THE ENERGY ENHANCEMENT MEDITATION COURSE BY VIDEO
MEDITATION
The Secret
Trust In The Master
MEDITATION
The Secret
Trust In The Master
IT IS
RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF DELHI AND
SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ, 'IF YOUR
TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM.' BUT I HAVE A
DIFFICULTY."
BAQI-BILLAH SAID, "DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE THE
MATTER FOR YOU."
AFTER
A CONSIDERABLE PERIOD OF TIME, THE DISCIPLE RECEIVED A LETTER FROM THE SAGE.
IT SAID, "TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE AND, GIVE IT TO THE GATE-KEEPER OF ANY
BROTHEL."
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A
FRAUD. AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE
NEAREST HOUSE OF ILL FAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE
MONEY WHICH HE HAD.
"FOR SUCH A SUM OF MONEY", SAID THE DOORMAN, "I SHALL ALLOT YOU THE
CHOICEST GEM OF OUR COLLECTION, AN UNTOUCHED WOMAN."
AS SOON AS HE ENTERED THE ROOM, THE WOMAN THERE SAID, "I HAVE BEEN TRICKED
INTO BEING IN THIS HOUSE, AND AM HELD HERE BY FORCE AND THREATS. IF YOUR
SENSE OF JUSTICE IS STRONGER THAN YOUR REASON FOR COMING HERE, HELP ME TO
ESCAPE."
THEN THE DISCIPLE KNEW THE MEANING OF THE POEM OF HAFEZ, "IF YOUR TEACHER
BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM."
SCIENCE IS BASED ON DOUBT: doubt is its method, its climate, its very soul.
Science cannot exist without doubt. It is only through questioning, and
constant questioning, that science comes to know about the facts of
existence. Its world of enquiry is objective.
The object cannot be trusted. The object is dead. You have to penetrate the
object with as many questions and doubts as possible; only then will the
object reveal its mysteries.
Religion, on the contrary, is trust. Religion's method is trust. Trust is
its climate, its philosophy, its very being, because religion is not
concerned with objects but with your own subjectivity. The journey of
science is outwards, the journey of religion is inwards. Science means going
outward, religion means going inward; their directions are diametrically
opposite. Although they are diametrically opposite they are complementary
too, as all opposites always are.
There is a harmony between the opposites. The inner and the outer are not
enemies, they are in utter coordination. The body and the soul are not
enemies, they befriend each other; in fact they cannot exist separately,
they can exist only in a togetherness. Man and woman, darkness and light,
summer and winter, positive and negative -- they are all together, although
they are opposites. But they are not enemies, this has to be understood:
opposites and yet complementaries... and there is utter harmony in
existence.
It is like inhalation and exhalation: you breathe in, you breathe out. When
you breathe in it is one process, the breath goes inwards; when you breathe
out it is just the opposite process, the breath goes outwards, but it is the
same breath. Inhalation and exhalation are two aspects of the same
phenomenon, opposites and yet complementary; so are religion and science, so
are doubt and trust.
Because it has not been understood in the past a great calamity has
happened to humanity, the greatest calamity, I call it -- the calamity that
has kept religion and science not only separate but inimical. In the past we
have not been able to bring a synthesis between science and religion.
Because of that incapability the world has become split and the man who is
trained in science becomes anti-religious; and vice versa, the person who
moves into the world of religion becomes anti-scientific. This need not
happen, this should not happen.
If you are really. intelligent you will be able to coordinate between these
opposites. You will be able to bring a harmony between these two, doubt and
trust, and then arises the real total human being.
What do I mean when I say a great harmony has to be achieved? I mean that
when you are moving outwards, use doubt as your methodology, trust doubt
when you are moving outwards. When you are enquiring into the world of
objects trust doubt. Doubt is beautiful, immensely beautiful. And when you
are moving inwards put your doubt aside: trust trust. And the man who can
manage this I call a really intelligent person.
It is like you are seeing me, you are seeing me through your eyes, but you
are also listening to me, you are listening to me through your ears. The
ears cannot see and the eyes cannot hear, but still there is a tremendous
coordination happening in you: you know you are hearing the same person that
you are seeing. This is intelligence, this coordination is intelligence.
Deep down a synthesis is happening constantly. The ears are pouring one
information, the eyes are pouring another information; both are unrelated --
as far as ears and eyes are concerned, both are unrelated -- but your
intelligence is creating a relationship between them: you are hearing the
same person you are seeing.
Exactly in the same way, doubt cannot know the subject and trust cannot
know the object. Doubt can know the object, trust can know the subject; and
intelligence is when both pour their information into one pool and truth is
known in both its aspects, as inner, as outer.
That is the real religion humanity needs now -- or, the real science --
which will not divide man and which will not cripple man. Up to now,
hitherto, man has been crippled.
If you trust you forget the language of doubt. The society becomes
unscientific, becomes incapable of tackling so many problems that man has to
encounter, becomes poor, impoverished, ill, ugly. If you start only using
doubt the society becomes better, scientifically better, technologically
better, affluent, but the inner world simply is forgotten. Then you don't
have a soul; inwards you remain fast asleep. In both ways man remains
lopsided. In both ways man remains partial and cannot become total.
The religions of the past have failed in creating a total man. And so has
been the case with modern science; modern science has also failed in
creating the total man. And the total man is the need because only the total
man can be contented, only the total man can be richer inwards, outwards.
Only the total man can be really in a celebration -- his body satisfied, his
soul satisfied, his senses contented, his spirit contented.
