ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL
|2005 AND 2006|
VOL. 2, PHILOSOPHIA PERENNIS
There's No God Till You've Met Him
The second question
OSHO, SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE I COULD NOT STOP THINKING THAT ALL THESE SANNYASINS ARE WITH YOU BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STAND ON THEIR OWN FEET. THEY NEED AN OMNIPOTENT FATHER WHO MAKES ALL THE DECISIONS FOR THEM. THEN TODAY I FELT A VERY STRONG SADNESS AND JOY WHEN I LISTENED TO YOU. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? I AM AFRAID TO BECOME DEPENDENT ON YOU.
THE IDEA OF BECOMING DEPENDENT, the desire to become dependent, AND the idea and the fear of becoming dependent, are the same; they are not different. If you are afraid of becoming dependent, that simply shows you are not yet independent.
The fear is a negative state. And the desire to become dependent, to find an omnipotent father, somebody to lean upon, is a positive desire. Both are the same; the positive and the negative make the whole.
There are people who cannot stand on their own. They are not strong people, they have not yet attained their individuality. And there are people who are always afraid they may become dependent; they are not strong people either -- they are also weak. Their fear shows their weakness.
The really independent person is capable of surrendering.
The REALLY strong person is capable of falling in love -- because he knows that his individuality is intact, that there is no way he can ever lose it.
Margret, your fear shows that you don't have your individuality yet -- hence the fear. Otherwise, why should one be afraid? Remember, the individuality is your inner core: it cannot be taken away, nobody can take it away -- not even God. It is your essential being: it cannot be taken away from you. And whatsoever can be taken away from you is not your essential being. One is very willing to give it, because it is burdensome; he wants to give that burden to somebody so that he can be relieved of responsibility. The other is very much afraid to give it.
Why is the other very much afraid to give it? The other is also feeling it as a burden, would like to give it -- but there is great fear because of the idea that "This is me. If it is gone, I am gone."
To be with a Master is to learn the secret that surrender brings you individuality. That is the paradox to be learnt, and that is a great liberation once you have learnt it.
Margret, have you ever been in love or not? If you have loved a person you will know: love will make you more alone than anything else in the world. Love will make you so utterly alone that you will be surprised -- because you think in love you dissolve yourself. Certainly, all that is non-essential dissolves. But because the non-essential dissolves, the essential comes very clear and loud. And your aloneness is your essential being.
Lovers become individuals -- only lovers become individuals. And to fall in love with a Master is the ultimate in love. The relationship between a disciple and a Master is a love relationship. It is eros at the very peak. It is the highest form of love, the purest form of love. All other loves have certain other motives in them; they are motivated. And because they have certain motives in them, they are not pure. They are impure, polluted. There is some desire lurking, hence they remain crawling on the earth.
To fall in love with a Buddha, with a Christ, is to start flying into the sky. The disciples soar upwards, they enter into the world of the second law, the law of power, the law of grace. They are freed from the law of necessity, cause and effect. They are freed from gravitation; they start levitating in a metaphoric way, in a symbolic way. Their life enters into a totally new territory.
But if the fear is there, that simply means you have never tasted love yet. And because you are afraid, whatsoever you think about others is going to be wrong. Out of fear you cannot see; fear clouds the eyes, perception, clarity.
And there are only two ways: life can either be lived as eros, love, or as phobos, fear. And those who live life as phobos are unfortunate, because they will never know what life is. Only those who live life as eros will be able to know the innermost mysteries of existence. But eros demands surrender. In phobos no surrender is demanded.
Margret, you are not yet an individual -- otherwise you would have seen a totally different quality in my sannyasins. My sannyasins are not dependent on me, not at all. Certainly they are learning, certainly they are imbibing me, but they are not dependent at all. In fact, they love me because I am making them more and more independent. Their love goes on growing as they become independent, as they are freed from all kinds of conditioning. As I go on throwing them upon themselves, their love becomes deeper and deeper, their gratitude becomes deeper and deeper.
You can never be grateful to a person who makes you dependent -- you will hate the person. That's why children hate their parents. I am not a father figure. At the most I am just a friend. From your side, in the beginning, you may be in search of a father figure. And if you fall into my trap, sooner or later you will recognize that you have misunderstood the whole thing -- but now it is too late.
I am not a father figure at all! I am here to destroy all kinds of slavery. And it is true that nobody likes slavery -- even if you are forced into paradise, you will hate it. Just the idea of being forced is enough to create hatred.
It is not accidental that Friedrich Nietzsche declared that "God is dead and man is free." It was bound to happen -- if Nietzsche had not declared it, somebody else would have declared it. After all, enough is enough. Twenty centuries of Christian conditioning created Friedrich Nietzsche; he is the outcome of Christianity. Twenty centuries of dependence on God and humanity accumulated so much hatred for God -- it was bound to happen, it is very logical. It could have been predicted that man could not tolerate God any more. One has to be free.
Nietzsche simply declared what was in the unconscious of millions of people. He became the voice of this century. Nobody else represents this century as truly as Friedrich Nietzsche. He declared. "God is dead." And immediately the second declaration is, "Now man is free." That means God was a slavery, was a burden. God was crushing humanity, God was not allowing man to be himself. He had to die.
