THE MASTER FOSO HOYEN SAID: 'THEY SAY THAT BUDDHA UTTERED FIVE THOUSAND AND FORTY-EIGHT TRUTHS DURING HIS LIFETIME. THEY INCLUDE THE TRUTH OF EMPTINESS AND THE TRUTH OF BEING. THEY INCLUDE THE TRUTH OF SUDDEN ENLIGHTENMENT AND THE TRUTH OF GRADUAL ENLIGHTENMENT. ARE NOT ALL THESE YEA-SAYINGS?

'BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, YOKA, IN THE "SONG OF ENLIGHTENMENT" SAYS THERE ARE NO BEINGS AND NO BUDDHAS -- SAGES ARE SEA-BUBBLES, AND GREAT MINDS ARE ONLY FLICKERINGS OF LIGHTNING. ARE NOT ALL THESE NAY-SAYINGS?     'OH MY DISCIPLES, IF YOU SAY YEA, YOU DENY YOKA, AND IF YOU SAY NAY, YOU CONTRADICT BUDDHA. IF BUDDHA WERE HERE WITH YOU, HOW WOULD HE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM? 'IF WE KNEW WHERE TO STAND WE WOULD QUESTION BUDDHA EVERY MORNING AND GREET HIM EVERY NIGHT. BUT AS WE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STAND I WILL LET YOU INTO A SECRET: WHEN I SAY THIS IS SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A YEA-SAYING. WHEN I SAY THIS IS NOT SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A NAY-SAYING.     'TURN TO THE EAST AND SEE THE HOLY WESTERN LAND, FACE SOUTH TO SEE THE NORTHERN STAR.'

NIRVANA, tao or truth, is an existential experience. One has to be it to know it. One has to dissolve into it to be it. Even to call it an experience is not exactly right, because it is more like experiencing than like an experience.

The word 'experience' gives the feeling that the thing is finishes, completed. It is never completed, never finished. It is a process-a dynamic process -- which goes on moving. the very movement is its life; it never comes to an end.

The goal is in the journey. Except for the journey there is no goal. The journey is the goal. That's why even to call it an experience is to call it wrongly. It is an experiencing. It is never finished. You enter into it but you never come out of it. By the time you can come out of it, you are no more. It is a point of no return.

Experience exists between the experiencer and the experienced, but in the experience of truth -- or call it god, or whatsoever you like -- the experiencer is dissolved, the experienced is dissolved; there remains only a dynamic process of experiencing.

It is a river without banks. The duality is not there. There exists no division.

So how to express it? -- because all expressions will be limitations. All limitations are falsifications. If you say 'god is', you falsify. If you say 'god is not', again you falsify from the other end. When you say 'god is', you have uttered an untruth.

Let me explain it to you. We can say 'the house is', we can say 'the tree is', we can say 'the man is' -- because one day the tree will not be, one day the tree was not; one day the house will not be, one day the house was not. Between two nothings, there is just a lightning of existence.

We can say about the house 'it is', but we cannot say 'god is'. In the same sense, the word will become a falsification -- because god has always been there, is there, will be there. So in the same sense as we say 'the house is', we cannot say 'god is'. 'God is' makes god also a thing -- and god is not a thing. God is all things together... all things that have ever been, and all things that will ever be there. God is the totality of past, present and future.

So how to say 'god is'? In fact, the sentence 'god is' is a tautology, a repetition -- as if you are saying 'isness is'. God means isness -- the isness of all that is.

The isness of the house is god, the isness of the tree is god, the isness of man is god.

You cannot say 'god is' because then god will also be one of the million things; he will not be the totality. You cannot say 'god is'; it is a falsification.

You cannot say 'god is not', because the totality is. How can you deny it? Even if you say it is an illusion, the illusion is. Even if you say it is a dream, the dream is, the dreamer is, the dreamed is. You cannot simply say 'god is not'. You are, and the person to whom you are saying 'god is not', is -- the isness cannot be denied.

So what to do? How to express god? How to express nirvana? How to express tao or the truth? They cannot be expressed. They can be understood, they can be indicated, but they cannot be expressed.

Expression is very limited and god is infinite. The infinite cannot be put into words. You can force the infinite into the words but then it is no more infinite; that is the falsification. All that is beautiful, all that is lovely, all that is good and true, remains unexpressed.

Lao Tzu has said, 'Truth cannot be expressed. The moment you express it, it is no more truth.'

This is one of the most fundamental things to be understood. Truth can be shown, but cannot be said. You can show truth -- a buddha is an arrow, showing the truth, but he is not saying it. And whatsoever he says is a falsification.

Zen monks say that Buddha uttered infinite lies -- because whatsoever is uttered becomes a lie. It is not a question of what it is -- the moment you utter it, it becomes a lie. The utterance is very finite, and the uttered is infinite.

Have you watched? If you have fallen in love with a man or a woman and you say 'I love you', suddenly you feel the impotence of language. 'I love you' does not carry much. It looks absurd to say; it looks as if you have betrayed your inner feeling. Real lovers never say 'I love you'. They may do many things to show their love, but they will never say 'I love you', because to say it is to corrupt it. It is vaster than the word 'love'.

