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Commentary upon the Great Way
by Zen Master Biscuit
Here is a biscuit
There is a biscuit
What is here is there
What is there is here also
So both here and there
Are according to the MOVEMENT OF THE biscuit
For verily in the beginning was
the biscuit and from It came forth all things so that in the end all things
could evolve to that wonderful moment when the great eternal one could both
offer and receive biscuits in a variety of civilized and social situations
throughout all space and time continuum – and most importantly with a variety
of cream fillings.
Upon the cross Crispy died for
the biscuit. Forgive them Lord they know not the shortbread. And after the three
wise men had offered up all the three gifts did a little later upon some time a
Garibaldi was also offered by Zen Master Biscuit himself.
When Caeser was on the road to
Jerusalem did not he happen upon Zen Master Biscuit who immediately reached into
his satchel for a jammie dodger? Is this not the way. Words. Words. Words. The
way of the digestive is beyond words.
Split butter, flour, and sugar
infinitely far apart and there will be no biscuit. And such is the nature of all
activity in the vast chittam. The Universe is a huge biscuit factory and we as
humans must play our parts in the great scheme of the custard cream.
What is tea without biscuit?
What is biscuit without tea? Offer me a twig, a flower, a sip of water and I
shall say “fair do to you Arjuna.” Ah! But offer me a biscuit and the gates
to heaven shall be unlocked for you and all your children to come and their
children and their children’s children. For the power of the Bourbon is
infinite. And it is not for us mortal folk to speculate too much upon the source
of all biscuits without devotion unto the dunk.
For within movement of the dunk
is the dance of the dunking. Once dunked then even the rich tea shall dissolve
into the divine bliss of the café instant
Doest thou not recall how Rumi
met Shems? Did not Shems immediately reach into his satchel for a morning
coffee? Wast it not served with devotion at 10.30am?
Did not the Buddha himself
munch? One afternoon he appeared holding a Jacobs cracker between forefinger and
thumb. Only one student understood and rushed off to purchase a bit of Danish
Look at the Lily’s! Are they not similar to biscuits? When Atisha was in Tibet did he not write in his own blood upon a marble tablet:
”The End is the beginning
All things pass that arise
Tathagata ! Devotion! Mystery! and…
A cup of sugar
Mix and then cook in a pre-heated oven at gas mark 5 for 20 minutes until golden
Remove and place upon a cooling tray.
When ready serve with hot tea or coffee.”
I tell you brothers and
sisters, the bowl may float upstream, but the way of the biscuit is like the
middle path only slightly different upon a few points especially those bits that
don’t mention biscuits.
For those that understand the
subtleties of the biscuit then the way is clear and no further exposition is
So ends the first sutra.
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