The last question

Osho,

Question 3

I AM A POLACK. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT POLACKS DON'T HAVE ANY INTELLIGENCE.

Vedam,

I ALSO WONDER why people think that Polacks don't have intelligence. They have a different kind of intelligence, that is true -- so different, a unique kind of intelligence. Nobody else in the world has that.

I have heard about the Polack Pope:

He was aboard a plane and the pilot said, "It is unfortunate that out of the four engines one has stopped working, but there is no need to worry. Three engines are more than enough to take us to our destination. The only thing is we will be three hours late."

After fifteen minutes he said, "Sorry to interrupt you again: the second engine has stopped, but no need to worry. Two engines are still more than enough and we will complete our journey, but now we will be six hours late."

And after half an hour he announced again, "Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to announce that the third engine has also failed, but still there is no need to panic. One engine is enough to take us to the destination, but now we will be nine hours late."

And after just five minutes he said, "If you want to say your prayers you can say them, because the last engine has stopped?"

And there was great panic and chaos, but the Polack Pope was sitting silently. The lady sitting by his side ying and weeping and screaming He said "What is the matter? Why are you so worried? At the most we will be twelve hours late!"

This is pure intelligence! It is mathematics, nothing else! Who says Polacks don't have intelligence?

I have read Bertrand Russell's Principia Mathematica -- that's nothing compared to the Pope's mathematics!

Watkins walked into a Hollywood talent agent's office. He placed his suitcase on the agent's desk, opened it, and thirty mice scampered out, carrying little musical instruments.

In seconds, they were positioned as an orchestra and with a snap of Watkins' fingers, the mice began playing exactly like Benny Goodman. Watkins snapped his fingers and this time they sounded like Guy Lombardo. Watkins snapped his fingers again, and the rodents played a medly of Paul Anka tunes.

"Well," asked Watkins, "what do you think?"

"Can't use them," replied the agent.

"What do you mean, you can't use them? What's the matter with this act?"

"To tell you the truth," said the agent, "they don't play half bad, but the drummer looks too Polish!"

There are people who don't understand the Polacks and they go on spreading rumors that they have no intelligence. I am not anti-Polack. I love them, I enjoy them! I can see their intelligence is totally different!

Kyacki's son had been acting a little strange lately, so Kyacki took him to a psychiatrist.

"Tell me, son," questioned the shrink, "how many wheels does an auto have?"

"Four. "

"Very good," said the doctor. "Now what is it a cow has four of that a woman has two?"

"Legs."

"And what does your father have that your mother likes most?"

"Money."

The psychiatrist turned to Kyacki and said, "You don't have to worry about him -- he's smart!"

"He sure is!" said the Polack. "I missed the last two questions myself!"

Just a matter of different intelligence! Who says they don't have any intelligence? Vedam, don't be worried. Enjoy the intelligence that God has given to you!

Banducci, Sullivan and Piwalski, traveling together in Mexico, got drunk and killed a Mexican. All three were sentenced to the electric chair.

First they sat Banducci down and asked him if he had any last words. "I am a dentist," said the Italian, "and I will care for everyone in the village for twenty-five years if you will let me go."

The authorities refused and the executioner proceeded to carry out the sentence. He pulled the switch and nothing happened.

"By law," said the executioner, "the Italian is a free man, because the electric chair did not work."

Then the Irishman sat down. The same question was asked. "I am a doctor," said Sullivan, "and I would care for the villagers for twenty-five years in exchange for my freedom." Again the answer was no. The switch was pulled and nothing happened. He went free.

Then Piwalski sat down. He was asked if he had any last words.

"I am a graduate in electrical engineering from Texas A & M," said the Polack, "and if you put that white wire in that hole, and the red wire in that hole..."

And who says that Polacks don't have intelligence?! Just sheer nonsense! They have intelligence -- in fact, only they have intelligence!

In Poland, disorder -- or what is known as the Polish mess -- is referred to by Poles as Polski balagan.

It is said that Jimmy Carter, Leonid Brezhnev, and Polish party chief Edward Gierek met God. He allowed them one question each.

"Is it true," asked Jimmy Carter, "America will go communist? "

"Yes," answered the Lord, "but not in your lifetime."

"Will the Chinese take over Moscow?" asked Brezhnev.

"Yes," replied the Almighty, "but not in your lifetime."

"Will disciplined labor ever replace Polski balagan?" asked Gierek.