Whenever you say to somebody 'I love you', you will feel a little guilty. If you don't love them there is no problem; then you can go on saying. Then these are cliches, then they don't mean much. Then you can go on playing with words. But if you really love, then your heart will beat faster when you say 'I love you', and you will feel a little embarrassed. It is something which cannot be said.

Yes, through your eyes you can show it, through your touch you can show it, through a thousand and one things you can indicate towards it, but how can you say it? The language is not capable of it.

If you cannot say 'love', how can you say 'prayer'? Prayer is falling in love with the whole. It is the greatest love there is. How can you say 'prayer'?

A really religious person sits silent in his prayer. And those who go on talking to god, saying things to god, don't know what prayer is. They are repeating cliches. They are repeating words.

A real prayer is bound to be silent. One remains mystified. One is overpowered by the infinite. One wonders, one is in a deep awe. But how can you say anything? Words falter, the mind stops, the thinking cannot move. Suddenly you are in a deep emptiness. You are there, but words are not there. You feel your own heart beating, you can feel your own breathing; when you become totally silent you can even feel your own blood circulating -- but there is no mind.

Prayer cannot be done. It is not an act; it is nothing like a doing. It is something that you can be in, but you cannot do. You can be prayerful, but you cannot pray. It is a state of mind, not an activity.

God, nirvana, tao, truth -- just meaningless sounds... indicative, pointing towards the infinite, towards the beyond... fingers pointing to the moon.

But fingers are not the moon. If I show you the moon with my finger, don't catch hold of my finger -- it has nothing to do with the moon. Don't be attached to my finger, otherwise you will miss the moon. The finger has to be forgotten. You have to move away from the finger to see the moon.

So whatsoever a buddha has said has to be forgotten. Scriptures have to be dropped -- they are fingers pointing to the moon. But you become a christian, you become a hindu, you become a buddhist -- there you miss. Suddenly you are caught by empty words, verbiage, rubbish, and the more you are caught in the verbiage, the further away you are from the truth.

Truth is an experiencing, it is not an intellectual effort. It has nothing to do with intellect. Your intelligence bums bright. Yes, your intelligence has a clarity, but the mirror is completely clean of words.

Once Goethe was asked, 'What is the meaning, the secret, of life?' He replied, 'That which the plant does unconsciously, do consciously... that is to say, grow.'

The meaning of life is in growth. The meaning cf nirvana is in your growth. The meaning of truth is in your growth. Grow.

And there is no end to this growth. You go on growing, you go on growing. The journey is infinite. There never comes a goal. Many goals come and go, many peaks of experience come and go, but still the infinite waits and it goes on waiting. You cannot exhaust it.

That is the trouble with language -- language is exhaustive. When I say to you 'I love you', I have said everything, exhausted... but love goes on. Love is a growth, an alive process. 'I love you' is dead language. Something has died in the words. Words are like corpses.

A buddha, one who is enlightened, helps you to grow. If he talks, he talks only to help you to drop all talking. If he uses words, he uses them only to help you to become wordless. If he talks, he talks only to indicate towards silence.

So always remember, when a buddha says anything, the container is not important at all, but the content. The word is the container and the meaning is the content. But that meaning can come to you only when you grow. Unless you taste something of buddhahood, you will not understand.

So it is not a question of knowledge; it is a question of understanding. Knowledge you can go on gathering; you need not grow. You can go on stuffing yourself with knowledge and deep down inside you will remain the same -- no growth happens, no transformation happens.

In fact, all the knowledge that you gather hinders growth. One becomes too burdened by what one knows. The more you know, the less the possibility of knowing. Then your capacity to know is too burdened. Then your capacity to know is too clouded.

Religion is not a process of learning. In fact, it is just the contrary -- a process of unlearning. Whatsoever you know has to be dropped, unlearned again, so that you can become a child once more... so that you can be reborn.

And this second birth is the real birth. The first birth is not the real birth; it is only an opportunity for the second birth, that's all. If the second birth happens, you used your first birth. If the second never happens, then the opportunity was lost.

The first birth is only the birth of the body and the mind. The second birth is the birth of your spirit, of your soul. And unless you know something of the innermost eternal core of your being, you have not known anything.

But humanity loves knowledge, information. It is very ego-satisfying. Whenever you can say that you know, whenever you can give some advice to somebody else, you feel very high. Not knowing who you are, not knowing where you are, you go on playing the role of a teacher.

Just look around -- everybody is giving advice to everybody else. Of course, nobody takes it -- and it is good that nobody takes it otherwise the world would be in much more trouble. It is already in much trouble. It is good that nobody takes your advice -- your advice is worthless: In trouble, in crisis, you will not listen to your own advice. It is just dead junk. It has nothing to do with your inner growth.

Real knowing is part of growth. Grow.

Each moment go on growing, expanding, exploding. Each moment should be a new birth.

Why is it not so? Because you go on carrying the past with you. If you want each moment to be a new birth, you have to die also each moment to the past. Die to the past so that you can be reborn herenow.

All knowledge is of the past. Mind is always of the past. Consciousness is always of the present. A buddha helps you to become more conscious; he does not help you to become more knowledgeable.

I have heard an anecdote:

"A worried fellow entered the psychiatrist's office wearing love-beads, bell-bottom pants, shoulder-length hair, and smoking a joint.

