THE ENERGY ENHANCEMENT MEDITATION COURSE BY VIDEO
VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Doubt or faith, life or death; the bases of different paths
VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA VOL1
Doubt or faith, life or death; the bases of different paths
I FEEL THAT NEITHER AM I THE FEELING TYPE ALTOGETHER, NOR AM I THE INTELLECTUAL TYPE. I AM A MIXED TYPE. SHOULD I DO TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF TECHNIQUES ALTERNATIVELY? PLEASE GUIDE.
This
is a significant question. Many things will have to be understood. One:
whenever you feel that you are neither the intellectual type nor the
emotional type, know well that you belong to the intellectual type, because
confusion is part of it. The emotional type is never confused. One who
belongs to the emotional type will not feel such confusion. Emotion is
always total and whole, intellect is always fragmented, divided, confused.
That is the very nature of intellect. Why? Because intellect depends on
doubt and emotion depends on faith. Wherever doubt is, division will be, and
doubt can never be total. How can it be? The very nature of doubt is
doubting. It can NEVER be total! You cannot doubt a thing totally. If you
doubt a thing totally, it becomes faith.
Doubt is always confusion, and basically, when you doubt, you also doubt
your doubt. You cannot be certain about it. A doubting mind cannot be even
certain about doubt. So layers of confusion will be there, and each layer
will be based on another layer of doubt and confusion.
The intellectual type always feels this way. The feeling will always be
there that "I am nowhere, I do not belong anywhere," or "Sometimes I am here
and sometimes there, sometimes this and sometimes that." But the emotional
type is at ease with himself. Because trust is the base, emotion is not
divided, it is whole, individual. So if you have any doubt, if you cannot
feel certain to what type you belong, know well you belong to the
intellectual type. Then practise techniques which are meant for the
intellectual type. If you do not feel any confusion, then only do you belong
to the emotional type, the feeling type.
For example, a Ramakrishna: he is a feeling type. You cannot create doubt
in him; that is impossible, because a doubt can be created only when
basically the doubt exists already. No one can create doubt in you if it is
not already hidden there. Others can only help it to come out, they cannot
create it. Neither can faith be created. That too others can help to
manifest, to come out.
Your basic type cannot be changed, so it is very essential to know your
basic type - because if you are doing something which doesn't suit you, fit
with you, you are wasting time and energy. And you will get more and more
confused because of your wrong efforts. Neither can doubt be created in you,
nor faith. You already have the seed of either this or that. If you have
doubt, then it is better not to think of faith at all, because that will be
a deception and hypocrisy. If you have doubt, do not be afraid -- Even doubt
can lead to the divine. You have to use it.
I will repeat, even doubt can lead to the divine - because if your doubt
can destroy the divine, then it is stronger, more powerful than the divine.
Even doubt can be used, it can be made a technique. But do not deceive.
There are persons who go on teaching that if you have doubts, you can never
reach to the divine. So what to do? Then you have to force it underneath,
suppress it, hide it, create a false belief. But that will be only on the
surface, it will never touch your soul. Deep down you will remain in doubt,
and just on the surface a facade will be created of belief.
That is the difference between faith and belief. Belief is always false.
Faith is a quality; belief is a concept. Faith is the quality of your mind;
belief is just acquired. So those who have doubt and are afraid of it, they
cling to beliefs; they say, "I believe," but they have no faith. Deep down
they know their doubt. They are always afraid of it. If you touch, criticize
their belief, they will immediately get angry. Why? Why the anger, this
irritation? They are not irritated by you, they are irritated by their own
doubt which you are helping to come up. If a man of faith is there you can
criticize him and he is not going to get angry, because you cannot destroy
faith.
A Ramakrishna is the type, or a Chaitanya or a Meera - they are feeling
types. One of the most beautiful minds of Bengal, Keshav Chandra, went to
meet Ramakrishna. He went not just to meet him, but to defeat him, because
Ramakrishna was just an illiterate, not a scholar at all. And Keshav Chandra
was one of the greatest minds ever born on Indian soil, one of the most
keen, logical intellects. It was certain that Ramakrishna would be defeated.
