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Chapter 5: You must see for yourself

Question 1

 

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Question 1
Maneesha has asked:
OUR BELOVED MASTER,
ARE YOU NOT THE EXCEPTION TO WHAT DOGEN SAYS -- IN THAT YOU DID NOT HAVE A PERSONAL TRANSMISSION FROM A MASTER?

I have a transmission from the universe itself. The moon has come to my window on its own.

AS YOU DID NOT HAVE A MASTER, HOW WERE YOU TICKLED?

I am being tickled by my disciples. Do you want a little tickling session?

On their fiftieth wedding anniversary, mean old Hamish MacTavish decides to treat his wife, Maggie, by taking her out to lunch at the Bawling Bagpipe Restaurant.
They order their food, and when it arrives Hamish starts eating -- but Maggie just sits there watching.
The waiter becomes anxious, and goes over to the old couple. "Is there something wrong with your food, Mrs. MacTavish?" he asks.
"No, no young man," replies Maggie. "I'm just waiting for my husband to finish. He's using the teeth first!"

Paddy gets sentenced to thirty days in jail for being drunk and disorderly. When Judge Rumcake has finished pronouncing the sentence, Paddy asks if he can say something.
"Why, of course!" says the judge.
"If I called you a son-of-a-bitch," suggests Paddy, "what would you do?"
"What?" says Rumcake, "I would hold you in contempt of court and give you an extra week in jail."
"I see," says Paddy. "And if I thought you were a son-of-a-bitch, what would you do?"
"In that case," replies Judge Rumcake, "I'd do nothing, because there's no law against thinking."
"Oh! Well in that case," concludes Paddy, "I think you are a son-of-a-bitch!"

Milarepa, Devageet and Sarjano find themselves sitting outside Pythagoras Clinic waiting to see Doctor Azima.
"What are you guys here for?" asks Devageet.
"It's-a my prick," admits Sarjano, nervously. "It has turned bright-a orange!"
"What?" exclaim Milarepa and Devageet together. "That is what I'm here for," says Milarepa. "And me too!" exclaims Devageet.
So the three swamis enter the clinic together.
Undressing, Milarepa and Devageet expose their bright orange machinery, and Sarjano unrolls his sausage.
"My God!" says Azima. "That is amazing!" And he starts to make his examinations.
"How is your sex-a life?" asks Azima. "Do you make-a love once a night?"
The three swamis look at each other and shake their heads in silence.
"Well-a, how-a about twice a week?" continues Azima.
"There was a time..." reflects Milarepa. Devageet and Sarjano nod quietly.
"Well-a, how about twice a month-a?" asks Azima.
"I wish!" says Devageet, dreamily.
"Once a month?" suggests Azima. There is another silence.
"Well, that's okay then!" says Azima. "Don't be worried. It is just-a rust!"

Ronald and Nancy Reagan are invited to dinner with Ed Meese and his wife, pope the Polack and his bishop, and Rajiv and Mrs. Gandhi.
They go to a nice restaurant downtown and are seated immediately at the celebrity table. With full pomp and circumstance, head waiter Reginald the homosexual serves them cocktails and takes their orders.
He returns to the kitchen and hands the order slip to Jablonski the cook.
"Hey, wait a minute," says Jablonski. "This order says `Give Nancy Reagan her favorite chicken parts.'"
"Yes, that is correct," agrees Reginald gaily. "What about it?"
"Well," says Jablonski. "What the hell are Nancy Reagan's favorite chicken parts?"
"I don't know," says the waiter, "but as far as I can tell, they must be right wings and assholes!"

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

(Gibberish)
Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Be silent.
Close your eyes.
Feel your body to be completely frozen.
Use this moment of silence
to go in without any fear.
This is your temple,
this is where every buddha
has found himself.
In this silence
you are no more yourself; you have become
part of an oceanic consciousness.
This is what being a buddha means.
Deeper and deeper...

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Relax.
Let go.
Leave the body and the mind aside.
Just keep yourself as a watcher,
a witness.
And suddenly lights, flames, blessings
and flowers of the unknown
start showering on you.
This is your sky.
You can go as deep,
as far as you want.
You will not meet anyone on the way.
There is no need to be afraid.
You can only be encountered by yourself,
your authentic and original being.
What a blessed evening.
Ten thousand buddhas together,
rejoicing in silence,
tasting immortality.
In a single moment,
the whole eternity is condensed.
Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Come back
slowly and gracefully.
Remember,
you have been in the land of the buddhas.
Sit down for a few moments,
collecting your memory,
so that it can become an undercurrent
twenty-four hours in your life,
of joy... and bliss... and ecstasy.

Okay, Maneesha?
Yes, Beloved Master.

Can we celebrate ten thousand buddhas?
Yes, Beloved Master!

 

 

Next: Chapter 6: Cages of gold

 


Energy Enhancement             Enlightened Texts             Zen             The Miracle

 

 

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ENERGY

ENHANCEMENT MEDITATION

MEDITATION HEAD

 HOME PAGE

 

GAIN ENERGY APPRENTICE LEVEL1

THE ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL PROCESS

LEVEL2

THE KARMA CLEARING PROCESS APPRENTICE LEVEL3

MASTERY OF  RELATIONSHIPS TANTRA APPRENTICE LEVEL4

 

STUDENTS EXPERIENCES  2005 AND 2006

 

MORE STUDENTS EXPERIENCES

 - FIFTY FULL TESTIMONIALS

2003 COURSE

 
ENERGY ENHANCEMENT
TESTIMONIALS
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