The psychiatrist said, 'You claim you are not a hippie. Then how do you explain the clothes, the hair and the pot?'

'Doctor,' sighed the chap, 'that's what I'm here to find out."'

Nobody knows why you are the way you are. Nobody knows who you are. Nobody knows why you have landed in the state of mind in which you have landed. Completely unaware, you go on drifting. You go on imitating others because you don't know who you are. The only way to get an identity, an image, is to imitate others.

I was reading Alan Watts' autobiography. He relates one incident from his childhood. When he was a child, there was a boy named Peter living in the same street as him, and he appreciated that boy very much. That boy was a sort of hero to Alan Watts. Sometimes he would come home so impressed by his hero, Peter, that he would start behaving like him and his mother would say, 'Alan, remember, you are Alan, not Peter.'

From the very childhood, everybody is trying to be somebody else, because you don't know who you are and it is very difficult to live without an identity. It is very difficult to live without knowing who you are.

Only two possibilities are there: either you go in -- which is a tremendous adventure and needs tremendous courage; or you imitate others -- a bit from somebody and a bit from somebody else and you become a patchwork.

Look at yourself and you can find how you have become a patchwork. Whenever you say something, inside just watch where it is coming from. Your mother, your father, your brother, the friend, the teacher, the priest -- from where has this bit come? And go on discarding all that has come from others.

A deep cleansing is needed for growth, because you cannot imitate growth. Growth has to happen to you; you cannot go on imitating. Drop all imitation, and then by and by you will have a clarity, by and by you will have a ground to stand on. You will know who you are.

In the beginning it remains vague, confused, chaotic, but if you are courageous, by and by things settle and for the first time you become aware of your own being.

And each being is unique. Never has there been anybody else like you, and there never will be again. God has staked much on you. He expects much from you. You are a novel experiment. Don't miss the opportunity.

But people go on imitating and people go on collecting knowledge, and people go on creating a false identity just to cling to so they don't feel alone, so they don't feel lost.

If you really want to get home, first you will have to get lost. If you really want to know something, first you will have to drop all knowledge.

If you really want to be yourself -- and who does not want? -- you will have to stop imitating.

Enough is enough. You have imitated enough and wasted much opportunity. But it is never too late. Drop it. Cleanse your mirror of being.

In the beginning you will be afraid, because it will feel empty. But emptiness has a freshness about it. Emptiness has a beauty about it. Emptiness is virgin, and everything comes out of that virgin emptiness. That womb of emptiness creates everything.

Even if you start working on your inner growth, you are always divided... in a certain way split, schizophrenic. A part of you goes on clinging to the outside image -- which is cheap. One part goes on working inside, but this dual activity, which is contradictory, dissipates energy.

Take a decision. If you really want to grow, then unburden yourself of all that has come to you from others. They may have given it in deep love; that is not the point. They may have given it to you because they wanted to help you; that is not the point. Feel grateful to them... but keep yourself unburdened from all the advice given to you from all the knowledge thrown in you, from all the conditionings that the society has forced you to be in.

Unconditioning is needed. That's what I mean when I say unlearning. Once the mind is unconditioned, things again become pure; the stream of consciousness again flows; it is no more blocked. You are no more frozen. The complexes by and by melt. You become a wild energy.

And remember, god is wild. God is not yet civilized, and never will be. Once god is civilized, he will be dead. God is wild... raw energy, with tremendous potentiality and no limitations.

If you want to move in step with god, you will also have to be like him, a little bit at least... a little wild. A sheer delight in energy is needed. Not knowledge, not character, but a sheer delight in energy, a sheer delight of being. Just a celebration that 'I am here'; just the happiness that 'l can breathe', that 'I can see', that 'I can hear', that 'I can dance', that 'I can love' just a sheer delight and a gratitude arises in you.

That gratitude is the quality of a religious man, and in that gratitude, by and by one starts tasting what nirvana is.

Nirvana is cessation of the ego -- and when the ego ceases, god enters; when the host is no more there, then the guest comes.

Be more poetic about life and less philosophic. Allow poetry to enter in you and stop philosophizing. All philosophy is borrowed. Poetry need not be borrowed. Every child is born as a poet. Every child is a poet. To be a poet is natural, it is a gift of nature.

I was reading a few lines of Rainer Maria Rilke:

O tell us poet, what do you do?... I praise.

But those dark, deadly, devastating ways,

how do you bear them, suffer them?... I praise.

And then the nameless, beyond guess or gaze,

how do you call it, conjure it?... I praise.

And whence your right, in every kind of maze,

in every mask, to remain true?... I praise.

And that the mildest and the wildest ways

know you like star and storm?... I praise.

This is what I mean when I say a sheer delight in energy. Then you simply start praising.

Not that there is a god, but a praise arises in you, and because of that praise, everything becomes holy, sacred.

People come to me and they tell me that if I can convince them that there is a god then they will pray, and I tell them, 'If you pray, you will be convinced that there is god.'

God is a byproduct. God is not a primary experience, but a secondary experience. The basic thing is the capacity to pray and praise and to celebrate.

