in their lab they are very cunning and clever.
You can cheat a scientist very easily. It is not so easy to cheat so-called religious men. In the temple they are in deep trust, outside the temple they are very cunning. Look at the so-called religious people: outside the temple you cannot cheat them, there is no possibility to cheat or exploit them; but inside the temple they are very simple. They use their trust part there, their doubt part in the world. They are good businessmen, they accumulate wealth -- they exploit the whole world.
A scientist can never be a good businessman, he cannot be a good politician. That is not possible, because the doubt part is finished in the laboratory; outside, the trust part functions. A scientist at home is totally different from a scientist in his scientific research work. You may have heard many stories about their absent-mindedness. They happen, really happen, they are not stories. Because he uses his attention in the lab, then outside the lab he becomes inattentive -- he has used one part, it is finished. So he has a double life: in the lab he is very mindful, outside the lab he becomes absent-minded.
There is a story about Albert Einstein: he was visiting a friend and they took their dinner, they gossiped about this and that. There was not much said because Einstein was not a man of gossip, and he was not very talkative either. So the friend started feeling bored. And it became darker and darker, until it was eleven o'clock at night, and now he wanted Einstein to leave. But it was impolite to say so to such a great man, so he waited and waited. Sometimes he even gave hints, he said, "The night is very dark," and, "It seems it is now about eleven-thirty." But Einstein would just look and yawn -- he wanted to sleep. Then it was almost twelve and the friend said, "I think you are feeling sleepy, because you are yawning." That was the final hint.
Einstein said, "Yes, I am feeling very sleepy, but I am waiting for when you go, then I can go to sleep."
The man said, "What are you saying? You are at my home!"
Einstein stood up and said, "Sorry! I was continuously thinking, 'When will this man go, so I can go to sleep?'"
In the lab, this man is perfect as far as attention is concerned, presence is concerned. But that part is used up there; outside the lab he is a totally different man, just the opposite.
That's why it happens that you find a contradiction in the life of so-called religious people, it is natural. See them praying in the temples, and look at their faces! They look so innocent, their eyes filled with such deep emotion, tears flowing down. You cannot imagine the same man outside, how he will look, how he will be at his shop, how he will behave when you go to the shop. The emotional part, the trusting part, is finished in the temple, in the mosque, in the church; when he comes out he is free of that part. Then he is as doubting as any scientist can be, as skeptical as possible.
This is how we live a double life, this is a compromise. Jesus is not saying, "Choose one against the other." If you choose one against the other, the other part will be offended, and the offended part of your being will take revenge. And it makes it very difficult, it makes life almost impossible to live. The more you try to live with one part, the more the other part disturbs all your planning, all your scheming; it comes up again and again. Then what to do?
The way, the thing to be done, is not to choose. The thing is to understand the whole contradiction of your being. Not choosing, but becoming choiceless; not dropping one against the other -- because you cannot drop one aspect of a thing.
You have a rupee coin, it has two aspects. You cannot drop one aspect, you cannot drop one side of it. You may not like the other side, but you have to carry both; if you want to carry one you have to carry two, then the whole rupee will be with you. The only thing that you can manage is that you can hide the aspect you don't like, and the aspect you like you can put on the surface, that's all. That's how the conscious and the unconscious are created.
The conscious is that part, that horse that you like, and the unconscious is that horse, that part that you don't like. The conscious is that which you have chosen, the unconscious is that against which you have chosen. These are the two churches -- the one you go to and the one you don't go to. Otherwise, in a man like Buddha, the conscious and the unconscious both disappear, because he has not chosen for, he has not chosen against. The whole coin drops. And only the whole coin can drop, half can never be dropped.
Doubt and trust are two aspects of the same coin, just like cold and hot; they look like contraries but they belong together. They are polarities in one whole, just like negative and positive electricity, just like man and woman. They look like opposites, but they are polarities of one phenomenon. You cannot drop negative electricity without dropping positive electricity, you cannot retain one and drop the other. If you do that, your being will be divided: the dropped, the repressed, the denied part will become the unconscious; the accepted, the welcomed part will become the conscious. And then there will be a continuous struggle between the conscious and the unconscious.