When Keshav Chandra came, all the intellectuals of Calcutta gathered at
Dakshineshwar just to see Ramakrishna defeated. Keshav Chandra started
arguing, but he must have felt very awkward because Ramakrishna enjoyed his
arguments very much - in fact, too much. When he would propose some argument
against God, Ramakrishna would start jumping, dancing.
He felt very awkward, so he said, "What are you doing? You have to answer
my arguments." Ramakrishna is reported to have said, "By my seeing you, my
faith is strengthened. Such an intellect is impossible without God." That is
how a feeling type looks at things. "And I predict," said Ramakrishna, "that
sooner or later you will be a greater devotee than me because you have a
greater mind. With such a mind, how can you fight the divine? With such a
keen mind? Even a fool, an idiot like me, has reached. How can you remain
without reaching?"
He was not angry, not arguing, but he defeated Keshav Chandra. Keshav
Chandra touched his feet and he said, "You are the first theist I have met
with whom argument is futile. Looking at your eyes, looking at you and the
way you have behaved with me, this is the first glimpse for me that the
divine is possible. You are the proof without giving any proof." Ramakrishna
became the proof.
The intellectual type has to proceed through doubt. Do not force any belief
upon yourself; that will be deceiving yourself. You cannot deceive anyone
else, you can only deceive yourself. Do not force; be authentic. If doubt is
your nature, then proceed through doubt. Doubt as much as possible, and do
not choose any technique which is based on faith -- that is not for you.
Choose some technique which is scientifically experimental. No need to
believe.
There are two types of methods. One is experimental. You are not told to
believe, you are told to do it, and the consequence will be the belief, the
faith. A scientist cannot believe. He can take a hypothesis to work on, to
experiment with, and if the experiment comes out righ, if the experiment
proves that the hypothesis is right, then he reaches to a conclusion. Faith
is achieved through experiment. So there are techniques in these one hundred
and twelve techniques which do not require any faith on your part.
That is why Mahavir, Buddha, they are intellectual types, just as
Ramakrishna and Chaitanya are feeling types. Because of this Buddha says
that there is no need to believe in God; there is no God. He says, "Do what
I say, do not believe in me. Experiment with what I say, and if your
experience proves it right then you can believe it."
Buddha says, "Do not believe in me, do not believe what I say. Do not
believe something because I have said it. Experiment with it, go through it,
and until you achieve your own conclusion remain in doubt. Your own
experience will become your faith."
Mahavir said, "No need to believe in anyone - not even in the master. Just
do the technique."
Science never says to believe. It says, do the experiment, go to the lab.
This is for the intellectual type. Do not try faith before you do the
experiment. You cannot try it -- you will falsify everything. Be real unto
yourself. Remain real and authentic.
Sometimes it has happened that even atheists have reached the divine
because of finding their truth about themselves. Mahavir is an atheist; he
doesn't believe in God. Buddha is an atheist; he doesn't believe in any God.
So a miracle happened with Buddha. It is said about him that he was the most
godless man and the most god-like. Both - godless and god-like. He was
absolutely intellectual, but he reached because he never deceived himself,
he went on doing experiments. For six years continuously he was doing this
experiment and that, and he did not believe. Unless something were proven
true by experience, he would not believe it. So he would do something, and
if nothing happened he would leave it.
One day he reached. Just by doubting and doubting and doubting,
experimenting, a point came... a point came when nothing remained to be
doubted. Without any object, the doubt fell. There was no object to doubt
now. He had doubted everything, and even doubt became futile. Doubt dropped,
and in that dropping he realized. Then he realized that the doubt was not
the real thing: rather, the doubter was, and you cannot doubt the doubter.
The doubter is there to say, "No, this is not right."