Forget all about god -- just feel happy. A tremendous opportunity has been given to you for no reason at all. You are alive. You have not earned it. You have not done anything to get it. It has been showered on you.

Suddenly one day you are alive... Loving, moving, breathing... and all the beauties and the experiences of life are available to you. The sun rises in the morning, the moon comes in the night, and the whole expanse of sky fills with the stars.

Praise. Pray. Feel grateful. The gift is so valuable that you cannot imagine how it can be earned. It is beyond valuation. Can you think, can you imagine something that you can do which will give you more life? How will you do it? What will you do? You cannot create even a single moment of life. It is a gift.

And when one starts praising, things become more and more beautiful. Trees become greener, flowers bloom as they had never bloomed before... because you were blind and you could not see. And birds sing as they have never sung before. Not that they were not singing, but you were deaf. Suddenly your sensations are open, suddenly your senses have become sensitive, receptive, and the whole life becomes a celebration.

Be a poet, and then there is the possibility to know what is. God is known by the poetic intelligence within you. Nirvana is attained by the poetic possibility, potential within you. It has nothing to do with philosophy. Philosophy always goes on denying. It always goes on saying no. Logic is a no-sayer. Life is bridged by a deep yes-saying. You say no -- the bridge is broken.

The 2en story:

THE MASTER FOSO HOYEN SAID: 'THEY SAY THAT BUDDHA UTTERED FIVE THOUSAND AND FORTY-EIGHT TRUTHS DURING HIS LIFETIME.'

This is just a way of saying that he uttered millions of truths. The truth is one, but a buddha goes on saying it in different ways because it cannot be said. So he goes on devising new ways to say it again. Again he fails, again he tries, again he fails.

The failure is absolutely certain, but the compassion of a buddha goes on. He would like to tell it to you, he would like to share it with you. He has attained and you are stumbling in the dark. He would like to call you to the path.

His compassion says, 'Say. Go on the housetops and shriek so that all those who are stumbling in the dark can hear.' And he tries, every moment of his life he tries... again and again he fails, because truth cannot be said.

That's why five thousand and forty-eight times, five thousand and forty-eight truths he uttered. This number is a symbolic number -- it shows infinity. It shows that millions of times he uttered, but still the truth remains unuttered. He devised many ways. He said it from one side, felt that it had not been communicated, so said it from the opposite side... maybe it could be communicated that way... failed from there, then he found another side.

Zen buddhists say that after Buddha became enlightened, he did not utter a single word, and they also say that he has said five thousand and forty-eight truths. What do they mean? They mean that he tried hard, but he could not say. He said, but the truth cannot be said and could not be said. He tried hard and missed, again and again, because the very nature of truth is such that it is inexpressible.

THE MASTER FOSO HOYEN SAID: 'THEY SAY THAT BUDDHA UTTERED FIVE THOUSAND AND FORTY-EIGHT TRUTHS DURING HIS LIFETIME.'

One thing will be of great value to understand: truth cannot be said, but at the same time, you cannot hide it. You cannot say it, but you cannot hide it. It tries to assert itself in millions of ways. The very experience is such that it wants to be shared, and it is also such that it cannot be shared.

Just a few days ago, Anupama asked a question, saying that when she goes deep in meditation, something happens to her but she cannot share it with her lover, so she feels a little guilty. Lovers want to share everything, whatsoever they have. Love is an unconditional sharing. So she wants to share it, but feels it is impossible to share. Guilt arises -- one feels as if one is hiding something.

But the very nature of truth is such that if you try to express it, you cannot express. The glimpse comes to you when there are no words, when the mind stops functioning -- then comes the glimpse. And by the time words have come back to the mind, the glimpse is gone. They never meet.

When the glimpse is there, words are not there; the mind is not there to recognize, to formulate. When the mind comes back, the glimpse is gone. From one door you enter; the truth leaves the house from another door. You never meet.

Truth leaves the moment the mind enters, but still, the mind can feel the fragrance. Something has happened, something tremendously valuable has happened. Somebody has been in the house. You can feel... somebody has passed. The room has a different quality to it now. Your whole being is throbbing with some experience. Something has happened -- a light in the darkness -- but the mind cannot capsulate what has happened. It can feel a little bit -- something certainly has happened, the being is not the same, the house has changed -- but still, what has happened remains incomprehensible to the mind.

The mind would like to share it with all those you love. With all those you feel for, you would like to share, but if you try, you will fail.

So these two things are part of the nature of the experience itself. First, you would like to share, you will have a tremendous urge to share, and then you will fail -- sharing is not possible. And the second thing: still you cannot hide it. It will show from your eyes, from the way you walk, from the way you talk, from the way you remain silent. It will show. Have you watched it?

One day a man came to me and he said, 'I am very stupid. Can silence help me?'

I told him, 'You try. At least this is good -- that you accept that you are stupid. This is the beginning of wisdom.'

But if a man is stupid and he becomes silent, the silence will have something of the stupidity. A stupid man silent will still be a stupid man. The silence of one who is enlightened and the silence of one who is stupid is going to be totally different. The stupid man's silence will be stupid. His talk will be stupid; his silence will also be stupid. The silence of a buddha will have a light, a flavour, a fragrance. His talk will also have the same quality.

It is not a question of being silent or talking. It is a question of your being -- the very quality.