This small story is the story of trust, because Sufism is an approach
towards the inner. This story is not meant to be understood as against
doubt. It has to be understood as that only as far as the inner journey is
concerned, doubt is inadequate, only trust is adequate.
If you want to see, see through the eyes, don't try to see through the
ears; ears are not capable of that. If you want to hear, hear through the
ears and forget all about the eyes; eyes cannot hear. Both are right in
their own dimensions. Both are partial, and your intelligence has to
transcend their partiality. Your intelligence has to create a synthesis.
In the past your intelligence was not trusted, hence you were told either
to doubt and become scientific, or to trust and become religious. Neither
the so-called religious people have trusted your intelligence and its
transcending quality, nor have the scientists trusted your intelligence and
its transcending quality. Both were afraid because the other looked
opposite. All complementaries look opposite.
There is no need to be afraid of the opposite. The opposite has to be
absorbed, not denied, because whatsoever is denied will take revenge in its
own time. Never deny anything: let that be a fundamental law. Absorb, go on
absorbing, howsoever opposite something looks to you. Remember always,
existence functions through opposites, it can only function through
opposites. It is through the opposites that existence creates momentum,
dynamism. It is by polar opposites that the existence creates a dialectical
process; otherwise there would be no dialectical process.
Just think: a world only of men and no women -- it would not be rich, it
would be very very flat; or a world where only women exist -- that too would
be ugly, that too would be very very stagnant. From where will the movement
come? The opposite is the challenge, and because of the challenge the
movement arises. Because of the challenge you cannot become asleep, you
become awakened.
It is through the opposites that existence moves, grows, evolves. It is a
subtle strategy, but only now is it possible to understand it in its
totality, because we have lived the way of religion for centuries and we
have lived the way of science also for a few centuries; now we know that
both are complementary, not opposites.
But this story is the story of the religious investigation: it depends on
trust.
A few things before we enter into the story...
Says Hafez, "Do not travel through these stations without the company of a
Perfect Master. There is darkness. Beware of the danger of getting lost!"
When you are moving outwards you can move alone, because in the outer world
you are never alone. Millions of people are existing there. When you are
moving outwards the reality is so individual, it is not personal. The
reality is objective, it is impersonal. If you are seeing a rock it is not
only you who is seeing the rock; everybody who is standing there can see the
rock. The rock has an objective existence. There is not any danger of
getting into hallucinations. The others' presence, their witness, will keep
you away from hallucinations.
But when you start moving inwards you are alone. Who is going to decide
whether what you are seeing is true or just a fantasy? When you move
outwards there is light, light of the sun and the moon and the stars; there
is enough light outside. But when you move inwards first you will encounter
great darkness because your eyes have become accustomed to the outer light
and they don't know how to look in. You will be falling into an abysmal
darkness. You will need somebody who has traveled the inner path -- you will
need a Master.
In the outer world you will need only a teacher who can inform you. That
information can be got from the library too, or from a computer. The teacher
is just there to give you information like the book or the computer. There
is no need for any personal involvement with the teacher; the teacher is not
there as a person, you need not be intimate with him.
The Master means you have to be very intimate with him -- it is a love
relationship -- because in the inner world you will need him so deeply that
unless you are very close to his heart and he is very close to your heart,
it will not be possible to keep his company in the inner darkness. Great
intimacy is needed, and intimacy arises out of love, out of trust. If you
doubt the Master, you will not be able to go on that dangerous journey of
inner adventure. Only his love and your love for him will keep you alive,
will keep you enthusiastic, will keep you nourished.
Hafez is right: "Do not travel through these stations without the company
of a Perfect Master. There is darkness. Beware of the danger of getting
lost!"
In the outside world there is no danger of getting lost. There are
milestones on every road, maps are available, guides are available, and
there are millions of people always there who can help you.
But in the inner world there are no maps, because each individual's
subjectivity is so different that maps cannot be made, and each individual's
growth is so unique that milestones cannot be made, and each individual
follows such different labyrinths that you will need somebody who is
tremendously alert, aware, enlightened to help you on each step. Otherwise
from each step there is a possibility of getting lost.
And the greatest problem is: when you lose the outer world you are left
utterly alone. And you will not be able to make any distinction between what
is fact and what is fiction. The boundaries between fact and fiction start
dissolving.
For example, in the morning when you wake up you relate a dream to your
wife. You know it is a dream. How do you know it is a dream? -- because only
you dream it. Your wife was sleeping on the same bed and she had no
awareness that you had been to the Himalayas, and you had been traveling in
the mountains, and you had been visiting places. She had no awareness, and
she was sleeping just by your side. In the morning if your wife says that
she has also dreamt the same dream; that yes, the journey was beautiful and
the mountains were beautiful, and "Think of that dark bungalow where we
stayed"... then you will become suspicious about whether it was a dream or a
reality. And if your son comes in and says, "Daddy, where have you been the
whole night? I came twice. You were both not present in the room," then you
will become more suspicious: "Maybe it was real?" How do you judge reality?
If others agree then you know it is a fact, if nobody agrees then you know
it is a fiction. The others' agreement makes it a fact.
But in the inner world you will be alone, totally alone. There will be
nobody to agree or disagree. How will you know what is fact and what is
fiction? If you see Buddha in your meditations, how will you know whether he
has really appeared or you have simply been dreaming? That is the problem.
And one can easily get lost in one's own fictions, and to be lost in one's
own fictions is madness: that is the danger on the inner journey. You will
need somebody who can be present in your innerness.
