Chapter 6: I am a living light

Question 6



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The sixth question:

Question 6


Satya Prakash,

THERE is no right way to God. There are ways and ways, but there is no RIGHT way to God. There are ways, but don't seek THE way. The search for THE way creates fanatics. And all ways are His, so don't be too worried about the RIGHT way.

And how can you decide what is right? You don't know anything about what is right and what is wrong. If you already knew what was right there would be no need to search.

You must be carrying a certain idea in your head. You must be carrying an a priori criterion, a conclusion given by others to you, and you must be judging according to that criterion. That's why you go on missing me. And rather than a clarity happening to you, you are becoming more and more confused.

My own observation is that people who come with a conclusion already with them always become confused when they listen to me, because there is a constant struggle between what I am saying and their conclusion. Between these two they are crushed.

People who come here without any conclusion immediately start attaining to clarity.

So that is what is wrong with you: you must be carrying a hidden conclusion -- Hindu, Christian, Buddhist, Jain. In a way you have already arrived, deep down in your heart you think you know. Now the only question is to find somebody who can support your conclusion. You are not in search of a Master, you are in search of somebody who can strengthen your ego, who can strengthen your knowledge, who can supply you with more information supportive to what you already believe.

And because I don't support any knowledge -- I destroy all kinds of knowledge, I go on pulling away brick by brick all that you know slowly, slowly, until one day you find the whole earth beneath your feet has disappeared -- hence the confusion. Listening to me, you have become attached to me too, and you are not yet detached from your old conclusions. Hence you are pulled apart in two directions, opposite directions, and because of those opposite directions you are in a confusion.

Either you have to drop listening to me or you have to drop your conclusions. If you drop listening to me you will have a kind of certainty, not clarity but certainty; a kind of certainty -- the stupid kind. Because you don't know much, you can think that you know enough. A little knowledge is dangerous because it can give you the feeling that you have arrived.

An intelligent person knows that one is always arriving but never arrives, that life remains a pilgrimage, an eternal pilgrimage. One is approaching closer and closer to God every day, but this is an eternal process. One cannot say one day that "I have arrived." When somebody says "I have arrived", he is simply saying that all his resources are finished, that he is no more interested in the pilgrimage, that he is no more interested in the journey, that he is tired, that he is weary, that he wants to settle.

The real seeker goes on and on. And the joy of the journey is so infinite, who bothers to arrive? And the most stupid person is one who has not even taken a single step on the way and still has the idea that he knows what is right and what is wrong.

If you drop listening to me you will have a kind of certainty: the certainty that ignorance gives, the certainty that false knowledge, borrowed knowledge gives, the certainty that will make you more and more stupid, more and more unintelligent.

Or you can drop your conclusions and come along with me. All the certainty that you have will disappear. I cannot promise you any certainty. I can promise you only infinite uncertainty, but clarity will arise, your mind will be unclouded. And in that clarity is truth, in that clarity you are able to see what life is. You may not be able to come to any conclusion -- because life is vast and cannot be reduced to any conclusion -- but you will be able to enjoy the bliss of existence. You may not be able to make a theory out of it, a system of thought out of it, but great poetry will arise in you, and great dance and great love and great compassion. Your life will become a rejoicing.

I don't promise any philosophy of life, I only promise a new way, a new style of life.

You say, "I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO YOU FOR YEARS TO FIND OUT THE RIGHT WAY TO GOD." You seem to have arrived at right and wrong about almost everything, even about God. How do you know that God is? What certainty have you got about God? You have already decided that God is; now you are searching for the way?

God is not a hypothesis. You cannot start with God, you can start only with an open heart, an enquiry into what is. You cannot call it God, you can simply call it an enquiry into whatsoever is: "I don't know what it is, God or no God, but I want to enquire." Then you don't seek a way to God, then you seek a totally different thing. You sc ck methods of enquiry, not ways to God. And I can teach you methods of enquiry.

Meditation, all kinds of meditations, are methods of enquiry, not ways to God. Yes, if you go on enquiring, one day God is revealed, but that is not for you to decide in the beginning. It happens one day when your heart is really clear, with no clouds in your inner sky. That which is revealed is called by a few people, God; by a few others, no-God; by a few, truth; by a few others, beauty; by a few, paradise; by a few others, NIRVANA. And there have been many who have not called it anything at all, they have remained completely silent about it.

One of the greatest philosophers of this age, Ludwig Wittgenstein, says -- one of his most important aphorisms "That which cannot be said should not be said." Many have followed this dictum down the ages. Buddha has not said anything for or against God. He must have been asked thousands of times, but he would never say anything about it.

Whenever I come across somebody asking Buddha about God in the Buddhist scriptures I always remember a small anecdote....

A husband came home very late in the night. The night was almost gone, it was three o'clock in the morning. He entered his wife's room, and was very much shocked, because his wife was in the bed with some stranger. Before he could say anything -- because he was so shocked that for a moment he could not find the right words -- the wife asked, "Where have you been? Why are you so late?"

And the husband asked, "First tell me, who is this man in the bed? "

And the wife said, "Don't change the subject!"

Buddha always changes the subject -- whenever you ask about God he talks about something else, immediately. He simply by-passes the subject. Why? -- because he does not want to say yes or no. His respect of the ultimate is so deep that to say yes would be wrong, to say no would be wrong, because yes gives a limitation as much as no gives a limitation. No word can be unlimited, each word becomes a limitation. He never defines, because all definitions limit. He is so respectful of the ultimate, towards the ultimate, that he simply does not talk about it. He will not even say this much, that "Nothing can be said about it."

Once he was asked, "If you don't want to say anything about God, why don't you say at least that nothing can be said about it? -- because that's what the seers of the Upanishads have been saying: 'Nothing can be said about it. God is ANIRVACHANIYA, unspeakable, indefinable, ineffable.' Why can't you say this much, that nothing can be said about Him?"

And Buddha said, "Even to say that would be saying something about Him."

You see the delicate point? Even to say that would be saying something about Him. If nothing can be said about Him you have said something already, you have given a definition already. If you say He is indefinable, then this is your definition. If you say He is unspeakable, you have spoken. There has been a long tradition of many mystics who have simply kept quiet, who have not uttered a single word.

But you have come here, Satya Prakash, with a certain idea, conclusion. You already believe in God, now you are searching for the way. Your name makes me suspect that you may belong to one of the most fanatical religious sects that has developed in this country in the last century, Arya Samaj, because this name, Satya Prakash, is usually used by she Arya Samajis, the followers of Dayananda. It is one of the most fanatical sects that has evolved in this liberal country. It is almost as fanatical as the Mohammedans.

Now in the Indian parliament a bill is going to come named 'Freedom for Religion' or 'Freedom of Religion'. It is supported by Arya Samajis all over the country; they are the only supporters of it. The name is just the opposite of what it really means to do: if it becomes a law then it will become impossible for anybody in India to change his religion.

It is called 'Freedom of Religion', and it will destroy all freedom of choice. It is basically against the Christians who convert Hindus; no conversion should be allowed. Christians are against it; they are demonstrating all over the country, making resolutions that it should not be made a law. Only Christians are against it, and only Arya Samajis are for it, and nobody else is saying anything else -- and both are in the same boat. Arya Samajis are interested that no Hindu should ever go out of the Hindu fold, and the Christians are interested that as many Hindus as they can convert into Christians, they should convert, by fair or foul means.

Satya Prakash, you may be an Arya Samaji. And my experience of different religious people is that the Arya Samajis seem to be the most closed;Jains, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs are not so closed. Arya Samaj is a reaction against the Mohammedans and the Christians. In fact Arya Samaj should not be counted as an Indian religion at all; it is a reaction against Christianity and Mohammedanism, and reactions always reflect the original source. It is like the Christians and like the Mohammedans: very closed, adamant, stubborn.

If you are not an Arya Samaji, very good. If you are, please drop that. Then only can you understand what I am saying to you, and only then will it not be confusing. Otherwise, you will become crazy.


This is wrong with you: that you are listening with all kinds of prejudices. Listen with no mind, listen neither for nor against. I am not saying to believe whatsoever I say, no, not at all. There is no need to believe, there is no need to disbelieve either; simply listen. Why can't you simply listen?

And there is a beauty in truth. If you listen silently without a for or against, if truth is uttered, it immediately stirs your heart. A dance arises in your being, you start feeling in deep sympathy. And finally you become so deeply attuned with it that there comes no time to think about whether to believe in it or not. If it is not truth then no bell rings in your heart, you remain unaffected by it, but no decision is needed on the part of the mind.

And one thing more: my whole effort here IS to confuse you, because unless I confuse you I cannot create clarity. You are settled, you are certain. I have to shake you, shock you, I have to confuse you; only then will you start seeking and searching for new planes of clarity.

So in a way this is good, this is not wrong. It is good that you are confused. Something IS happening -- your foundations are being shaken.

They were seated on adjoining stools in a dimly-lighted cocktail lounge. "Honey," he said, "what about forgetting your inhibitions and spending a quiet week-end with me in Atlantic City?"

"See here," she answered, "after an exhaustive perusal of the corpus of documented evidence garnered by research on heterosexuality as applied to contemporary sociological mores, and in view of the innate predisposition to the more exotic manifestations of concupiscence evident in your demeanor, a categorical negative is my answer."

"But honey," he said, "I just don't get it."

"That's what I mean," she answered.

That's what I mean! If you are confused, it is a good sign, it shows intelligence. Only an intelligent person can be confused. A stupid person cannot be confused; you cannot shake him, you cannot shock him. He is ABSOLUTELY certain. Remember, only fools are absolutely certain.

Mulla Nasrudin was saying to one of his disciples, "Never be absolutely certain because only fools are absolutely certain."

And the disciple asked, "Mulla, are you absolutely certain about it?"

And he said, "Yes!"

An intelligent person is always available to hesitation. The more intelligent you are, the more easily you become available to hesitations, because each hesitation is a new beginning, a new search, a new enquiry.

But if you have come here not to be confused, if you have come here to gain more certainty -- not clarity but certainty -- if you have come here to attain to more knowledge so that you can become more wise, so that you can attain to God more easily, more certainly, so that not only in this life but in the afterlife also you have a guarantee, an insurance, if you have come to find a certain catechism, certain principles, fixed theories, dogmas, then you have come to a wrong place.

I am not a scripture, I am a living light. You can learn how to see by being with me, but I will not give you commandments. And commandments never help anyway, because life goes on changing and principles are always out-of-date.

A devoted husband commissioned a Frenchman to paint his wife's portrait. She was quite nervous during the first sitting and said to the painter, "I realize I am not young any more. I would like a good likeness, but please paint me with sympathy."

When the portrait was completed, the husband gave a party and invited a hundred friends to the unveiling. As the cover was removed, there was a beautiful likeness of his wife, but a gasp of horror shook the audience, for the picture showed a man's hand reaching into the lady's bosom.

"How dare you insult my wife like this?" shouted the irate husband.

"Insult your wife!" exclaimed the painter. "How can you accuse me of that when I did everything I could to please her? She requested me to paint her with sympathy and when I looked up the word 'sympathy' in your dictionary. it said. 'A fellow feeling in your bosom'."


Next: Chapter 7: The god whom I love is inside


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Chapter 6






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