But you are still mounted on two horses. The only way is to drop the whole thing, and the secret is not in dropping -- because dropping can also become a choice. This is the most complex and subtle thing: you can drop, and choose dropping against not dropping -- then again there are two horses. No, this is to be done through understanding. Dropping is not the thing, understanding is the thing.
Understand the whole madness: what you have done to yourself, what you have allowed to happen to yourself, what type of contradictions you have been accumulating -- just see through the whole thing. Don't be for and against, don't condemn, don't judge -- just look through the whole thing that you are. Don't hide, don't offend, don't judge: "This is good and that is bad." Don't evaluate. Don't be a judge but just an onlooker, detached, a witness. Just see the whole thing that you are, whatsoever you are; whatsoever mess you are in, just see it as it is.
Suddenly, an understanding arises which becomes the dropping. It is just as if you have been trying to enter a wall, and suddenly you become aware that this is a wall and there is no door. Do you need to drop the effort now? You simply move! That movement is simple, it is not for and against -- you simply understand that this is absolutely useless, impossible. That is the meaning of Jesus: you simply look; it is impossible, you move. There is no choice on the part of the mind, you don't make any effort.
Whenever there is understanding, it is effortless. And whenever something is effortless it is beautiful because it is whole. Whenever there is effort there is ugliness, because it is always the part, never the whole. Effort means deep down you are fighting against something. But why are you fighting? -- because that which you are fighting still retains meaning for you. The enemy also has meaning, just like the friend -- the opposite meaning, but he carries meaning. And have you ever thought that whenever your enemy dies, something in you dies immediately? You not only suffer from the death of your friends, you also suffer from the death of your enemies -- you cannot remain the same.
In India it happened: Mohammed Ali Jinnah and Mahatma Gandhi were constant fighters against each other. Then Gandhi was murdered, and Jinnah is reported to have said, "I feel very sad. Something in me has died." Who can Jinnah fight against now? Against whom can he be the fighter? Against whom can he accept the challenge? The ego drops if the enemy is not there. You are constituted of your friends and of your enemies -- you are a contradiction.
Only he is whole who has no enemies and no friends, who has not chosen, who has no leanings for this or for that; who simply moves moment to moment with a choiceless awareness, and whatsoever life brings, he allows. He floats, he is not swimming; he is not a fighter, he is in a letgo. If you can understand this, then you will be able to understand the meaning of Jesus:
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A MAN TO MOUNT TWO HORSES AND TO STRETCH TWO BOWS, AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SERVANT TO SERVE TWO MASTERS, OTHERWISE HE WILL HONOR THE ONE AND OFFEND THE OTHER.
The ordinary meaning will be, "Choose one master, don't choose two." But through choice you will never be whole, so it is not a question of choosing one master against another, because you will still remain a slave, you cannot be free. Only choicelessness can give you freedom. Then you don't choose, you simply drop the whole effort -- it drops by itself when you understand. Then you are the master.
In India, we have been calling sannyasins, swami. Swami means, master of oneself, it means one who has dropped choosing, it means now he accepts no master. And this is not an egoistic understanding, this is a deep understanding that if you choose between contraries you are a victim, if you choose between the contraries you will remain divided in the contraries. A sannyasin is not against this world and for that one, a sannyasin is simply neither for nor against -- he simply moves without friends and without enemies.
There is a beautiful Zen story. One sannyasin was standing on a hilltop alone in the morning. Just like the hill he was alone, standing unmoving, and three persons passed by who had come for a morning walk. They looked at this man and they had different opinions as to what he was doing. One man said, "I know that monk. Sometimes his cow is lost, so he must be standing there and looking around the hill for the cow."
The second said, "But by the way he is standing, he is not looking at all. He is not moving at all, his eyes seem to be almost fixed. That is not the way that a man looks for something. I think he must have come for a morning walk with some friend and the friend has got left behind -- he is waiting for the friend to come."
The third said, "That doesn't seem to be the reason, because whenever somebody waits, sometimes he looks behind to see whether the friend has arrived or not. But he never moves, he never looks behind. He is not waiting, that is not the posture of a waiting man. I think he is in prayer or meditating."
They were so divided and they became so excited about the explanations as to what he was doing, that they thought it was better to go and ask the man himself. It was hard to go up the hill, but they went. They reached the man and the first asked, "Are you looking for your cow?... because I know sometimes it is lost and you have to look for it."
