Chapter 9: Death: The Climax of Life,

Question 2



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The second question:

Question 2



It is not! It is not hard to attain. It is very easy. But because it is so easy, it has become hard. The ego is always interested in whatsoever is hard to attain because then the ego feels a challenge. The ego is not interested in doing whatsoever is easy; that is the problem. The ego is not interested in doing meditation; that is the only reason why it appears to be so hard.

It is so easy -- but so easy that there is no challenge in it. No ambition can be fulfilled through it; you cannot attain to any worldly power through it; you cannot attain to any worldly prestige through it. Really, you do not attain anything in the world which is visible. Rather, on the contrary, you go on losing and finally you lose yourself. It is hard because you are not ready to lose yourself; it is easy if you are ready to lose yourself. In a single moment it can happen. Otherwise you will take lives and lives and lives and it will not happen.

The question is not of time; the question is deeper. The question is whether you are ready to lose yourself. But you can ask, "Why is it so hard to lose? Why are people not ready to lose more easily?" There is a reason, and the reason is that losing oneself appears to be deathlike and no one wants to die. Everyone wants to live -- to live more. Everyone wants to avoid death.

Of course, no one can avoid it. No one ever succeeds in avoiding it. Death occurs. Death is the only certainty. All else is uncertain in life. Only death is certain. Death will happen whether you are trying to avoid it or not. You cannot escape it. In a sense it had already happened the moment you were born. Half of it has already happened and the other half will follow. And these two halves cannot be divided.

Buddha says again and again, "Once born, you will have to die" -- because you have entered death with your birth, it is an entry. You are already dead in a way. You have already started to die. The moment you are born, you have started to die. Your death process has started.

But we are afraid to die and we cling to life. Why do we cling to life and why are we afraid of death? You may not have thought about it. The reason why we cling so much to life and why we are afraid of death is just inconceivable. We cling to life so much because we do not know how to live. We cling to life so much because really we are not alive. And time is passing and death is coming nearer and nearer. And we are afraid that death is coming near and we have not lived yet.

This is the fear: death will come and we have not lived yet. We are just preparing to live. Nothing is ready; life has not happened. We have not known the ecstasy which life is; we have not known the bliss life is; we have not known anything. We have just been breathing in and out. We have been just existing. Life has been just a hope and death is coming near. And if life has not yet happened and death happens before it, of course, obviously, we will be afraid because we would not like to die.

Only those persons who have lived, really lived, are ready, welcoming, receptive, thankful to death. Then death is not the enemy. Then death becomes the fulfillment. If you have really lived and known what life is, then death is not the end of life. It is the fulfillment, it is the peak, it is the climax, it is the last thing that life can offer to you -- and the best.

Life offers only two things: one is love, another is death -- and both are dangerous because in both you will have to die. In love you will have to dissolve yourself. In death also you will have to dissolve yourself. And you are so afraid of death, of losing yourself, that deep down you have become afraid -- afraid of love also. You go on talking about love, but no one is ready to love because love is deathlike. Love and death, those are natural phenomena.

If man simply lives naturally, love will happen and death will also happen and both will be peaks. Love is dying into the other person and death is dying into the universe. But love is not ultimate death; you will come out of it. You will come out of the other person again, there will be a resurrection. And death is also not ultimate because you will be reborn. You will come out of the universe again and you will enter a body and you will become embodied.

Meditation is ultimate death: it goes beyond love and beyond death both. You cannot come out of it; that is why it is the most dangerous thing. Even in death there is the possibility you will be reborn, that you will come out of it. You will dissolve and you will again integrate, you will again evolve. So death will just be a passage of change but meditation is final death -- ultimate, absolute death. You cannot come out of it; hence, the fear. And because of the fear it looks so hard; otherwise it is as easy as anything can be. But love is difficult, so meditation will be difficult. Death is difficult, so meditation will be difficult.

