Christianity, Jesus Christ, Vol. 4 Come Follow Yourself Chapter 6: Happiness is that which Happens, Question 3

The third question:

Question 3

IT SEEMS THAT NOTHING EVER REALLY DROPS AWAY. SUDDENLY IT IS GONE, BUT JUST AS SUDDENLY IT IS BACK AGAIN. IT ALL SEEMS LIKE A MAGIC TRICK.

... A very meaningful question, with tremendous implications for understanding. Let us move into it very slowly.

Yes, this is so: nothing ever really drops away. Nothing ever really drops away; suddenly it is gone, and as suddenly as it left, in the same way, at any moment, suddenly it is back again. Why is it so? -- because you have never tried to understand the nature of human consciousness. The nature of human consciousness is absolute freedom. When I say absolute freedom, I mean you are free at any moment to be whatsoever you decide. Nothing holds itself against you. You may have been a saint up to now. You may have lived in celibacy up to now. This very moment you can change: you can throw away your celibacy i you can fall in love with a woman or a man. Because you have been celibate in the past does not, CANNOT become a bondage. You remain free. If you want to be celibate in this moment also, you can be. But remember that it is not because of the past, it is again a fresh decision. You have to go on making your decision again and again and again, reviving it again and again and again. At any moment you can drop it.

Existentialists are true. They say: existence precedes essence. It is a very pregnant sentence. Let me repeat it: existence precedes essence.

A man is born; he is pure freedom. He has no essence, only existence. Then he will choose his essence, whom he is going to be -- and it will be his choice. He can be a saint, he can be a sinner; he can be a criminal, he can be a murderer, or he can ke a martyr. He brings pure existence into the world -- a blank sheet, a pure canvas. What colors he is going to use, and what sort of painting he is going to make of his life, is totally up to him. He does not bring a character. He simply brings a potentiality, pure potentiality. And this pure potentiality always remains pure; you cannot corrupt it. You become a saint: that means you decide that to be a saint is going to be your essence. But this is your decision, and if you want to keep it up to the very end of your life, every morning, in fact, every minute of your existence, you will have to decide again and again and vote for it. Any moment you stop deciding, any moment you say,'Enough is enough, now I want to change,' nobody is barring the path. You can cancel your whole past in a single moment, because that past was your decision, nobody else's. It is not like a destiny forced from above, from outside. It is your own inner decision. You can change it.

That's why nothing ever disappears. You can become a sinner, but tomorrow you may again change. You can again take the vow of a Catholic priest and become a priest again, become celibate. Try to understand this.. This has tremendous implications for your life.

Don't throw the responsibility on anybody else. Nobody else is a deciding factor, neither your mother nor your father. Whatsoever the psychoanalysts say is really irrelevant to your being. It is for you to decide. Even the people who are mad are mad because of their own decision. Somehow they found it to be convenient. Somehow they decided; they voted for it. Nobody has forced them. Nobody can force anybody because the innermost quality of being is freedom. It is not something accidental; it is your very nature.

You have been smoking up to now. For thirty years you may have been a chain smoker and you come to me and you ask,'What to do? How to stop?' You are asking a wrong question. In fact, you don't want to stop. Go deep into your own mind: you don't want to stop; you are playing a game. You don't want to stop but you want to;show people that you want to stop. Or, this very idea that you want to stop gives you a very, very good image about yourself. Then you go on saying,'What can I do? It has become such a long habit; I cannot stop, though I want to stop.' This is simple, sheer foolishness and stupidity. You are not deceiving anybody except yourself. If you really want to Stop, there is no need to do anything about it. The very decision that you want to stop is enough: the half-smoked cigarette in your hand will drop of its own accord. But you remain free. That does not mean that again tomorrow you cannot take it up. You remain free; nobody can bind you. Again tomorrow you can take it up. Then please, don't start saying that it is because of old habit:'I tried my best, and I had stopped, and for twenty-four hours I didn't smoke. But because of a thirty-year-old habit, I am again taking it up. The urge is too much.'