There is a beautiful parable in Nietzsche's great work, THUS SPAKE ZARATHUSTRA:
A madman comes into the marketplace, starts looking here and there and searching with a lamp in the full light of the day. And people start laughing and they ask, "What are you searching for? Are you mad or something? Why are you carrying a lit lamp in the daylight?"
And he said, "I am searching for God. Have you seen him? Has anybody seen him anywhere?"
And people started laughing more. And the crowd started ridiculing the madman, and somebody asked, "Is he a small child who has got lost? Who is this God? What do you mean by God?" And the crowd was laughing hilariously.
And the madman then threw the lamp on the ground. For a moment there was silence, and then he said, "It seems you have not yet heard the news. God is dead! And one more thing: it is we who have murdered him. But it seems the news has not yet reached you -- it takes time."
It is a tremendously significant, meaningful parable. Man has murdered God in the unconscious, and the news has not yet reached the conscious. Maybe the conscious is repressing the news, maybe the conscious is feeling guilty.
Even when you rebel against your parents, you go far away from your parents, a deep guilt goes on lurking in your heart. And through that guilt your parents go on remaining great influences on you -- maybe in a negative way. Maybe your mother used to say, "Cleanliness is next to God" -- and now you are living AS dirtily as possible, and you have to live this way because you are rebelling against your mother. But this is not rebellion, this is simply reaction. Your mother is still immensely powerful over you; she is still deciding your lifestyle. Your dirtiness, your lousiness... she is still in control.
If you remain clean and you believe in your mother's idea then she dominates you positively. If you go against her and start remaining unclean, again your mother is dominating you, in a negative way. And you can find a thousand and one reasons for it, but those will not be really reasons -- they will only be rationalizations.
You can say, "Using soap hurts the skin. Using soap is unnatural -- no animal uses it, and I am a natural being. Cleaning your teeth is not right because no animal does it. Too much cleaning of the teeth, and the toothpaste and the toothbrush, destroy the teeth."
You can find rationalizations -- but if you look deep down in the unconscious, you will simply see it is your mother still telling you, "Clean your teeth! And unless you clean your teeth you will not be given your breakfast." And you are crying and cleaning your teeth.
That scene is still there somewhere in your unconscious. You may have become very educated, sophisticated, and you may talk great philosophy -- but that is all rubbish. If you look deep down, it is only a reaction. Your mother remains immensely powerful over you, so does your father.
Now, Margret, you must have been very much dependent on your parents. This is a reaction: now you are afraid of falling in love, you are afraid of communing. You are constantly afraid that if you come very close to somebody you may disappear. You are not certain about yourself, you don't trust yourself. You don't know that your innermost core is always independent, that there is no way to take it.
But you are not aware of your inner core, you are aware only of your personality. And your personality is created by your parents, and it is rooted in phobia -- in fear. And, certainly, out of fear a man can only die but cannot live.
Hence millions of people's lives are nothing but slow suicide. They slowly slowly die. They never live -- because wherever life comes on their way they are afraid to lose themselves. They are not yet in such trust about their being that they can take the jump, that they can plunge into life and yet be able to come back -- they are not certain about it. They cannot dive deep into any experience because -- who knows? -- they may not be able to come back.
This is living your life out of fear. And when you live out of fear, you start thinking that everybody else is living out of fear -- you project it on others too.
That's why these beautiful people who are around me, yoU misunderstood them. They are not dependent on me. Sannyas is rebellion -- it is not reaction, it is rebellion. It is living with a new understanding; it is living with your inner light.
I am just a mirror to help you so that you can see your face in me, so that you can see your future in me, so that you can see your inner core reflected in me. I am just a mirror. Looking into the mirror, you don't become dependent on the mirror -- or do you? The mirror simply reflects you.
I have no idea to impose on you, I have no morality to teach you, I am not here to help you to create a character. Those are ALL ugly words: character, morality, ideology. Character means you live surrounded by an armour; character means you live out of the past, you don't live in the present. And the present is the only existence there is.
I teach you to live characterlessly -- without any armour, without any past dominating you, without any ready-made answers. To live moment-to-moment -- not out of character but out of consciousness, not out of a moral sense but out of awareness. And that is true morality and that is true character.
And you will be surprised -- because I am calling characterlessness true character; amorality, true morality. But if you understand what I mean by awareness then there will be no trouble; it will be very simple. One lives spontaneously each moment fully aware of what one is doing. There is never any repentance for the past, there is never any guilt. I teach you a guiltless life -- how can you become dependent on me? You may be grateful, but you are not dependent. You may be in love, but you are not dependent.
And remember, I don't force you, even for your own good -- because that is an old strategy, the old politics to dominate people. "Force them, destroy them -- for their own sake, for their own good." But this is my fundamental understanding, that if you choose hell you will be happy there; and if you are forced into heaven, against your choice, you will be unhappy there.
It is always freedom that brings joy. Joy is the fragrance of freedom.
