Tug of War

Third Question



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The fourth question:

Question 3


It is a difficult question. HOW CAN A DISCIPLE KNOW THAT HE HAS BEEN CHOSEN BY A MASTER? The moment you start feeling an urge to surrender, an urge to bow down, an urge to fall in love, an urge to efface yourself... In the beginning it is a very, very, small, still voice. You will have to be very silent and quiet to hear it, but it is there. Once the Master has chosen you, something deep inside starts vibrating.

But you may be full of the noise, clamour, of the constant chattering of your mind, and you may not hear it.

Sit silently. Calm down. Look within. And you will find a new kind of vibe in the heart, a new kind of thrill. It has never been there before. It is almost like falling in love. When the Master has chosen you, you are falling into a love affair. It goes higher than your ordinary love affair, it goes deeper than your ordinary love affair; it goes far out.

But in the beginning it is almost like a love affair. How do you fall in love? Can it be answered? How do you know? You pass a woman, a stranger, you have never seen her before, she has never seen you before. For a single moment you look into each other's eyes and something has become aflame. How do you know about it?

It happens exactly the same way when you look into the eyes of a Master -- and it can happen even with a photograph. You can ask Aneeta. She has been in love with me, without seeing mc, for months -- just by looking into the eyes of my photograph. That's why I go on sending as many photographs as possible to the far comers of the world. I'm not going anywhere but my eyes can travel, and wherever somebody has the capacity to listen to his heart or her heart, looking into my eyes something will start hap-pening. I may be thousands of miles away, that doesn't matter.

You look into my eyes, you feel my vibe, and if you feel like falling.... It will be mad! All love is mad! It will be crazy. If you are very, very rational then you will miss it. You will rationalise it away, you will explain it away.

That is my feeling about the questioner. It has happened to the questioner but the questioner is trying to avoid it, he is trying not to see it. It has happened. The questioner has not become a sannyasin yet. I have chosen already, now it is for you to listen. Sit silently and listen, and it comes very loud and very clear. It is a still, small voice, but if you are silent it is very clear and very loud. You cannot deny it.

HOW CAN A DISCIPLE KNOW THAT HE HAS BEEN CHOSEN BY A MASTER? If you feel like going crazy around a man; if you start feeling that something clicks; if you start feeling that you are falling into a kind of new rhythm, a new wavelength; if doors start opening, new dimensions open, new flowers bloom; if you feel the unknown at the door, if you feel the strange unknown knocking at the door -- the Master has called you, the Master has chosen you. Now it is for you to open the door.

Courage will be needed. Religion is only for the courageous, for the brave. It is not for the cowards. And cowards can always rationalise easily. They can find ways and means to avoid, but the real reason is fear. And remember, with a Master there is going to be fear.

Just the other day a young man came and he said that he had been interested in Gurdjieff, but he was always afraid. I looked into his eyes and I asked him, 'Are you not afraid of me?' For a single split-second he looked into my eyes and he said, 'Yes, I am afraid of you too.' Then I told him, 'I have chosen you, and a courageous man....' He immediately bowed down, surrendered, and said, 'Osho, give me sannyas.'

Fear is bound to be there; one has to go on in spite of the fear. Fear is bound to be there because a Master is going to be your death. A Master is going to kill you utterly. Only when you are burned completely does the new arrive; on the ashes of the old the new arrives.

Enlightenment is a phoenix phenomenon. You have to burn yourself completely, the Master will be your fire. So fear will be there. and sometimes you will start listening -- the knock is there, the whisper is there -- but the fear will be more loud. Naturally, the fear will be yours, the knock will be of the Master. If you are too afraid and cowardly you will close and shut your-self down so that the whisper is heard no more.

And then you ask: WHERE ARE HIS FREEDOM AND RESPONSIBILITY? You are not, and right now you cannot have any responsibility and any freedom. These are just whimsical ideas. One who has arrived at his centre can have freedom and can have responsibility, one who has become awakened can have freedom and can have responsibility. They are part of being integrated. You cannot have any responsibility and you cannot have any freedom. Your freedom is just a wish and your responsibility is just an idea.

But these ideas can go on befooling you. B. F. Skinner has written a book BEYOND FREEDOM AND DIGNITY. I am in total disagreement with him. Whatsoever he is saying is utter-non-sense, but he is true about ninety-nine per cent of people. He is false only about a few people, rare people -- a Buddha, a Jesus, a Mohammed, a Mansoor, a Jalalud-Din Rumi. Yes, he is wrong about these people, but these people are rare, you don't find them every day, in every nook and comer of life. They are very rare flowers -- incredible when they are, but unbelievable when they are gone. They look like metaphors, not real, like myths, not historical .

