Om Aha Mani Foundation
Two Halves do not make a whole, they make a quarter.
Co-dependency means that we feel a lack, a hole inside of ourselves and that we depend on other people, friends, partners, family, to fill that hole. Because we depend on other people to fill this hole - to give us our love, our happiness, our sense of being a person - we do not spend our time trying to become independent - trying to fill that hole for ourselves. We become stuck in a cycle of finding people to give us a reflection of ourselves to keep our emptyness, depression, and negativity at arms length.
We become dependent on others for our life energy. We become a victim of this dependency. As others begin to feel this dependency as 'clinging' they begin to feel uncomfortable - stifled, cramped - and they move away, they leave us - we frighten people away because we are too dependent on them - we lean to much and they run away. In this instance, two halves do not make a whole - they make a quarter. We feel destroyed, the other feels destroyed. The co-dependent relationship is stifling, exhausting and an energetic drain.
To break this cycle of co-dependency, we need to become much more whole inside. We need to acknowledge that we have an emptiness in our lives that nobody else on Earth can fill - we need to rediscover ourselves and learn to love and respect ourselves as uniques expressions of existence. To do this requires a conscious effort to become independent - to live our own lives. To love the life we lead.
"The Beloved that we look for in the world is none other than ourselves."
- Paramahansa Yogananda.
When we become more whole, then we begin to meet others of a like mind and soul. As we fill our own lives with the things that we enjoy and love, as we learn to enjoy our independence, and not see it as a burden, then our lives begin to flower and we begin to attract other flowering people.
We may enjoy romantic love with another whole person and then this partnership is truely of a healthy and good nature.
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