Chapter 5: A play with the devil

Question 5



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  The fifth question:

Question 5


Sukh Deva,

SEX has nothing to do with age; you can be six hundred and it will still be there. It has something to do with awareness, not with age. Remember, just by growing old you don't grow up. You may be sixty physiologically, and you may be just nearabout twelve, thirteen, or at the most fourteen psychologically, hence this hang-up. A person who is psychologically fourteen is bound to be haunted by sex, and people are stuck at somewhere near thirteen, fourteen.

The average mental age of humanity is twelve. It is unbelievable that people get stuck so early. What happens, and why at just nearabout twelve, thirteen, fourteen? -- because that is the time when sex ripens in you, and no society wants you to go beyond that point. Every society wants you to remain sexually starved, because a sexually starved person is very useful for the society -- for this ill society. A sexually starved person can be channelized in any direction very easily because he is boiling within. You can make him go after money: then money will be his sex, then his whole sexual energy which is starved will move towards money. Then money will be his beloved, his God, and for his whole life he will run after money. And naturally, sex will haunt him because money cannot satisfy it. You can gather as much money as you want, but how can it satisfy your basic urge? The society has diverted your urge, has given you a diversion; it has given you a toy.

And that's how we start from the very beginning: the child is crying, he wants milk, and he is given a pacifier! And the poor child starts sucking the pacifier and thinks that it is the mother's breast. How mean can we be? This is sheer meanness! You are being very political with the poor child, diplomatic, cunning. The poor child has no understanding yet to make a distinction between the pacifier and the breast; he has been deceived. Now if later on this child one day disrespects his mother, hates his mother, there is no wonder in it.

You can go to any psychoanalyst and ask him, "What is the fundamental problem of every person?" and you will be surprised to know that he will not give you some name: neurosis, psychosis, schizophrenia, hysteria, et cetera, et cetera. If you ask him, "What is the fundamental problem of every psychologically disturbed person?" he will say, "the mother." But why the mother? -- because she was the first one who started deceiving the child. She was the first acquaintance of the child with the world, and he cannot trust anybody now. He cannot even trust his own mother, how can he trust anybody else? And when the child was crying and he wanted to be hugged... because a child needs warmth as much as milk, it is a very deep physiological need of the child.

Now it is a proven scientific fact that if a child is given all nourishment but no warmth of the body, he will shrink and die. Or even if he survives he will remain retarded, unhealthy for his whole life; something will be missing in him. He not only needs mother's milk, he needs the warmth of the mother's bosom, the warmth of the mother's body. That warmth is now understood to be absolutely fundamental, absolutely necessary.

But when the child is crying he cannot say, "Mum, I want to be hugged," because he has no language yet. But by crying he is saying, "Hug me, kiss me, caress me, let me come close to you." And he is given a teddy bear, or he is given some toy to be engaged with. He is being deceived from the very beginning: he wants something, he gets something else. That's how we go on distorting.

By the time a child is coming to sexual maturity we start giving him ambitions. We start telling him, "Come first in the university, come first in school -- come first! Wherever you are, whatsoever you are doing, you have to be the first." We start a great desire in his mind to be first anywhere he is; this is giving a new direction to his sexual energy.

The society is trying to divert his natural energies. We start telling him, "Unless you have a big car, a big house, much money in the bank, you are a failure." He starts running after big things. He may not need a big house. In fact a smaller house may be far more beautiful because it can be kept more clean, and his needs are not that much that he should have a big house of many, many rooms. But the idea has been implanted in his mind that "Unless you have a big house, very imposing, you are a failure." Now the big house becomes his symbol of fulfillment, money in the bank becomes his symbol of fulfillment -- but only symbols, empty. Deep down he is unfulfilled, deep down he is hankering. The deep consciousness is continuously telling him, "Be natural, let your natural energies flow in a natural, spontaneous way."


Why do you call it stupid? You are angry at it. Sex is not stupid -- you may be stupid! Sex is simply sex. You can be stupid with it, you can be intelligent with it; that is something about you, not about sex. And if you call it names, if you condemn, it will persist. You will be sixty, you will be seventy, you will be eighty -- it won't make any difference. In fact, the more weak your body will become, the more the repressed sex will explode on your conscious-

The big burly rapist broke into a Texas homestead when all the men were out on a cattle drive and raped all ten women living there -- all except an eighty-five-year-old great granma.