Skinner is right about you -- about ninety-nine per cent of the people he is right. Ninety-nine point nine per cent, I should say. There is no freedom and there is no dignity; you function as a machine. How can a machine be responsible? And whatsoever you think is your responsibility is just a trick of the society implanted in you. The man who was in charge of burning the Jews in Adolf Hitler's Germany and who burned millions of Jews was doing a responsible job -- that's what he said before the court. 'I was a responsible man, and whatsoever order was given to me I obeyed with full responsibility. I followed the order. I have not done anything on my own, I was simply obedient -- and that was my responsibility.'

I can understand -- a machine is a machine, it can only follow orders . How can it be responsible? When I use the word 'responsible' I mean: able to respond. Now you are going to burn ten thousand Jews -- and those big ovens where the Jews were burned, those concentration camps, were made with such scientific accuracy that within a second ten thousand people would simply evaporate. And they were surrounded by glass walls. They could not see out, but from the outside you could see them. And the men who were responsible for burning them were standing around and watching. Ten thousand Jews -- small children, women -- who had not done anything wrong to anybody were just evaporating.

And a person is doing a responsible job. What kind of responsibility is this? Can't he see the point that these ten thousand people are simply dying for nothing, for no reason? They have committed no crime. To be a Jew is not a crime. They were punished unnecessarily, for nothing. And he thinks he is responsible? To whom is he responsible? -- to Adolf Hitler, not to this rare situation where ten thousand people are being burned. He can stop, he can say, 'No, I will not do this! I would rather be killed myself if that is going to happen. Or if I am thrown out of my job it is nothing. But I am not going to kill these ten thousand innocent people.'

That would have been responsibility -- ability to respond. What kind of responsibility is this? An order comes that you should burn these people. And everybody is doing his job responsibly. The typist who typed the order, the person in charge who signed the order, the man who will push the button -- they are all doing their jobs responsibly. And nobody seems to be really responsible, they are just machines.

This is what I call robopathology.

And you ask me: WHERE ARE HIS RESPONSIBILITY AND FREEDOM? You can't have any freedom because you are not yet. Freedom is when you are, and you are only when you are awake. You are fast asleep  -- what kind of freedom can you have? You can dream about it. You don't have any freedom. Your whole life is just accidental -- just accidental.

You go on thinking that you have chosen out of your freedom. All nonsense.

Just the other day I was reading about a poet, a famous poet, who was writing about his life and he remembered his father telling him a story. His father told him: 'When I was young, unmarried, I was travelling in a train. I felt an urge to smoke so I searched for the cigarettes in my pocket. There were five other people and there were only six cigarettes. I offered the cigarettes to everybody, the five people took one each and thanked me. And then I put the empty packet into my pocket. When I got to the station where I was to get down, I left the station and was about to hire a taxi. Then suddenly I again felt an urge to smoke. I looked into my pocket. It was empty. So I went back into the station to purchase some cigarettes and at the counter, at the cigarette counter, I fell in love with a woman -- the woman who was selling the cigarettes.' And that became the poet's mother -- they got married.

Now the poet says, 'If one of the passengers in the com-partment had been a non-smoker, I would not have been born at all. Just one cigarette was enough to prevent me from being born -- because my father would not have gone back if there had been one cigarette left. Then they would never have met -- my mother and my father.'

Of course he would have got married to some other woman. But from some other woman this poet could not have been born. This poet needed this man and this woman to meet, otherwise he would never have been born.

How many poets are not born -- do you know? It is difficult to say.

Life is just like that -- accidental. What freedom, what responsibility are you talking about? To be free, you first need to be, then your every act is conscious. Then you are not a victim of unconscious, accidental situations. Then whatsoever you do, there is a consciousness, a witnessing. Then life is no longer accidental, then life has a sense of direction, then life has an integrity. And from that integrity, from that centre of integration, you respond.

You need to become a disciple because you don't have that integrity yet. Otherwise what is the point of becoming a disciple? To become a disciple means to come close to a man who is integrated, and whose integration can function as a catalytic agent for your integration. It means to come close to a man, to come into the presence of a man, who is no longer a machine, who is awakened -- so that his awakening can create ripples of awakening in you. To become receptive to such a man, to remain available to such a man, is all that is meant by becoming a disciple.

But right now don't go on deceiving yourself that you have any kind of freedom or responsibility. It hurts when I say this. It hurts your ego, you don't feel good. You and not free! You and not responsible! What nonsense is Osho talking about? I know it hurts, but if you try to understand, if you try to be sympathetic to what I am saying to you, if you look without prejudice and without ego, you will see the point of it. And that very seeing will become a transformation in your life.


Next: Chapter 14, Tug of War, The fourth question


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