That is the meaning of trust: creating such a strong bridge with someone
that even when you are alone in your meditations he is there.
The Master is always with the disciple if the disciple allows him to be.
The Master is absolutely available until the very last moment; yes, to the
very last moment, until God happens to you. The Master disappears only when
God has happened; or, both things happen simultaneously -- the disappearance
of the Master and the appearance of God. But up to that moment the Master
follows you like a shadow. He keeps you alert, he does not allow you to go
astray.
Rumi says, "Deadly poison looks like honey and milk. Wait! Do not journey
without a Master who knows."
The relationship between a Master and a disciple is what is meant by the
word trust. To others who have never known of it, it will look blind -- just
as love looks blind to people who have never loved. But ask those who have
loved and they will tell a totally different story. They will say, "We were
blind before we had loved. We became insightful only through love. We
attained to eyes through love, we had no eyes without love." Ask the people
who have known love and they will say, "People without love are all blind."
And that's the case with the disciple who has known the love and trust for
a Master. He will laugh when you say, "You are blind." He will laugh at your
ridiculous remark, because now he knows what it is to have eyes, eyes into
his own inner reality, eyes which can see inwards. You have eyes which can
see only outwards, but the disciple starts having eyes which can see
inwards. He starts having ears which can hear inwards. His senses are
doubled. You live with only five senses, the disciple lives with ten senses:
five for the outer journey and five for the inner. The disciple becomes
utterly rich: just think... five more senses becoming available. You have
the ears which can know and hear the music that comes from the outside, but
you are deaf to the inner music -- and there is an inner music which is
continuously flowing in you.
That inner music Sufis call sama. Once it is heard, all outer music just
becomes noise and nothing else. You have an inner fragrance; once it is
smelled all outer fragrances are no more fragrances. They start stinking.
When the inner eye opens you know a totally different vision of beauty, a
new splendor, and before that splendor all outer beauties simply look pale
-- faint old photographs, reflections in muddy water. When you have known
the inner crystal-clarity, everything outside looks a chaos, a confusion.
The disciple becomes utterly rich. He starts growing inner senses: he has
ten senses instead of five. And when all these ten senses fall into a
harmony something immensely beautiful and blissful is created. That's what
God is.
Hafez says, "Stop this cleverness and planning, for love closes the gates
of the Divine to the heart of anyone who does not completely lose himself on
the Path of Devotion."
The disciple has to lose himself into the Master; that's what trust is.
Then there is no question of doubt. The surrender is absolute. Then the
Master becomes your inner voice, then there is no separation. You don't
think in terms of separation.
The Master is the Kaaba of his lovers -- Kaaba is the name of the temple of
God in Mecca. The Master is the Kaaba to his disciples; the disciples don't
go to the Kaaba. That's why Mohammedans, orthodox Mohammedans, have not been
very happy about the Sufis.
It is related that when the great Sufi, Junnaid, asked his disciple, Mansur,
to go for a pilgrimage to Kaaba because Mansur was creating troubles...
Whenever he would go into his ecstasy he would start shouting in utter joy,
"I am God!" and that is sacrilege to the orthodox Mohammedan, that is
arrogance.
Junnaid told Mansur, his disciple, many times, "You stop shouting that. I
know you are, I know I am, I know everybody is -- but you stop! Don't say it
so loudly, keep it inside, because the people are foolish -- they will start
creating trouble for you." Mansur would always say, "Yes, sir." But whenever
he would be in his ecstasy again he would shout, "Ana el Haq!" I am God I
Junnaid said, "You promise me, and you again and again do the same." He
said, "What can I do? I promise you, but God does not promise you. And when
I am lost, he declares I It is not me." And Junnaid knew it, so he said, "It
is good" -- just to avoid... because rumors were spreading, reports against
Mansur and Junnaid and their work were reaching the king. And the prime
minister was very much against... so Junnaid said, "Just to avoid the
trouble you go for a pilgrimage; you go to Kaaba." And in those days going
to Kaaba meant for years; you have to go walking thousands of miles. So
Mansur said, "Okay." He stood up and he said, "Okay, so I am going." Junnaid
was very happy. He said, "I was not thinking you would leave so easily."
And what did Mansur do, do you know? He just went around Junnaid seven
times and then said, "I am back! You are my Kaaba!"
To the disciple the Master is Kaaba. To the disciple the Master is his God,
his temple.
And he is also the qiblah to the disciple. Qiblah is the direction facing
Mecca, towards which all Moslems pray. Whenever a Moslem prays he keeps his
face towards Kaaba; that direction is called qiblah.
Now Sufis are again very unorthodox: they don't keep their faces towards
the Kaaba, they keep their faces towards the Master, wherever the Master is.
For the disciple the Master is Kaaba and the Master is qiblah. He is the
temple and he is the direction to the temple.
This is trust.
In HADID it is reported that God says to Mohammed, "Whoever seeks me will
find me. Whoever finds me will know me. Whoever knows me will have love for
me. Whoever loves me I will love. Whomever I love I will kill. And whomever
I will kill, his blood-money I will pay. I am myself his blood-money".. a
tremendously important saying. God says to Mohammed, "Whomever I love I will
kill."
The Master has to kill the disciple. The disciple has to allow the Master
to kill him. The disciple has to be in a rejoicing when the Master kills
him.