To me, therefore, love is very significant: if you can love, you can meditate easily. But the whole society is against love, the whole culture is against love. They take every precaution so that love should not happen. They have created marriage so that love should not happen. Through marriage they have tried to close the very door. Before you get involved in love -- a death process -- they have protected you. They have created all types of teachings, all types of nonsense in your mind, to make love immoral.

And, basically, you are also afraid because in love you will have to lose your identity. You want to remain yourself so you go on protecting yourself. Even if you move in love, you move in a very protected way, very carefully. You remain an individual even in love. You remain an ego. So two egos meet but the meeting is only going to be an appearance. They can come near but the meeting never happens. They never dissolve into each other; they never lose themselves into each other.

If you can love, meditation will be very easy. The world will be more religious if love is accepted, helped along, and love becomes a natural milieu around you. Then meditation will be very easy because you will know a taste through love of what it means to be dissolved, even if only for a single moment. Then you can dare to be dissolved for longer moments.

And if you can love, you will not be afraid of death. Lovers are never afraid of death. And if a person is afraid of death, you can be certain that he has not loved and he has not been loved. The fear of love shows that the life has been without love. Lovers are ready to die very easily. They can die for each other. They do not care much about so-called life because they have known a higher quality of life; they have known a higher life. They do not care about this life very much.

But look at persons who have never loved. They will always be afraid of death. Look at misers: they will always be afraid of death. And misers are those persons who have not loved anyone because if you can love a person you will never love money. Money is a substitute. When you cannot love an individual, when you cannot love a live person, you love dead money.

Misers, those who go on clinging to their possessions, are not even acquainted with what love is. Their whole love has gone to dead money. And why has it gone? There are deeper connections. A person who is too much attached to money will be afraid of death. Really, a person who is afraid of death will love money too much because money seems to be a protection against death. If you have money you feel protected. If you do not have any money you feel unprotected. Death can occur and you cannot do anything. With money you feel that you can do something. Money will be helpful.

A person who loves will not love money because a person who loves will not be afraid of death. And if a person is not afraid of death, there cannot be any clinging, attachment, mad obsession with money. It is impossible.

If you can love, then you will accept death very easily. It will be a deep relaxation, a long sleep, a beautiful dissolution into the existence. And if you can be receptive to death, then meditation can be as easy as anything. The problem arises because love is not there. When death has become a fear, then meditation will be difficult because it is both love plus death. It is death as far as your ego is concerned; it is love as far as the divine existence is concerned.

I define meditation in a mathematical formula: meditation is equal to love plus death -- love to the existence, to the total, and death to the ego. They are both two aspects of the same coin because you can love the total only if you are ready to lose the individual. If you are ready to die, only then can you be reborn as the existence, as the Brahman.

Jesus says, "Only if you lose can you survive. And those who try to survive will be lost." It is hard because you have not loved; it is hard because you have not lived. It is not hard by itself. Meditation by itself is very easy -- a spontaneous phenomenon. If a human being evolves naturally, falls into love, knows what love is, knows what type of death and what type of life love is, comes out of it, knows the taste of moving into and being in death, then he will love death -- not as being against life. Death changes the quality then. Then it becomes the last point in life, the highest peak, the climax of life. Then meditation is very easy.

Those of you who are ready to lose can understand it; it is very easy. Those of you who are not ready to lose cannot understand it. One friend came to me today. He said, "Whatsoever you say appears to be absolutely true. I am totally satisfied; my mind is in agreement with you. But do not tell me to do this meditation. Is it not possible," the friend asked, "that just by total agreement with your thoughts I can achieve enlightenment? Is it necessary to move in this meditation?"

What is the fear? You can agree with me intellectually, but you are not losing yourself. And, really, if you go deep and penetrate more, you will find the whole process to be just the reverse. You agree with me intellectually because you have always been feeling that whatsoever I am saying is true. Really, you are not agreeing with me; I am agreeing with you. You feel me agreeable, so your ego is fulfilled. "Right!" you say inside your mind, "this is what I have been thinking always. You are right, because this has been my idea." You feel fulfilled, satisfied. Your ego is strengthened. This is not going to lead you to enlightenment. Rather, it may lead you to deeper ignorance -- because the ego....

What is the fear? Moving in meditation, the fear is that you will have to lose the ego; you will have to lose your identity. And this is a mad sort of meditation. If I say to you just sit in a Buddhalike posture and close your eyes, you can sit easily because you are not afraid. You can sit easily because nothing is expected, really. But in this mad, chaotic meditation in which you have to lose yourself, your identity, your image, you become just crazy. You feel you are losing control, and sooner or later the group mind takes possession of you.

Then you are dancing, but you know very well, deeply, that YOU are not dancing. The whole group is dancing, and you have just become a part of it. You cannot stop it, really. A moment comes when you cannot stop it; you are no more in possession. Something greater than you has taken the grip, something greater than you has taken control: that is the fear.

If you sit in a SIDDHASAN -- in a Buddhalike posture, you are in control. But this meditation is throwing you out of control. Really, it is pulling the ground from beneath your feet. You are being pushed into an abyss, into a whirlwind where you are no more. Something deeper, something greater, something more powerful, has taken possession. Now it is not that you are dancing, something else is dancing; you are just a part of that greater dance. This gives you fear. This makes everything difficult.

So I will tell you: be ready to lose and it will be easy. Resist, and it is difficult and hard. Resistance makes it hard; let-go makes it easy.

And the same friend has asked something more. He says, "It seems to me that it is part of nature's intention to make it very difficult and to require man to go through ages of development before he reaches it. Isn't there a divine purpose behind why it takes him so long to reach?"

Man's mind is very cunning. You can go on throwing responsibility on someone else: "It is nature's way to make it hard." YOU are making it hard; it is not nature's way. Nature's way is always simple and easy. Nature means natural, spontaneous, easy. In nature nothing is hard. Only man complicates things, makes them hard and difficult. Nature is very easy-flowing. But you can deceive. You can say it is nature's way that meditation is difficult: then you are relieved. Then it is not on your part and you cannot do anything. It is nature's way so what can you do?

You can just wait, or you can go on doing whatsoever you are doing; you need not meditate. You have thrown all responsibility on nature. But if this is really true, then meditation will happen. If you can really throw all responsibility on nature -- remember, ALL -- then meditation will happen; then there is no need to do anything. Feel miserable and know that it is nature's way. When you feel pain, do not ask for remedies; know this is nature's way. If you can do this totally, there will be no need for meditation; meditation will have already happened.

But you are cunning. Only with meditation will you say that this is nature's way and with nothing else. With everything else you will struggle, you will make effort. If you are poor you will make every effort to become rich, and you will not say that it is nature's way. You will not say, "When I become really capable, nature will make me rich." You will not wait for nature.

If you are really honest, then leave EVERYTHING to nature. You need not meditate then, because this itself, this leaving everything to nature, has become the deepest meditation possible. But if you are not honest, then you can deceive so that whatsoever you want to do you will do, and whatsoever you do not want to do you will throw on nature's shoulders.

Beware of this trick. YOU are doing it. I am ready: if you are totally throwing it to nature, then for you nothing is needed. But if you are not ready to throw it totally, then be kind to yourself: do not throw meditation. Do not say that nature has some inner work and so nature makes it hard. Nature is not making it hard.

The same friend says, "Isn't there a divine purpose behind why it takes so long to reach?"

Not only are you throwing it on nature: you can make it look very good and divine -- as if there is some divine purpose behind it and that is why you are not reaching the goal; that is why you are not attaining to meditation; that is why samadhi is so difficult. No! YOU are creating barriers for the divine purpose. And in a way, there can be no divine purpose because existence is purposeless. It is a play.

