Archetypes - The Pleaser and the Blamer.

Two sides of the same coin. The pleaser is always keen to please at the start of a relationship, but sooner or later the coin flips and the same person becomes the blamer. The pleaser / blamer is caught in a lot of self-hatred. Deep down they dislike themselves for being the pleaser and of course they eventually chastise themselves for being the blamer, usually as another person leaves their life.

Unfortunately, the blamer then decides "to do better next time" and thus begins the next relationship with even more "pleasing" which, of course, eventually swings to self-dislike and then to blaming the other for this outcome of circumstance.

I feel that the pleaser feels deep down that they are not really worth being the recipient of any genuine warmth from others, thus they attempt to "win" the affections and friendships of others.

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The Pleaser And The Blamer.