Do not try to befool anybody. There is nothing like that; you are again deciding. If you are deciding, then it is okay. You can find a thousand and one ways to decide again. But remember always, it is your decision, yours and nobody else's; and you remain free. That's why it happens that nothing seems to disappear forever. It comes again and again -- because you again invoke it to come, you again call it to come. I have heard: Mulla Nasrudin had once decided that he would never touch any alcoholic thing again in his life any intoxicant. And he was a drunkard. So just to test his own will-power, he walked on the path where the pub was. Just in front of the pub, he looked at the pub in avery proud way and said to himself,'I have decided that nothing can attract me and nothing can force me to g astray'; and he heartily walked a hundred feet away. Then he patted his own back and he said,'Nasrudin, you are great. Now I will treat you, come to the pub.' And on that day he drank twice.

Don't play games with yourself. It is your freedom, but freedom is very dangerous because it does not leave any corner for you to hide in. You cannot throw responsibility on anybody else. Simply and absolutely, you are responsible. Just watch and see the fact of it, and truth liberates.

If you can see this, then whether you decide to smoke or drink does not matter. Whether you decide to drop it does not matter. The only thing that matters is to be always mindful of your freedom. If you are not aware of that then this will happen: you will feel that nothing ever really drops away. It comes again and again, and of course it comes worse than ever. It comes with a vengeance.

But don't think of yourself as a victim; you are not. Try what I am saying, just watch what I am saying. Smoking... let there be a decision that you are not going to smoke. Let the cigarette drop from your fingers, and then watch. Just go on observing. Whenever you again want to smoke, don't say that it is because of old habit.,It is again a fresh decision, not an old habit. You go on throwing the responsibility on the old habit to save your own face. Please don't do that. Say that,'Now I have decided to smoke again.' Nobody is barring you; it is your decision. You can cancel, or you can vote for it again. But always insist that it is a fresh decision, and you will never be in the grip of so-called habits, so-called mechanical habits. You will feel a free man. Smoking or not smoking is immaterial; to feel a free man is very significant. Nothing is more significant than that. And I am here to make you aware of your freedom. If you go to the so-called saints, they will make you aware of your mechanicalness: that is the difference. They will make you aware of your mechanicalness, and they will create a new mechanicalness in you. They will say,'You have been smoking for thirty years? Now take a vow that you will never smoke again.' Old habit is there; now they are telling you to create a greater habit in order to destroy the old habit. Then non-smoking will become a habit, but the freedom is nowhere there. Whether you smoke or don't smoke, you remain a victim.

We have a sannyasin here, Narendra Bodhisattva. His father is a very beautiful man. People think that he is a little crazy, but he is really a beautiful man. He belongs to a certain sect of Jainism. He went on a visit, on a pilgrimage, and when you go to Jain monks they always ask you to take a vow because otherwise your going on the pilgrimage is meaningless. The monk there asked him to take some vow, so he decided to take a vow. He said,'I have never smoked in my life -- now I will smoke.' The monk must have thought him crazy. He came back and he told me,'This vow I have taken.' And now he RELIGIOUS smokes. I said,'You are a beautiful man. You did well.' Whether you smoke or don't smoke, all vows lead you to mechanicalness.

My whole emphasis is that you should become aware of your freedom. Let your life flow out of your freedom. Whatsoever you decide is up to you. Who am I to tell you to smoke or not to smoke, to drink or not to drink? I am not worried about such foolishnesses; this is for you to decide. You are your own master. These are trivia; they are not significant. All that matters is that you remain alert, remain centered in your freedom. Never do anything which goes against your freedom. Do -- everything is allowed if it is done out of freedom. To act out of freedom is to be virtuous, to act out of bondage is to sin.

Christianity

VOL. 4, COME FOLLOW YOURSELF

Chapter-6

Happiness is that which Happens