Purpose is human: you have purpose. But the existence cannot have any purpose. There is no sense in having any purpose. Existence is flowing -- overflowing with its own energy. It is a festivity, not a purpose. It is a constant celebration. The existence is enjoying itself in so many forms. There is no purpose, and existence is not worried if you are not reaching to ecstasy. It is only your worry. If you are not reaching, YOU will suffer. Existence is not suffering because of your not reaching and existence will not force you to move into ecstasy. It is up to you.

Existence is a deep freedom. If you want to be in suffering, be in suffering. If you want to be in bliss, be in bliss. It is your own choice. But it is too much for our minds to think that everything is our choice because then we become responsible. If you come to think that you are the cause of your suffering, then you will feel very bad. It always feels better to make someone else the cause of your suffering.

But, remember, if someone else is the cause of your suffering, you can never become free. Then there is no liberation. But if you are the cause of your suffering, then liberation is within your hands; you can do something and change it.

I tell you, you are the cause of your heaven and of your hell. If you are in hell, you have chosen it to be so. And the moment you decide, you can come out of it. No one is going to prevent you; no one will say to you, "Do not go." The gates are not closed against you. Really, there are no gates, and no devil is standing at the door. You need not even have a passport to move out. It is simply your decision to be there.

You are in suffering because you have decided to be in suffering; you can come out of it the moment you decide to come out. You can be in bliss if you decide to be in bliss. Your decision is your being. You choose whatsoever you are. You have chosen it to be so; that is why it is so. Do not go on throwing responsibilities on something else -- on nature, on God, on faith, on destiny. Do not go on throwing them.

But if you really feel that you cannot do anything, that you are helpless, then I say throw the TOTAL responsibility. These are two ways. Throw the total responsibility; then you have nothing to do and everything will happen, because the moment you throw the total responsibility, the ego is also thrown, the ego cannot exist. If you give total responsibility to nature or to the divine force or to x y z, your ego is no more there. And when the ego is not, the thing happens. Or, if you cannot throw total responsibility, if you cannot surrender totally, if you cannot feel that you are totally helpless -- remember the word total -- then you will have to do something to dissolve the ego; then effort will be needed. Do either this or that but do not move in between. And do not try to travel in two boats. You will be in difficulty; you will never reach anywhere.

This is my observation: if I say to people, "Leave everything to God," they say, "How can I leave? How can I surrender? I do not know what God is. Unless I know, how can I leave everything to him?" They say, "It is difficult." They say, "Please show us some way so that we can do something." If I say to them, "Do this or that, follow this method and you will achieve," immediately they bring some objection. They say, "Man is helpless. What can we do? We are so helpless -- just puppets in the hands of a destiny which is unknown."

If I say to them, "Leave everything to destiny," they say it is impossible. If I say, "Do something," they say it is impossible. The mind is cunning and always tries to escape. Be alert about it; only then can something happen to you. Otherwise you can go on just wavering your whole life and nothing will happen.

You have wasted so many lives before. You are not here for the first time listening to something about meditation; you have listened to it many times. It is not only that you are clever with me; you have been clever many times before. You have listened to Buddha, you have listened to Jesus, you have listened to Krishna. You were there -- with different faces, of course, but you were there. You are very old, ancient ones, but your cunning is so deep that Buddhas fail; Christs come and go and you remain unperturbed. No one can push you off your road. You continue; you bypass all.

So while talking to you or while leading you into meditative states, I never think that you are new ones. You have done many things before but never with your full heart. And unless you are totally in anything, nothing can happen. Be either totally with destiny, with the divine force, and then you are no more; or be totally with a technique, with a method, so that the ego can be destroyed by and by, slowly. Method is a slow thing; surrender is total and final. Surrender is possible in a single moment; method will take time. I am giving you method because I know that you cannot surrender.


Next: Chapter 9: Death: The Climax of Life, Question 3


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Chapter 9






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