When you have touched something of the no-mind, it will start expressing itself in many ways. Through the mind it will be difficult to express, but through your totality it will be expressed. You will see in a different way. If somebody looks into your eyes, your eyes will become silent pools of energy. If somebody touches your hand or your body, he will feel a certain coolness, tranquillity. Something has happened inside. You are carrying something in your womb.

Have you seen a woman with a child in her womb when she is walking? She walks differently. She carries something within her being.

Whenever an experience of truth -- even a glimpse, a satori -- has happened, you walk differently. You are no more the same. You cannot hide it. You cannot express it and you cannot hide it

'THOSE FIVE THOUSAND AND FORTY-EIGHT TRUTHS INCLUDE THE TRUTH OF EMPTINESS AND THE TRUTH OF BEING. THEY INCLUDE THE TRUTH OF SUDDEN ENLIGHTENMENT AND THE TRUTH OF GRADUAL ENLIGHTENMENT.'

Very paradoxical. Sometimes Buddha says that your innermost being is totally empty, and sometimes he says your innermost being is a positive being, full of bliss, peace, tranquillity. What is true?

You can have a glass full of water and then you can empty it, you can throw the water out. The glass is empty now, in a way, but still, full in another way. The water has been emptied, but now air has entered into the glass. The glass is Still not empty. You can say it is empty of water, but you cannot say it is empty -- it is full of air.

You can empty your room of all furniture, and then you will say, 'This room is empty.' But have you watched? Now the room is full of room, space... full of emptiness. Of course, the furniture is removed. The furniture was a barrier against the room existing in its totality. Now the room is simply a room -- room means space. Now it is a space full of space. You can move more easily, you can be more easily in it. Now nothing hinders the way.

Sometimes Buddha says that the innermost being is empty and sometimes he says that the innermost being is absolute being -- empty of the mind and full of no-mind; empty of thoughts, full of no-thoughts, intervals, gaps... full of room.

If you can enter a man of meditation, you will find in him infinite space and no barriers. If you can enter in me, you will not find any barrier anywhere. You can go on and on and on. The furniture has been removed. I am totally empty in a way, in a sense, and totally full in another way. I am empty of myself, but full of god. God means room. God means space.

You can be emptied of intellect and then you are full of intelligence. You can be emptied of knowledge -- then you are full of understanding. Both are true together.

'THEY INCLUDE THE TRUTH OF SUDDEN ENLIGHTENMENT AND THE TRUTH OF GRADUAL ENLIGHTENMENT.'

Sometimes Buddha says you proceed gradually, by and by, in steps, and sometimes he says that enlightenment is sudden; that it cannot be divided into steps; it is more like a jump than like going on a staircase.

Both are true. Try to see. This is where the poetry of religion becomes something beyond logic. For logic this is difficult. The logic will say either/or -- and poetry says both/ and. The logic always gives you a choice -- either this or that. Either say the innermost being is empty or say it is full of being. It gives you alternatives. But the poetry of being says and/both -- it is empty of something and full of something.

You heat water; gradually it becomes hotter and hotter. Gradually it becomes hotter and hotter; of course, step by step... ninety degrees, ninety-one degrees, ninety-two degrees, ninety-nine degrees. Then it comes to the point of one hundred degrees -- the evaporating point. Then suddenly a jump... and the water disappears into vapour, it evaporates.

Now, both things are happening. If you ask me, 'Is evaporation a sudden jump?' I will say. 'Yes, it is a sudden jump,' because exactly at one hundred degrees the water takes a jump. The form changes; it is transfigured. It is no more water; it becomes a vapour. And it happens in a sudden jump.

But the process of being heated is gradual. Of course, the water is water at ninety degrees, at eighty degrees. Even at ninety-nine degrees it is still water -- hot, getting closer and closer to one hundred degrees. You can stop it at ninety-nine degrees. It will never evaporate, it will cool down again. Turn the fire off: the water will remain water, the sudden jump never happened -- but it was getting ready. But you cannot help water to suddenly jump from ninety degrees and become vapour. That's not possible.

Gradual and sudden are not contradictions. There is no question of choosing between them. Both are needed in their own ways.

Because of such contradictions, a logical mind thinks that religious people are mad. A logical mind cannot make any sense out of these things. It goes on saying that either this or that is possible; both are not possible.

For example, zen masters say that Buddha never uttered a single word, and at the same time they go on saying that he uttered five thousand and forty-eight truths. Which is true? Both are true. He uttered millions of words and still he could not utter a single word of truth.

THE MASTER FOSO HOYEN SAID:... ARE NOT ALL THESE YEA-SAYINGS?

'BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, YOKA -- ANOTHER ENLIGHTENED MASTER -- IN THE "SONG OF ENLIGHTENMENT" SAYS THERE ARE NO BEINGS AND NO BUDDHAS -- SAGES ARE SEA-BUBBLES, AND GREAT MINDS ARE ONLY FLICKERINGS OF LIGHTNING. ARE NOT ALL THESE NAY-SAYINGS?'

Now, Yoka is a follower of Buddha, a disciple of Buddha, a lover of Buddha. Still he says that THERE ARE NO BEINGS AND NO BUDDHAS and SAGES ARE SEA-BUBBLES.