The Reverend Optimus Poke was an awful golfer. One day he shot a powerful drive from the green which disappeared into a large tree. The ball dropped down, then bounced and rolled towards the green; as if drawn by a magnet, it continued rolling two hundred yards towards the flag, and finally dropped right into the hole.
"Hole in one!" cried all the other golfers.
The Reverend Poke lifted his eyes towards heaven. "Please, Father," he whispered, "I would rather do it myself."
Nobody who has any sense, any intelligence, would like to be forced -- even if that forcing brings great blessings.
I am not here to force you in any way, Margret.
You say: SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE, I COULD NOT STOP THINKING THAT ALL THESE SANNYASINS ARE WITH YOU BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STAND ON THEIR OWN FEET.
THEY ARE STANDING ON THEIR OWN FEET Just look again, watch my people again, not with a prejudiced mind. They listen to my advice, but they are not obliged to follow it. They listen silently to whatsoever I am saying and whatsoever I am -- but it is not a commandment, it is not an order. It is just simple advice; they are free to take it or not to take it. If they take it, they are responsible for taking it; if they don't take it, they are responsible for not taking it.
I never ask anybody whether they are following what I am saying or not. I don't give any details to you. You would like to be given a detailed program: when to get up, what to eat, what not to eat, when to go to sleep. You would like everything decided by me for you. In fact, that is the most baffling thing that my sannyasins have to encounter, that I don't decide any details. I simply give a general vision. I share my vision with you, then you have to find out your own way. I don't give you a map to follow. I simply share my light and then you are free with that light to move on any path.
This is a totally strange phenomenon, Margret. That's why many people misunderstand -- it is not you alone. Down the ages, the religious people have been giving detailed instructions to be followed absolutely. If you don't follow, it is a sin and you will suffer in hell. If you follow, it is virtue and you will be rewarded in heaven.
To imitate, to follow, has been a virtue for centuries. And to be on your own has been a sin for centuries. This is a totally new phenomenon, this is something very new. I am not giving you any commandments, there are no 'shoulds', no 'oughts'. I simply share my experience, then you are left alone. Then you have to choose -- but it has always to be your own choice.
I teach my people to live out of eros, love, and not to live out of phobos. And it is good that your prejudice is dropping.
You say: THEN TODAY I FELT A VERY STRONG SADNESS AND JOY WHEN I LISTENED TO YOU. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? I AM AFRAID TO BECOME DEPENDENT ON YOU.
You need not be afraid -- even if you want to become dependent on me, I am not going to accept it. Because I know one thing: that you cannot make anybody dependent on you unless you also become dependent on him or on her. Dependence is not one-way traffic. The person you become dependent upon becomes dependent on you. Slavery is always mutual. And I don't want to be a slave, I don't want to be dependent on anybody. Hence I cannot in any way support you if you want to become dependent on me. It is not possible with me, it is impossible -- because this truth is so fundamental that there are no exceptions to it.
You can watch your own life. If you become dependent on your wife, see, the wife has become dependent on you. If you become dependent on a friend, the friend has become dependent on you. It is a double-edged sword.
If you want to be independent, you will need to help everybody else who is around you to be independent. That's the only way to be independent. If the husband wants. to be independent, he has to help the wife to be independent. If the wife wants to be independent she has to help the husband to be independent.
That's why I say the women's liberation movement is a great boon to men. If the women REALLY become independent, that will be the greatest thing that has EVER HAPPENED TO MEN -- because the liberation of the woman will be the liberation of man.
Those who are alert, they will help it to happen. The woman has to be freed, utterly freed, only then can man be free. This fundamental law has not been understood up to now. Man has tried to make the woman a slave, and he himself has become a slave in the process -- in fact, more so.
It is very difficult to find a husband who is not henpecked -- almost impossible. Why has this happened? Because you have reduced the woman to such slavery that she HAS to do the same to you. It is always the same that will happen to you. Life bounces back upon you; life echoes whatsoever you do, goes on falling on you.
If you love, love will flow from everywhere towards you. If you hate, hate will flow from everywhere towards you. If you create slavery around you -- the wife is a slave and the children are slaves -- then you will be a slave your whole life. You alone cannot be free. Freedom happens only in a certain milieu of freedom; it needs a certain atmosphere of freedom.
I am creating here an atmosphere of freedom. You cannot be dependent on me, even if you want to.
And deep down, Margret, there seems to be a desire in you to be dependent -- hence the fear. You are afraid of your own unconscious.
You say: WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? I AM AFRAID TO BECOME DEPENDENT ON YOU.
If you really want to become independent, really want to taste what independence is, then take a plunge into this commune -- and experience how surrender can help you to become yourself. Experience the greatest paradox of life -- because that which can be surrendered is not you. And whatsoever you can surrender is not you, is a non-essential part of your being.
And when all non-essential parts have been dropped -- and they are like mountains crushing you, and in those mountains the small diamond of your being is utterly lost -- when all those mountains have disappeared you will see the crystal-clear light of your own inner diamond. For the first time you will see: in surrender you are born.
Surrender is a death, death of all that is non-essential, and a resurrection, a resurrection of all that is essential, authentic, true.