Just the other day somebody who was not yet a sannyasin had asked, "It is
said that if you meet the Buddha on the Way, kill him. Then why is it not
said if you meet Rajneesh on the Way, kill him?" Exactly that has to be
done: if you meet Rajneesh on the Way, kill him! But that statement was made
to the disciples; you are not yet a disciple. You will never meet me on the
Way in the first place. The question of killing me will never arise. I can
meet you on the Way only if you have first allowed me to kill you.
That is the meaning of being a disciple: the Master first kills the
disciple -- that is the beginning of the journey -- then finally the
disciple kills the Master -- that is the end. Then the Master and the
disciple have both disappeared. Then only God is.
That tremendously pregnant statement by the Zen Masters, "If you meet the
Buddha on the Way, kill him," is the last step of the journey, so whomsoever
has asked it has not understood it at all. Yes, you have to kill me, but you
will meet me only if you allow me first to kill you. That is a
pre-requirement. I will not come on just anybody's Way, Tom, Harry, or Dick,
no. I will only come on the Way when you have allowed me to destroy you. And
then, certainly, the Master has to be killed. The beginning is with the
death of the disciple and the end with the death of the Master. Then the
separation is gone; then there is no disciple, no Master. Then only pure
energy is left. That pure energy is God.
The disciple has to be in the state Sufis call 'tavern of ruins', kharabat.
It is said that Bayazid of Bistami was in this state when someone knocked
at his door. Bayazid asked, "Who do you want?" The man answered that he was
looking for Bayazid of Bistami. Bayazid replied, "Ah! It has been years
since I have had any news of him."
The moment a person becomes a disciple he has chosen suicide. He has chosen
to destroy himself, because he has known that to be is to be in misery, that
to be is to be in hell. Now he wants to learn the ways not to be.
Sufism leads to this state, the state of non-being, loss of self and
passing away into the beloved. As Khwajeh' Abdollah Ansari has said, "Oh
God! Non-being is an affliction for all, but a blessing for me." Thus
whoever enters the path of Sufism in order to achieve a spiritual station or
high state of consciousness has taken the first step wrongly. The real Sufi
is one who goes on the path in order to not be. The gnostic, Aref, gyan-yogi,
travels within himself, whereas the Sufi travels from himself. The gnostic
says, "Know thyself in order to know God." The Sufi, prem-yogi, the bhakta,
says, "Let go of thyself in order to be free. " The goal of the Sufi is not
self-knowledge but dissolution of the self. The goal of the Sufi is not
self-realization but annihilation of the self, fana. And the first lesson
has to be learned with the Master.
To be in a state of not-being in the presence of the Master is called adab.
Adab is a Sufi word: it means the art of being in the presence of the
Master. Literally it means etiquette, but it is not just etiquette. It means
the art of how to be in the presence of a Master; in fact, how to be there
and yet absent, how to be as if you are not.
The story is told of a disciple who was once in the presence of his Master,
the great Junnaid. He was standing with total reverence and respect, like
one who is praying to God. The Master said, "You are standing superbly, but
it would be better if you were not to be at all." That is adab -- to be in
the presence of the Master as an absence, so his presence can fill you to
all nooks and corners of your being. Not to give him any resistance -- that
is adab; not to have any armor around you -- that is adab; not to defend
yourself -- that is adab.
And that's what we constantly go on doing: we are constantly defending
ourselves. And it is perfectly okay in the outside world; you have to
defend. It is a constant struggle to survive and you have to keep an armor,
otherwise you will be exploited; people will take advantage of your
vulnerability, of your openness. So when relating in the world you have to
keep a certain quality of resistance, you have to be on guard, and that's
okay.
But if you have that same attitude and manner when you are with the Master
then your being with the Master is just pointless. There you have to
surrender all your defence structures, strategies. You have to open your
doors and windows so the Master can flow in you like light and breeze and
rain, so the Master can simply penetrate you with no resistance from your
side. You have to be just a receptivity, you have to be feminine. That is
adab.
And trust is the fundamental of adab.
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Now this beautiful story.
IT IS RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF
DELHI AND SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ,
'IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM,' BUT
I HAVE A DIFFICULTY."
In the world of the Sufis, satsang is called the assembly of the Master,
darbar -- "Master's court", because the Master is a king as far as his
disciples are concerned. In fact who else can be a king? All other kings are
just poor beggars compared to the kingdom of a Master. His kingdom is the
kingdom of God. He is really rich. He may be living as a beggar or as a king
-- that is irrelevant -- but he is rich, and only he is rich. Sufis are
right to call his assembly "the court", darbar.
The Master is not only a teacher; it is not a class. The Master is really
the Master. The disciples are those who have surrendered their whole being
in totality. They no more exist separately, they are just obedience and
nothing else. They respect the Master as the king, as the real king.
IT IS RELATED THAT A MAN WENT TO THE ASSEMBLY OF THE MASTER BAQI-BILLAH OF
DELHI AND SAID, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF MASTER HAFEZ..."
Reading never helps you to know the truth, because reading, you cannot
understand what you read. The meaning is not in the words, never; you read
the words but the meaning is supplied by you. The meaning is always yours.
Words come to you, empty, and then you pour your meaning into those words.
To understand Hafez you will have to be a Hafez, to understand Jesus you
will have to be a Jesus; there is no other way. If you think you can
understand Jesus without becoming a Jesus, you are utterly wrong. This is
not the way to approach great statements, the statements of the realized
ones.
Now this man says, "I was reading the famous words of the Master Hafez. "
You can read it but you will not understand it. In fact you will mis-understand
it.