And this Yoka was worshipping every morning, every evening; bowing down at the stone buddha of his temple. And at the same time singing in his 'Song of Enlightenment' that sages are sea-bubbles.

What does it mean? What does he mean? If sages are sea-bubbles then stop praising Buddha, praying to Buddha, touching his feet, bowing down -- stop all this nonsense.

But if you ask Yoka, he will say, 'I have learned this -- that sages are sea-bubbles and buddhas don't exist -- from this man Gautam Buddha, so I have to pay my respects. This understanding has come to me through him. He indicated the path.'

It happened once, a zen master was celebrating his master's birthday. The master had died. Somebody asked him, Why are you celebrating? -- because as far as I know, the master denied you. He never accepted you as his disciple. You tried long, that I know. You tried again and again, that I know, but every time you were refused. You were never initiated by him. So why are you celebrating his birthday? Traditionally it is to be celebrated only by the accepted disciples.'

The master laughed and he said, 'Precisely because he refused me, I celebrate. Now I can understand his compassion. If he had accepted me, I may have become just an imitator. Because he threw me into myself continuously, by and by I stood on my own feet. By and by I dropped the desperate search to cling to somebody else. He helped me. He was my master. In his rejection he accepted me.'

But this is illogical. But still, if you look through the eyes of a poet, through the eyes of a lover, you can understand it. Intellectually it will be difficult, but if you are intelligent it is a simple fact.

Sometimes, to deny is to give.

Sometimes, to reject is to accept.

Sometimes, not to help is the only way to help.

'BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, YOKA, IN THE "SONG OF ENLIGHTENMENT" SAYS THERE ARE NO BEINGS AND NO BUDDHAS -- SAGES ARE SEA-BUBBLES, AND GREAT MINDS ARE ONLY FLICKERINGS OF LIGHTNING. ARE NOT ALL THESE NAY-SAYINGS?'

The master is telling his audience that Buddha says something which looks like a yes-saying; and then his disciple, Yoka, says something which looks absolutely negative, a nay-saying....

'OH MY DISCIPLES, IF YOU SAY YEA, YOU DENY YOKA, AND IF YOU SAY NAY, YOU CONTRADICT BUDDHA. IF BUDDHA WERE HERE WITH YOU, HOW WOULD HE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?

'IF WE KNEW WHERE TO STAND WE WOULD QUESTION BUDDHA EVERY MORNING AND GREET HIM EVERY NIGHT.'

Look at the contradiction: WE WOULD QUESTION BUDDHA EVERY MORNING AND GREET HIM EVERY NIGHT. That is the quality of a real enquirer. He enquires with deep love, reverence. He does not enquire out of his knowledge; he enquires out of his living problems. The very crisis of life creates his enquiry. He is not bogus. He does not ask a question because he has read a book and the question has arisen. He asks because his life has created a problem.

And when he asks, he has nothing inside him -- no prejudice, no concept. He asks with the purity of the heart, like an innocent child. He does not ask to be convinced about something; he is already convinced. He does not ask in order to. argue, to debate, to discuss. He asks to know. He asks to understand.

'IF WE KNEW WHERE TO STAND...'

The whole point is, if you know where to stand, if you have come to an unwavering state of your mind, only then is right questioning possible. If you are trembling inside, if you are wavering inside, then you cannot ask the right question.

The right question comes only to a mind which has come to a state of unwavering, a certain tranquillity. Out of that silence, right questioning arises.

One day I was reading about a man who went to his doctor, and the doctor examined his hands; they were trembling. The doctor said, 'My god! You are drinking too much! Your whole blood system has been poisoned. Almost alcohol is running in your veins instead of blood. You are drinking too much.'

The man said, 'No, I can hardly drink, because almost the whole thing is spilt when I take hold of the glass... almost the whole thing is spilt. I can hardly drink.'

If you are wavering inside, the whole intelligence is spilt. Intelligence becomes a reservoir if you are unwavering.

Always remember not to cooperate with the inner wavering, not to help it. Don't give it your energy. Remain indifferent to it -- a little aloof, far away -- and by and by you will see that the wavering becomes less and less and less. And if you remain indifferent and don't get involved and identified with it, one day comes when suddenly you are in a moment of total stillness. Then you stand on the right ground. Then you stand in your being. Then for the first time you become capable of standing.

'IF WE KNEW WHERE TO STAND WE WOULD QUESTION BUDDHA EVERY MORNING AND GREET HIM EVERY NIGHT.'

Morning and night are symbolic. The morning means the beginning of activity. When the mind is active, we will ask Buddha every morning. The night means inactivity, passivity, receptivity. And when the mind is passive, non-active, we will greet Buddha.

Active and passive.... If your mind is active and you are standing unwavering, you can ask a right question which can be helpful. And if your mind is unwavering, soon you will see the inactive phase coming, where you will greet and praise Buddha, where you will bow down and respect the man who has helped you to come out of a crisis.

'BUT AS WE DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STAND I WILL LET YOU INTO A SECRET: WHEN I SAY THIS IS SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A YEA-SAYING. WHEN I SAY THIS IS NOT SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A NAY-SAYING.'