The victims lay around groaning in a state of chaos. The rapist lay in the corner exhausted and naked.

Old granny took her spectacles off her nose, put them on the nose of the rapist and cried, "Look around, big fella, and see if you missed anybody!"

Sukh Deva, it will persist; don't call it stupid. You are being stupid with it.

Accept it. It is a natural desire, a natural energy, the very fountain-source of all life. Yes, there are things beyond it, beautiful spaces beyond it. Sex brings joy and sex brings misery too. They are mixed with sex because sex is a mixture of the sky and the earth, body and soul; hence it brings both -- it gives you wings one moment, it cuts your wings another moment. One moment it is a great ecstasy, another moment you have fallen into a deep agony. One moment you are on the peak, the sunlit peak, another moment you are groaning in a dark valley. Sex is both.

But one has to learn the valleys and the peaks. And one has to learn by one's own experience, not by what others say, not by what I say. Your own experience of sex will make you free of it. I am not saying be free of it; and don't try to be free of it, otherwise you will never be free of it.

What I am saying is simply: freedom from sex is a consequence, a by-product. You cannot achieve it directly, it comes indirectly. You live it with deep playfulness, meditativeness, as a gift of God, and slowly slowly, seeing the peaks and the valleys again and again, a third point will arise in your being: the witness who witnesses the peak, who witnesses the valley. Slowly, slowly neither peaks are important nor valleys are important. Your consciousness has gone through a revolution, you have become more centered in the witnessing soul. That witnessing is BRAHMACHARYA, that witnessing brings real celibacy. It is not against sex, it is beyond sex.

Otherwise, it will go on haunting you to the very last moment. You will be dying and you will not be thinking of God, you will be thinking of sex. That's why the moment you die, immediately you are born -- not even minutes are lost, because you die with the idea of sex in your head. Here you immediately leave this body, and the desire to' enter into another body arises, because sex can be fulfilled r only through the body.

Down in sunny Mexico there lived an old aunt with four very pretty nieces.

One day Pancho Villa and his gang of revolutionary bandits broke into their house. Accosting them on the patio the brigand said, "This place is in our possession and you are in our power."

"We are helpless!" one of the girls exclaimed, "and we must submit, but please spare poor old aunt."

"Shut up!" snapped the aunt, "War is war!"

It has nothing to do with age, it-has something to do with gaining a higher awareness, a deeper awareness.

Become a witness, Sukh Deva, and don't call it stupid. Become intelligent, see, watch, observe. Whatsoever is given to you must have a reason, a rhyme in it. Whatsoever you have got must have something of the beyond in it. You are only able to see the lower part of the ladder because your eyes are not open and your being is not conscious; hence you see only the lower part of the ladder, sex. The higher part of the ladder is SAMADHI. If you can see the whole ladder, all the rungs of it, you will be surprised: that sex is the door to SAMADHI.

The very idea of SAMADHI was born because of those few rare people who were able to attain to total orgasmic joy through sex. They became aware that there is something in sex which is not sexual at all. In a deep orgasmic state time disappears, mind disappears, ego disappears. Now these things have nothing to do with sex. And because these three things disappear, great joy arises. That arising of joy has nothing to do with sex either: it is because sex helped, became a context for the disappearance of the ego, mind and time.

The first experimenters -- their names are lost, it must have been thousands of years before -- the first tantrikas, the first people who attained to SAMADHI through sex, they watched, meditated, and they saw one thing: sex is only a physiological triggering of a certain process which can be triggered without sex too, which can be triggered only by meditation. There is no need to go into sex. Once they had known that the process could be triggered by other means also -- by Yoga methods, by Tao methods, by Tantra methods, by Sufi methods -- once they knew that the same state could be attained, of no ego, no mind, no time, without going into sex, they had found the key. But the key was found only through groping in sex.

Sex has been the very source of religion, and the sexual experience has been the first experience of SAMADHI. Don't call it stupid, please. Go into it lovingly, playfully, meditatively. Try to understand, because liberation comes through understanding and in no other way.


Next: Chapter 5: A play with the devil, Question 6


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