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ZEN

THE WAY OF THE BISCUIT

Commentary upon the Great Way by Zen Master Biscuit


SUTRA ONE

Here is a biscuit

There is a biscuit

What is here is there

What is there is here also

So both here and there

Are according to the MOVEMENT OF THE biscuit

For verily in the beginning was the biscuit and from It came forth all things so that in the end all things could evolve to that wonderful moment when the great eternal one could both offer and receive biscuits in a variety of civilized and social situations throughout all space and time continuum – and most importantly with a variety of cream fillings.

Upon the cross Crispy died for the biscuit. Forgive them Lord they know not the shortbread. And after the three wise men had offered up all the three gifts did a little later upon some time a Garibaldi was also offered by Zen Master Biscuit himself.

When Caeser was on the road to Jerusalem did not he happen upon Zen Master Biscuit who immediately reached into his satchel for a jammie dodger? Is this not the way. Words. Words. Words. The way of the digestive is beyond words.

Split butter, flour, and sugar infinitely far apart and there will be no biscuit. And such is the nature of all activity in the vast chittam. The Universe is a huge biscuit factory and we as humans must play our parts in the great scheme of the custard cream.

What is tea without biscuit? What is biscuit without tea? Offer me a twig, a flower, a sip of water and I shall say “fair do to you Arjuna.” Ah! But offer me a biscuit and the gates to heaven shall be unlocked for you and all your children to come and their children and their children’s children. For the power of the Bourbon is infinite. And it is not for us mortal folk to speculate too much upon the source of all biscuits without devotion unto the dunk.

For within movement of the dunk is the dance of the dunking. Once dunked then even the rich tea shall dissolve into the divine bliss of the café instant

Doest thou not recall how Rumi met Shems? Did not Shems immediately reach into his satchel for a morning coffee? Wast it not served with devotion at 10.30am?

Did not the Buddha himself munch? One afternoon he appeared holding a Jacobs cracker between forefinger and thumb. Only one student understood and rushed off to purchase a bit of Danish blue.

Look at the Lily’s! Are they not similar to biscuits? When Atisha was in Tibet did he not write in his own blood upon a marble tablet:


”The End is the beginning

All things pass that arise

Tathagata ! Devotion! Mystery! and…

2oz butter

4oz flour

A cup of sugar

Mix and then cook in a pre-heated oven at gas mark 5 for 20 minutes until golden

Remove and place upon a cooling tray.

When ready serve with hot tea or coffee.”

 

I tell you brothers and sisters, the bowl may float upstream, but the way of the biscuit is like the middle path only slightly different upon a few points especially those bits that don’t mention biscuits.

For those that understand the subtleties of the biscuit then the way is clear and no further exposition is required.

So ends the first sutra.



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