Remember, all yea-sayings are not yea-sayings. If your mind is negative, your yea-saying will also be negative. And all nay-sayings are not negative. If your mind is positive, your nay-saying will also eventually turn to be positive.

Jesus tells one story. One father asked his elder son to go to the garden and work there. The son said, 'Yes father, I will go,' but he never went. His yes-saying was not exactly yes-saying. He was cunning. He was false, inauthentic.

The father asked his younger son. He said, 'No, I don't have any time and I will not go,' but then he thought over it and went. His no-saying was not a no-saying.

The real thing is what is inside you, not what you say. Buddha says there is no god, but you cannot find more divine a person anywhere else. H. G. Wells has written that Gautam Buddha is the most godless and the most godlike man of human history. He says there is no god -- but don't think this is a nay-saying.

Look at Buddha. He is so positively one with god that to say there is god will be wrong. That will create a division. He says there is no god. Don't be bothered by his words. Look at him, watch him, and you will see a god walking on earth. In your questioning whether there is god, you have already missed. You should have watched. God was before you.

Buddha goes on saying there is no god, and he never means it. He simply shatters your mind, hammers your mind. He is simply saying no to your prejudice, not to god.

One day it happened, a man came in the morning and Buddha said there is no god. And another man came in the afternoon and Buddha said yes there is. And then a third man came in the evening and Buddha kept silent and didn't answer this way or that.

His disciple, Ananda, became very puzzled, because he was present the whole time. He said, 'I will not be able to sleep tonight unless you explain it to me. What do you mean? To one person you say no, to another you say yes. They asked the same question. And to the third, who had also asked the same question, you kept silent, you didn't answer at all. What do you mean?'

Buddha said, 'The first man, to whom I said no, was a theist. He has a concept of god, an ideology about it. I had to shatter that ideology so that he can be freed from his bondage and can become available to truth. I had to say no. To help him to know god, I had to say no to his ideology that god exists, otherwise he would remain confined within words.

'The man to whom I said yes, there is god, is an atheist. He has a belief that there is no god. I had to shatter him. Everybody has to be brought out of his belief system so that experience becomes possible.

'To the third person, who is neither, who is a true seeker with no prejudice, I kept quiet. I told him, "Be silent. These questions are futile, meaningless. Just be silent and you will know." And he understood, and he bowed down and went away with deep understanding.'

So all yea-sayings are not yea-sayings. All nay-sayings are not nay-sayings.

Let me tell you one anecdote:

"Over a glass of beer, Johnson said to Smith, 'My psychiatrist keeps talking about something he calls ambivalence, and I'm darned if I can understand it.'

'No problem,' said Smith. 'To be ambivalent is to feel contradictory emotions -- to be both pleased and displeased with something, to both love and hate someone.'

'That's what he says too,' said Johnson, 'but I just don't see how you can experience two contradictory emotions simultaneously.'

'Here is an example then. Suppose you had just bought a brand-new cadillac for ten thousand dollars, and suppose the very first day you owned it, its brakes failed and it went over a cliff a mile high. How would you feel?'

'I would feel terrible.'

'But suppose your mother-in-law was the only one in the car at the time. Then?'"

Your yes and your no do not mean much; they are ambivalent. Sometimes when you want to say no, you say yes just to hide the no. Sometimes when you want to say yes, you don't say yes, you say no, just to show your ego, your strength, your power. No gives a certain power. Whenever you say no, you feel powerful. Whenever you say yes, you feel a little humiliated.

Watch. Your yes may be hiding a no, your no may be hiding a yes. When you cry and weep, it is not necessary that you are not smiling within, because the reverse happens every day -- you smile, and you are simply hiding your tears.

But if you watch people and don't get caught in their words, you will find immediately what is happening. The truth cannot be hidden. If somebody is smiling just to hide his tears, don't listen to his smile. Just watch him, and immediately you will see -- behind the smile there are tears ready to come out. Whenever somebody says no, just watch the person. Watch the whole person. There must be indications which will show that deep down he is saying yes.

And always listen to the depth and don't be worried what people say. The world can become very very beautiful, and life can become really a celebration if you stop listening to people's words and you start listening to people's hearts. Then you will not be deceived.

It happened:

"A woman had died, and the funeral cortege was being set up for the wife of the dour Sandy Mactavish, who was dressed somberly in the appropriate black.

The funeral director said to him in a respectful whisper, 'And you will be sitting in the lead car with your mother-in-law.'

Sandy frowned, 'With my mother-in-law?'

'Yes, of course.'

'Is that necessary?'

'It is essential. The bereaved husband and the bereaved mother -- the two closest survivors together.'

Sandy turned to look at the large and sobbing figure of his mother-in-law and said, 'Well, alright then, but I tell you right now that this is going to spoil the pleasure of the occasion."'

Dressed in sombre black appropriate for the occasion -- but deep down happy that the wife has died.

Just watch people, and you will be able to see that their yes does not mean yes and their no does not mean no. People are contradictory.

The same happens to a buddha also, but for different reasons. You are amphibolous; that's why your statements do not mean what they tend to show. A buddha is contradictory because he is trying to bring a truth into language which comprehends both the extremes in it.