The man opened his eyes and said, "I don't possess anything, so nothing can be lost. I am not looking for any cow or anything." Then he closed his eyes.
The second man said, "Then I must be right -- you are waiting for a friend who is left behind."
The man opened his eyes and said, "I have no enemies and no friends, so how can I wait for anybody? I am alone -- I have not left anybody behind, because there is nobody. I am alone, totally alone."
Then the third said, "Then I must be absolutely right because there is no other possibility. I hope you are praying, meditating."
The man laughed and he said, "You are the most foolish because I don't know anybody to whom I can pray and I don't have any object to achieve, so how can I meditate?"
Then all three simultaneously asked, "Then what are you doing?"
The man said, "I am just standing, I am not doing anything at all."
But this is what meditation is, and this is what sannyas is: just being. Then you have a freedom -- freedom from friends, enemies; freedom from possession, nonpossession; freedom from this world and that; freedom from matter and mind -- freedom from all choices and divisions. Then the impossible is dropped and you become natural, you become Tao, then you float.
When the impossible effort is gone, anxiety disappears, then you are no longer in anguish. And when you are no longer in anguish, bliss arises. Bliss is not something to be achieved. You only have to create the capacity. When you are not in anguish, bliss happens. You have created the capacity, you have opened the door and the sunrays enter and fill you. As you are, anxiety-ridden, divided, mounted on two horses, trying to stretch two bows together, you are schizophrenic, you are ill, you are wavering. Or, at the most, you have made a compromise and you have become normally neurotic.
A normal being somehow carries on his work; the neurosis does not come in the way, that's all -- an adjusted citizen, that's all. But it is not worthwhile. Even if you are an adjusted citizen, a good citizen, a normal human being, no ecstasy will happen to you. You will remain sad, and whatsoever you achieve in this world will give you more sadness. Look at the people who have succeeded, who are ahead of you, who have reached the top, and you will see they are more sad than people who are not so successful -- because their hope is lost.
One morning, Mulla Nasruddin was walking towards the market very sad. And a friend asked, "What has happened?"
Nasruddin said, "Don't ask me! I am so sad and so depressed that I could cry."
But the friend insisted, "But what is the matter? We have never seen you so sad. You have been in so many difficulties, financial and otherwise, but we have never seen you so sad and depressed. What is the matter? What has happened?"
Mulla Nasruddin said, "Two weeks ago, one of my uncles died and he left one hundred thousand rupees for me."
The friend said, "Nasruddin, have you gone mad? If your uncle has left one hundred thousand rupees for you, you should be happy not sad."
Nasruddin said, "Yes, that's so -- but last week, my other uncle died and he has left two hundred thousand rupees for me."
The man said, "Then you are completely out of your mind -- you should dance and rejoice and celebrate, because there is no reason to be unhappy! You are the happiest man in this town!"
Nasruddin said, "That I know -- but I have no more uncles. That makes me sad."
That's what happens when a man succeeds: when you have no more uncles, then suddenly, no hope. A man who is a failure still hopes, can hope; there are still uncles, the possibility exists. The more success, the more anxiety, because the success will bring your neurosis up, the success will reveal to you your schizophrenia. That's why in America there is more schizophrenia, more madness than in any other country, because America has succeeded in many ways.
In a poor country there is not so much madness. People can still hope. And when you can hope, nothing comes up -- you go on running and running. When the goal is achieved, then you stand still and you have to look at yourself and at what a mess you have created in your being, what chaos. You suddenly go out of your mind. You have always been out of your mind, but it is revealed when you succeed, because when there is no more to dream about, you have to encounter yourself. As you are, bliss is not possible, happiness is impossible. You can only hope for it and tolerate the pain, the suffering that you have brought upon yourself.
But bliss is possible; it has happened to a Jesus, to a Buddha, it can happen to you -- but then you have to leave the impossible aside. Think of the natural, the possible, the easy. Don't think of the impossible, the difficult, the challenging. The ego always likes to do the impossible, but it is a failure, it has to be a failure. But the ego likes to take the challenge of the impossible, because then you feel you are something. Against an impossible goal you become a great fighter.
And religion is simple, easy, natural -- it is not riding on a horse at all. It is just a morning walk not going anywhere. Just walking is the end; not doing anything in particular, just enjoying the morning breeze, the sun, the birds -- just enjoying yourself.
Enough for today.