The worthy shepherd of the Mission Methodist Church, in a burst of
passionate eloquence in denunciation of the world's wickedness, declared,
"Hell is full of cocktails, highballs, short skirts, and one-piece bathing
suits!"
Voice from the gallery, "Oh, Death, where is thy sting!"
You will understand in your own way. You will understand the way you can
understand.
A bibulous person issued from a saloon in a state of melancholy
intoxication, and outside the door he encountered the parson of his church.
The pastor exclaimed mournfully, "Oh, John, I am so sorry to see you come
out of such a place as that."
The bibulous one wept sympathetically. "Then", he declared huskily, "I will
go right back." And he did.
THIS MAN SAYS, "I HAVE BEEN READING THE FAMOUS VERSE OF THE MASTER HAFEZ,
'IF YOUR TEACHER BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM,' AND
I HAVE A DIFFICULTY."
Naturally, obviously, because this can be one of the most sacrilegious
statements possible, to stain your prayer carpet with wine: "Hafez must be
mad! What is he saying? He cannot be a Moslem. What is he saying.? --
staining your prayer carpet with wine?" Naturally, he has great difficulty
in understanding it. He is puzzled; he has started doubting. He is still
calling him "the great Master Hafez", but now great doubt has arisen in him.
Ninety-nine percent of our lives consists of doubts, because ninety-nine
percent of our lives consists of going out, extroversion. We live in doubt,
doubt has become almost our nature. Our first approach, attitude, tendency,
is that of doubt. First we doubt -- unless it is proved otherwise. We need
proofs to trust. For doubt, we don't need any proofs; doubting has become
our habit.
The disciple has to change that habit; he has to learn trusting. Trust --
unless proved otherwise; doubt only if it is proved. Otherwise don't doubt;
unless it is proved, don't doubt. This is a great change. This is what makes
an ordinary man a disciple. This is the transformation required.
You see a stranger. The first idea is that of doubt -- maybe he is a thief,
a murderer, who knows? Unless proved otherwise, you carry doubt without any
proof. You don't trust him.
The disciple has to change his attitude -- at least with the Master, and
then slowly, slowly with the other disciples of the Master. That's how he
becomes a part of the family of the Master, of his commune, by dropping this
ugly habit of doubt.
And it is good in the marketplace, but the marketplace should not be your
total life. You should leave something for some other world, for some other
dimension. You should leave at least a small corner of your inner being as a
shrine for trust. If you become full of doubt, then you are full of
illnesses, then you don't have any source of well-being in you. Whenever you
can trust a person you feel great joy. That's why love is so joyous --
because you can trust a person.
It is said of Adolf Hitler that he could never love a woman because he
could never trust anybody. He never allowed any woman to stay with him in
his room, never. Why? And it was not that he was not having some
relationships with women. He was having relationships with women, but he
would never allow any woman to stay in his room in the night. Who knows? --
she may poison him. Who knows? -- she may be a spy. He was incapable of
friendship. He was one of the loneliest men in the world. If you cannot
love, if you cannot even trust a woman, certainly you will be living in a
kind of constant paranoia, fear. He could not marry a woman his whole life,
because if you marry a woman then you will have to trust her. Then she will
stay with you, then she will prepare your food, she will sleep with you, and
you are unnecessarily becoming vulnerable. He certainly did marry a woman,
but only before he committed suicide, three hours before. When he had
already decided, "Now I am going to commit suicide," he married. Now there
was no fear; what else could she do? He was already going to commit suicide,
hence now it seemed logical to marry; there was no problem. What else could
she do? At most she could poison him; he himself was going to poison
himself. Now there was no need to be afraid: death was coming. He married
just three hours before.
In the middle of the night a priest was awakened from his sleep, brought to
the basement where he was staying. Half asleep, not understanding what was
happening, somehow he managed the ceremony. No friends were present, no
relatives were present, just a few guards. And after the marriage what did
he do? Did he make love to the woman? No, they both committed suicide. That
was the only thing that he did after marriage. Maybe he wanted somebody to
follow him in death, so he got married.
Adolf Hitler may be an extreme case, but if you watch your own mind you
will find that in each individual the same kind of doubt exists, more or
less. Even if you live with a man or a woman for years, still the doubt
persists there. You are always watching from the corner of your eye: "Who
knows?"
This is a way to create hell for yourself.
Find at least one man in your life with whom you can be utterly open, and
that will be your first lesson of love and your first lesson of God and your
first lesson of transcendence.
The man said, "Now I am having difficulty."
The Scotsman entered the parlor of the "painless" dentist, nursing an
aching tooth. The doctor examined the tooth and then announced, "It is badly
ulcerated. I am afraid it will have to come out, and it will be necessary to
put you under an anesthetic to do it. "
"Anesthetic?" questioned the Scot.
"Yes -- gas, you know. It will simply put you to sleep for a few minutes,
and in the meantime I will be able to extract the tooth without giving you
any pain."
"Won't I be able to feel anything at all when I am under the influence?"
"No, nothing whatsoever."
The Scotsman thereupon pulled out his purse and began to count out some
coins.
"Oh, never mind paying now," said the dentist. "Plenty of time for that
once the tooth is out."
"I was not getting ready to pay you. I was just making sure how much money
I had before you give me the gas."
That is the way people are living.
If you had come across this statement of Hafez, "If your teacher bids you
stain your prayer carpet with wine, obey him," you would also have
suspected, doubted. It goes against all your religious teachings. It goes
against all your life experiences.
You have been told always to be on guard; that's why you are so tense,
that's why people cannot relax. If you cannot trust you cannot relax, and if
you cannot relax you cannot know the taste of life.
BAQI-BILLAH SAID, "DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE
THE MATTER FOR YOU."
Why did the Master say, "Dwell apart from me for some time... "? Because
when you are close to a Master, many times you start having illusions of
trust, because the very presence of the Master goes on changing your inner
chemistry. His very presence is alchemical. You start trusting not because
trust has arisen in you, but only because the Master is present there and
his constant showering, his vibe, can give you the delusion that you trust
him.
Many times I send my sannyasins far away, for months, for years, just to
give them a real experience of where they are. Here, you are riding on a
wave. Here, my presence, and the presence of thousands of other sannyasins,
is creating an energy-field which can possess you, turn you, toss you, can
create a dance in you, can bring a song to you. And naturally you will think
this is your dance, this is your song, and it may not be. It may be just the
impact, it may be just that you were caught by the momentum of the energy.
It is good sometimes that the disciple go far away -- unless the Master
decides otherwise.
So when sometimes I say to you " Go away to the West for a few months",
don't feel offended, don't feel rejected. That may be a necessary step for
you, a need of your being. You will come back enriched. You will come truer
when you come back. You will know what is yours and what is not yours. And
it is very good always to remember what is yours and what is just an impact
of a great whirlpool of energy.
Baqi-Billah said, "Dwell apart from me for some time... " because if the
Master had said something right then, there was every possibility that the
disciple would have accepted it. He could not accept Hafez's statement
because Hafez was not his Master. And Hafez was dead -- centuries divided
him from Hafez. He knew nothing of Hafez; he had not tasted the wine of
Hafez, Hafez was just scripture. But when his own Master, Baqi-Billah, was
there, if the Master had said something he might have done it believing that
he trusted. He may not have doubted -- although the doubt would be there
deep in the unconscious.
The Master sends him away so that he becomes more normal, more real, more
as he is; so the contact with the Master becomes loose, the impact of the
Master fades away, wears down.
"DWELL APART FROM ME FOR SOME TIME AND I SHALL ILLUSTRATE THE MATTER FOR
YOU."
And that is the way of the Sufis: they always illustrate. They are not
interested much in answering intellectually. Their whole effort is to create
situations so those situations can illustrate things to you.
Just the other day somebody was saying that many doubts arise in him about
me, my work, my people, the commune. I said, "It is natural, nothing to be
worried about. Don't repress those doubts -- that is dangerous. Never
repress those doubts. Watch, try to understand them, and don't be worried
because if trust is there, if tacit trust is there, then it is capable of
transforming doubts also in its favor. It can use doubts also as steps. It
can make doubts serve trust. "
It is not a question of dropping doubts, it is a question of gaining more
and more trust. Then the doubts can be transformed, can be used. And it is
bound to be there, because this commune is a situation. You go on thinking
of it as an ashramas other ashrams are. All other ashrams are made in such a
way that they create trust in you, they are arranged in such a way that they
fulfill your demands; but then your doubt will never be transformed,
remember, because your doubt will never be provoked.
This is not an ordinary ashram like those you come across in India. They
fulfill all your expectations. They are perfectly aware of how you will
trust them. This is just a totally different phenomenon that is happening
here. I know all your expectations, and I do exactly the opposite. And this
is going to happen continuously, more and more. The more people will be
coming here, the more I will destroy all kinds of expectations. Whatsoever
you demand is not going to be fulfilled, so that your doubt remains on the
surface: you have to do something about it. If it moves into the
unconscious, you forget about it. It is dangerous; it will remain forever.
For example, you would like me to live in poverty. I can live in poverty
very easily, there would be no problem in it. My whole life consists of
sitting in my room. If the prime minister of India decides to put me in a
jail, there would be no difference, it would be the same.
You would like this ashram to function according to your ideas...
Just the other day one German sannyasin was saying, "My girlfriend was to
come, but she is put-off because of your car. That's why she has not come. "
I am so grateful to her I Now, I can have a third-rate Indian car and that
will not put you off, but it will put you on, and you will feel very, very
great. In fact, I can come just walking because I don't need the car at all!
It is just a question of two minutes' walk. I never go out, you know. The
car is not needed.
So why is the car there? And why the costliest? Just to put your
girlfriends off. I am tired of your girlfriends I It is very good of her
that she has not come.
Just think, if I were sitting in poverty, in rags, and in an Indian kind of
dirtiness, your girlfriend would have thought, "Oh, here is the real
Master," and she would have believed -- but she would have believed in her
own mind, not in me. She would have believed in her own expectations, not in
me. I would have been secondary. Her expectations are fulfilled: that's why
she believes. She believes in herself, not in me.
I am going to flout all your expectations, and only then if you believe in
me, do you believe. Then the trust is real.
AFTER A CONSIDERABLE PERIOD OF TIME, THE DISCIPLE RECEIVED A LETTER FROM
THE SAGE. IT SAID, "TAKE ALL THE MONEY YOU HAVE AND GIVE IT TO THE
GATE-KEEPER OF ANY BROTHEL."
Now what kind of advice is this? Just think of yourself, if I gave you
something like this... and I go on giving something like this.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED....
And naturally. You cannot be angry with the disciple; that's how human
beings are. They are always watching by the corner of their eye, they are
always suspicious. Even if they believe, trust, it is only on the surface,
only so far. They can go with you only to a certain extent, and then their
mind starts refusing: "This is too much. I cannot go beyond it. What do you
think of me? Am I a fool?"
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED....
And when you are shocked, you think, naturally, that something is wrong
with the Master. This is sheer unintelligence, because the Master may
deliberately be shocking you. The shock may be a shock-treatment. You can
ask the psychiatrists, who are slowly, slowly being known as "shockiatrists"
-- they have started giving electric shocks to people, insulin shocks to
people. But the Master may have known it all along, that at some time a real
shock is very good to the system. It shakes you alive, it helps you come to
your senses, it gives you vitality, it makes you again alert.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A
FRAUD.
And you have to understand the disciple -- because he is you! He is the
quintessence of all so-called disciples in the world. Suspicion has arisen:
"Now this Master seems to be a fraud. He must be having some illicit
relationship with some brothel, now I have to pay. This is very tricky! What
kind of order is this? And with no explanation attached to it. "
The Master never gives explanations. The Master simply gives you an order,
and it has to be done. If you ask for the explanation you have missed the
opportunity, because explanations can be given but they only satisfy your
reason. And if your reason is satisfied and then you do something, it is not
trust. It does not help your trust to grow.
McGinnis was dying. The lawyer came to make his will, and his wife, Bridget
McGinnis, saw to it that she sat in on this important ceremonial.
"State your debts as quickly as possible." said the man of law.
"Tim Reilly owes me forty dollars," moaned the sick man.
"Good," said the prospective widow.
"Sean O'Neill owes me thirty-seven dollars."
"Sensible to the last," beamed the wife.
"To Michael Callahan I owe two hundred dollars."
"Blessed Mother of God! Hear the man rave!"
Now the thing has changed. When it goes with you it is profitable to you.
When it is fulfilling your expectations it's perfectly good, "Sensible to
the last." But now? -- "Blessed Mother of God I Hear the man rave! "... the
man is mad. If you have to pay two hundred dollars to somebody, then the man
is utterly mad. This is the way mind functions, and the mind thinks that
this is the intelligent way.
The wedding ceremony was going on when finally the minister asked the
bride, "Will you obey your husband?" "Do you think I am a fool?"
This is becoming more and more a settled attitude in the world. That's why
religion has evaporated. It has become a settled thing in the minds of
people that to believe is to be a fool, to trust is to be stupid; not to
trust and to doubt continuously is the way of intelligence. It is not.
Yes, if you are in scientific research work, doubt is intelligent, but if
you are inquiring within your consciousness, then trust is intelligent.
Intelligence knows what method is needed, and where. Intelligence never
messes around with different methods which are useful in different
directions. Intelligence knows what to do in a certain situation -- when to
use your eyes and when to use your ears, and when to use your doubt and when
to use your trust.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A
FRAUD. AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE
NEAREST HOUSE OF ILLFAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE
MONEY WHICH HE HAD.
Yes, there were many doubts, but still deep down there was some trust.
That's why the Master had sent him away -- to struggle on his own -- because
if he could find some tacit trust somewhere inside himself, he will have
found the rock on which the temple of life can be built. Had he been in the
presence of the Master, he would have immediately said "Yes, sir." He would
have gone and given the money, but that would not have been of much help. It
would have been superficial, and the doubt would have remained and would
have come in some way or other -- and with vengeance.
It always happens. If I say to you to do something and you do it because
trust is required -- that's why you do it -- and the doubt is there but you
keep it repressed, then sooner or later it will start coming, in different
ways. It will start finding new outlets. It will poison you.
Trust is good if it comes without repressing doubts, if it gives doubts
full expression and then surfaces, if it gives doubts all opportunities and,
then too, ultimately wins over. That was the device of sending the disciple
far away for a long time.
THE DISCIPLE WAS SHOCKED, AND FOR A TIME THOUGHT THAT THE MASTER MUST BE A
FRAUD. ... AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS...
That wrestling is of importance. Now he was divided. A part of him was
saying "How can the Master be a fraud?" He has known him, he has been in
intimate closeness with the Master, he has seen the man with his own eyes,
he has felt his life, his light, he understands what he is. A part of his
heart goes on saying "Trust", but the whole mind, the outward-going mind,
creates a thousand and one doubts.
The struggle is between the mind and the heart, the outgoing energy and the
ingoing energy. The struggle is between exhalation and inhalation. And it is
good to go through this turmoil.
The groups that I give to you are really devices to go through this
turmoil: they create a thousand and one situations in which trust is needed.
And naturally all kinds of doubts arise, and you have to wrestle and you
have to fight your way out of the mess. If you can fight your way out of it,
if you can go through and through and come out of it intact, something
tremendously valuable has been achieved. So the purpose of the same groups
in the West is different; the purpose here is totally different.
The purpose in the West is somehow to help you to become a little more
mature about your life, a little more accepting of your life, to make you a
little more alert so that you can function in a better way, so that you
don't go unnecessarily into neurotic patterns. The purpose of these same
groups in the West is psychological.
Here it is not only psychological. Yes, it is that, but more is implied: it
is spiritual. The psychological purpose is only minor; the spiritual purpose
is major. The spiritual purpose is to bring your whole turmoil to the
surface. All your doubts, all possible doubts that you may have carried for
many lives have to be brought to the surface, because only from the surface
can they evaporate and disappear. They have to be brought out of the
basement, out of your conscious, unconscious, collective unconscious. From
every level of your being they have to be brought to the surface where you
can encounter them.
And it is not only a question of becoming a little more mature, a little
more accepting, a little less neurotic, a little more normal, no: the
purpose is to help you to grow into trust. That is not the purpose in the
West.
God is not the purpose of all the humanistic psychotherapy groups in the
West. God is the purpose here.
That's why sometimes it happens that when a therapist from the West comes,
if he is very arrogant, egoistic, and if he thinks that he knows all about
these groups, he is not much benefited, because he does not know that we are
using these groups as a means to some faraway end.
That's what happened to Geet Govind. When he came from Esalen and
participated in one group, he became very much annoyed, angry. But he was
cowardly too. He didn't say anything to me; he should have said something.
If he had any guts he should have said to me, "This is not the way to run
the groups." He didn't say a thing, he simply escaped. And now he is trying
to create anti-propaganda against me in Esalen.
Here he was crying and weeping in front of me, tears were rolling down from
his eyes, and now he is trying to create propaganda against me there. What
has happened?
He had come with his fixed ideas -- that "This is the way an encounter
group should be" -- unaware that here things are being done in a different
way, for a different purpose. If he had asked me, things would have been
clear to him, but he was not even courageous enough to ask that. He simply
escaped.
Now just the other day, Amit Prem received a letter from Esalen. Amit Prem
runs a few therapy groups there in Esalen, and he introduces my methods,
meditations, my ideas, my ways, into his groups. Now he has received a
letter that "Rajneesh has to be totally dropped; only then will you be
allowed to run groups here. You will have to restructure your groups and
their methods." This is happening to a few others too.
Whenever you come with a fixed idea, whoever you are, you are going to get
into trouble with me. You are going to get into confusion here. You will
have to be very very available, understanding. You will have to put your
expectations aside.
Sometimes the same methods are used, but for a different purpose. Here the
whole purpose of all the therapy groups is not only psychological. I am not
interested much in your psychology. If I have to work on it, it is only
because you are stuck there. My whole interest is in your spirituality.
I work on your psychology so that you can be freed from the entanglements
of your mind and you can become available to higher flights of spirit. I am
not interested in the rocks, but I have to do something because rocks are
hanging around your neck and they have to be dropped. Only then can you open
your wings... and the flight from the alone to the alone can start.
Geet Govind just missed the whole point. And now, the way he is behaving,
he himself is closing the door to his ever coming back to me. I am available
and will remain available. I see some potential in the man, something is
possible in him, but he is missing an opportunity just for having been here
for a few days without understanding anything, without talking at all to me.
And I had asked him thrice, "How are you feeling?" because I continuously
had the feeling that his crying and weeping was superficial, that the
surrender that he showed towards me was only on the surface, deep down he
has a very egoistic attitude; sooner or later he would take revenge.
And that's what he is doing now -- now he is taking revenge. Now he must be
feeling very guilty that he cried and wept and touched my feet. Now he has
to do something to satisfy his ego that all that was wrong, that "I was
deluded", that "Forget all about it", that it was just an episode, that it
doesn't matter much, that it doesn't mean much -- "This is my reality --
what I am doing now".
I feel sorry for the man. If he had been a little more open and vulnerable
here, this duality would have dropped.
And this is my observation about him: that he needs crying, he needs
surrender, not only from the surface but from the deepest core. But he
didn't give an opportunity to me and to my people. We were trying to create
the turmoil in him. He had to wrestle, but he escaped, and now he is
wrestling there, alone. And it is not of much we.
... AFTER WRESTLING WITH HIMSELF FOR DAYS, HOWEVER, HE WENT TO THE NEAREST
HOUSE OF ILL FAME AND PRESENTED THE MAN AT THE DOOR WITH ALL THE MONEY WHICH
HE HAD.
Finally, the trust wins love. And when trust wins over without repressing
the doubts, it has a truth in it.
"FOR SUCH A SUM OF MONEY," SAID THE DOORMAN, "I SHALL ALLOT YOU THE
CHOICEST GEM OF OUR COLLECTION, AN UNTOUCHED WOMAN. "
AS SOON AS HE ENTERED THE ROOM, THE WOMAN THERE SAID, "I HAVE BEEN TRICKED
INTO BEING IN THIS HOUSE, AND AM HELD HERE BY FORCE AND THREATS. IF YOUR
SENSE OF JUSTICE IS STRONGER THAN YOUR REASON FOR COMING HERE, HELP ME TO
ESCAPE."
THEN THE DISCIPLE KNEW THE MEANING OF THE POEM OF HAFEZ, "IF YOUR TEACHER
BIDS YOU STAIN YOUR PRAYER CARPET WITH WINE, OBEY HIM."
Trust knows how to obey. Trust only knows obedience. And through obedience,
the ego slowly, slowly disappears. The question is between ego and
egolessness. The Master's whole function is how to help you to die as an
ego, and all kinds of means and methods have to be used.
Remember it. Don't escape too early. Give a chance to this alchemical lab.
All kinds of turmoils will be created, deliberately created. All kinds of
doubts will be provoked, deliberately provoked. You will be given absurd
orders to be fulfilled.
Don't escape like Geet Govind. He has missed an opportunity. He may not
come across such opportunity for many lives. It is still not too late; he
can come. My doors are always open.
But one has to remember it: don't come here to be supported in your ego and
your expectations. Come here to die!
If you love me, I am going to kill you. And only when you are killed, one
day, will you have the opportunity to kill me. And that day is the greatest
day: when the Master and disciple both are killed -- then only that which
is, is left. God is in the Master, God is in the disciple.
When the disciple and the Master have both disappeared, only God is left.
And that is the goal of Sufism, and that is the goal of all religions, and
that is the goal for which we are working here.
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