You are contradictory because your inner being is split. A buddha is contradictory not because his inner being is split -- his inner being has become one -- but because he is trying to bring a truth which is beyond duality into language. He has to contradict.

In the upanishads they say god is near, nearer than the nearest, and farther than the farthest. Because god is both -- the near and the far. He has to be both because he is all. God is both life and death. He has to be both. God is both devil and god. He has to be both.

The english word 'devil' is very beautiful. It comes from a root, a sanskrit root, 'deva'. From the same root 'deva', comes 'divine'. And from the same root comes 'devil'. 'Devil' and 'divine' come from the same root, from the single word 'dev'. Devil is also divine, and the divine must have something of the devil in it.

Christianity has cut the duality in two separate, clearcut parts. Devil is fighting god and god is fighting devil. But in the Fast we have never split reality because reality cannot be split. Devil is god and god is devil. It is the same energy expressing through opposite polarities.

When a buddha talks, he has to use contradictions.

'WHEN I SAY THIS IS SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A YEA-SAYING. WHEN I SAY THIS IS NOT SO, PERHAPS IT IS NOT A NAY-SAYING.

'TURN TO THE EAST AND SEE THE HOLY WESTERN LAND; FACE SOUTH TC SEE THE NORTHERN STAR.'

Paradoxes... but truth can only be expressed through paradoxes. Your inner fullness can only be expressed by emptiness, and your real life is possible only through death. Resurrection happens only after crucifixion. If you really want to be alive, be as if you are dead. If you really want to be intelligent, live as if you are an idiot.

Lao Tzu has said, 'The whole world is wise except me. I am an idiot.'

The word 'idiot' is beautiful. It comes from the same root as the word 'idiom'. Idiom is a personal style. Idiom means personal style and an idiot means one who lives his own way; an idiot means one who is doing his own thing and is not worried about the world. One who is not an imitator is an idiot. It has nothing to do with stupidity.

Saint Francis used to call himself an idiot, and Jesus was also known in his country as an idiot. Feodor Dostoevsky has written a book, 'The Idiot'. It is worth reading. The book is about a very simple man... very humble, unique. But because he is humble and unique, the crowd thinks he is an idiot.

If you try to live your life in your own way, you will look like an idiot. The crowd will not respect you. It respects only masks, false personalities, not authentic people. If you really want to be intelligent, be like an idiot. And if you want to be an idiot, collect knowledge. Be a pundit and then you will be an idiot.

Try to go deep into these paradoxes. The whole religion is expressed in the idiom of paradox.

'TURN TO THE EAST AND SEE THE HOLY WESTERN LAND...'

Because if you want to see the holy western land, ordinarily you will turn to the west. Why turn to the east? But this is how it happens in real life. Turn to the opposite polarity.

Have you watched an old clock? The pendulum goes on moving -- from right to left, from left to right. When it is going to the left, what is really happening inside the dock? When it is going to the left, it is gathering momentum to go to the right. When it is going to the right, it is already getting ready to go to the left. To go to the right it goes to the left. To go to the left it goes to the right.

In the day you work hard; then in the night you have a deep sleep. Work hard if you want deep sleep. Contradictions. The ordinary logic will say to practise relaxation the whole day if you want good sleep. Rehearse it. Lie down on the bed, remain on the bed the whole day, because if you practise it the whole day, of course it is going to be better in the night. It is ordinary logic.

That is what is happening in western countries. Insomnia has become common. And the reason? The reason has nothing to do with sleep; it has something to do with labour. If you don't work hard, you cannot move into sleep. If you don't sleep deeply, the next morning you will not be able to work hard.

Life exists in contradictions. If somebody comes to me and says that he has trouble with sleep, I say to forget about sleep. Run four miles in the morning and four miles in the evening. Sleep is not the problem. You must be relaxing too much; then sleep is not needed.

Always remember that deeper down all contradictions meet and are part of one whole.

People come to me and they want to become silent, they want to move into a state of thoughtlessness. I tell them to do hard work, cathartic meditations -- dynamic, kundalini... jump, move, shake.

They say, 'But we want to be silent. Can't we just sit and be silent just like Buddha?'

You can sit, but you will not be silent; inside, all turmoil will go fast. Rather, do the opposite -- jump, run, jog, dance. Exert yourself, exhaust yourself, and after that the pendulum starts moving to the opposite end. Silence is possible only if you are exhausted. Then sit silently. Then relaxation happens easily.

Always remember this basic law. Otherwise, if you look at and follow ordinary logic, Aristotelean logic, then you will miss life. Just move to the opposite.

If you want to be really sane, be capable of being insane, be capable of going into craziness. That is what I teach. Be crazy if you really want to be sane. If you try too much to be sane, you are going to be crazy. All too-sane people become crazy. They have to become crazy. They try hard to remain sane -- that very effort helps the pendulum to move to the opposite side.

Don't try to be sane and you will be sane. Whenever there is an opportunity to be crazy, relax and go crazy. Don't miss any opportunity. If people are dancing, dance, go crazy. Wherever you can find an opportunity to be crazy, be crazy -- and I can guarantee you will never become crazy; you will remain sane. You will have a sanity which cannot be disturbed by anybody, which cannot be disturbed by any circumstance.

Yes, Foso Hoyen is right: