Upanishads

PHILOSOPHIA ULTIMA

Chapter-4

Be Assertive!

Second Question

 

 

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The second question

Question 2

OSHO: I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT SOME OF MY LAUGHTER AT YOUR JOKES COMES BECAUSE OF MY OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTIAN MORALITY -- A 'SAINTLY' MAN WOULD NEVER SAY 'FUCK' OR 'SHIT'. WELL, SO MUCH FOR SAINTS. I AM LOVING THIS BURSTING LAUGHTER, SO SHARE ANOTHER JOKE WITH ME.

Anand David

THAT'S THE ONLY THING that will be missed if all these churches, moralities, puritanic attitudes disappear from the world -- the only thing that will be missed is the jokes, because jokes need a certain background. Without the popes there will be no jokes, because the background is absolutely essential.

In the day you cannot see the stars -- they are there. They don't simply evaporate in the morning; they are not like dewdrops evaporating in the sun. They are far bigger than your sun; suns millions of times bigger are there. Those stars look small because they are so far away; actually our sun is a very mediocre sun, bigger suns are there. They don't disappear, but in the light you cannot see them -- the background disappears. The background is the darkness of the night; against the darkness of the night those stars shine forth.

So that much I also feel, that once all these fools disappear -- the popes, the ayatollahs, the imams, the shankaracharyas -- and this whole nonsense is no more there, one thing will certainly be missed: jokes will be missed. The best jokes arise around the priests, the rabbis, the popes. You are right, David, in saying:

I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT SOME OF MY LAUGHTER AT YOUR JOKES COMES BECAUSE OF MY OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTIAN MORALITY.

Not some of it -- all of it!

You say:

A SAINTLY MAN WOULD NEVER SAY 'FUCK' OR 'SHIT'.

That is true, but I am not a saint! I don't want to be categorized as a saint. I don't want to stand with those long faces, with those stuffed tomatoes, with all kinds of rubbish. And they have only one idea in their heads: 'holier-than-thou'. That's why they cannot use these words -- otherwise these words are there. They cannot use them, but the words are there.

At a southern Californian school for underprivileged Mexican children, the brightest boy in the class was named Jesus Christ Gonzalez. In preparation for the coming visit of Monsignor O'Brien, the teaching nun rehearsed with the boy, "My name is J.C. Gonzalez and I am going to spell 'rose'." The nun warned him against using his full name.

When the Monsignor arrived, the boy got up and said, "My names is J.C. Gonzalez and I am going to spell 'chrysanthemum'."

The bewildered nun remarked, "Jesus Christ, you can't spell 'chrysanthemum'!"

"Goddamit!" snapped the clergyman, "Let him spell 'chrysanthemum' if he wants to!"

They are human beings just as you are, they are just hiding behind masks.

I have heard:

A Pope -- maybe this Polack Pope -- was going for a morning walk with a rabbi. The rabbi stumbled on a stone, hurt his foot, and said, "Shit!"

The Pope said, "This is not right, because God is everywhere and he must have heard you."

They walked a little further and again the rabbi stumbled and again he said, "Shit!"

The Pope said, "Enough is enough! God will punish you."

And the third time it happened suddenly there was great thunder in the clouds, lightning struck the Pope dead, and then somebody in the clouds shouted, "Shit! I missed!"

There is nothing wrong -- even God uses these words! I don't know about your saints, I know about God, and who cares about your saints?

David, are you English or something?

Judge: "You are accused of making love to a dead woman in the desert."

Drunkard: "Who me, Mr. Judge?"

Judge: "Yes, you!"

Drunkard: "But that woman... hic... that woman... hic... was she dead?"

Judge: "Are you trying to tell me that you didn't know?"

Drunkard: "I swear to God, Judge, Your Honor, Sir, I... hic... didn't know. I thought... hic... she was English!"

You say:

A SAINTLY MAN WOULD NEVER SAY 'FUCK' OR 'SHIT'.

Then after me you will have to change the definition of the saintly man.

One Indian friend has written -- his name is Iqbal Kureshi -- he says:

 

Next: Chapter 4, Be Assertive!, Third Question

 

Energy Enhancement          Enlightened Texts         Upanishads           Philosophia Ultima

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

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