It may not be right, it may be right, but who is it who is saying that this
is not right or this is right? That source of saying is right, is true. You
can say there is no God, but you cannot say, "I am not," because the moment
you say "I am not," you have accepted yourself. Who is making this
statement? You cannot deny yourself without at the same time recognizing
yourself. That is impossible.
Even to deny you have to be there. You cannot say to someone, some guest
who is knocking on the door, that "I am not in the house."How can you say
this? This is absurd,because your saying that "I am not in the house,"
proves that you are there.
Buddha doubted everything, but he could not doubt himself. When everything
was doubted and became useless, ultimately he was thrown to himself. And
there,doubt was impossible, so doubt fell. Suddenly he was awakened to his
own reality, to his own source of consciousness, the very ground of
consciousness. So he was godless, but he became god-like. Really, on this
earth a more god-like person has never walked, but his instinct was
intellectual.
Both types of techniques are there. If you feel you are intellectual,
confused, doubting, do not try faith techniques, they are not for you. Every
technique is not for everyone. If you have faith, there is no need to try
any other method - no need ! If you have faith, then try those methods which
require faith as a presupposition. But be authentic; that is basic. That is
a very essential thing to remember continuously.
It is very easy to deceive - VERY easy to deceive, because we imitate. You
may start imitating Ramakrishna without knowing that you are not of that
type. If you imitate, you will be an imitation; nothing real will happen to
you. You can imitate Buddha. This is happening every day because we are born
into religions. Because of that, much nonsense continues. You cannot be born
into a religion: you have to choose. Religion has nothing to do with blood,
bones, birth - nothing!
Someone is born a Buddhist. He may be a feeling type, but he will follow
Buddha. Then his whole life will be wasted. Someone is born an intellectual
type. He may be born a Mohammedan or he may be born into a devotional cult.
His life will be wasted and he will become false. The whole world is
irreligious because religion is foolishly associated with birth. There is no
relationship at all. You have to choose consciously, because first you have
to understand your type and then you have to choose. The world will be
deeply religious the day we allow everyone to choose his religion, method,
technique, path.
But religion has become organizational, politically organizational. That is
why the moment a child is born we force religion upon him, we condition him
into a religion. The parents are afraid that he may move into another
organization. Before he becomes conscious he must be destroyed, crippled,
forced. Before he becomes conscious and can think about things, his mind
must be conditioned so that he cannot think freely. You cannot think freely
because whatsoever you think has been preconditioned.
I was reading Bertrand Russell. He says, "Intellectually, I conceive of
Buddha as being greater than Jesus. But deep down in my heart, that is
impossible: Jesus is greater than Buddha. At the most, if I force myself,
then I will put them parallel, equal. Intellectually, I feel Buddha is a
giant. Jesus is nothing before him."
Why this feeling? Because Bertrand Russell is himself the intellectual
type, so Buddha has an appeal for him. Jesus has no appeal. But the mind has
been conditioned into Christianity. This is not truth because these
comparisons are meaningless, they simply show something about Bertrand
Russell - neither about Buddha nor about Jesus, because no comparison is
possible. For someone who is of the feeling type, Jesus will look greater
than Buddha. But if he is a Buddhist, if he is born a Buddhist it will be
difficult. His own mind will feel uneasy if he thinks that someone is
greater than Buddha. It is difficult, impossible in a way, because
whatsoever you think has been fed into you -- it has already been fed.in.
Your mind is something like a computer. The information has been fed in,
evaluation has been fed.in. You are already based on some non-sensical
concepts, traditions. You cannot throw them away easily; that is why
religion is just a word. Very few people can become religious, because very
few people can rebel against their own conditioning. Only a revolutionary
mind can become religious - a mind which can see a thing, the facts of it,
and then decide what to do.
But feel your type, try to feel your type. It is not difficult. The first
thing: if you feel confused, you are the intellectual type. If you feel
certain, trusting, then proceed with the different techniques which require
trust as a basic thing. And secondly, remember, never do both the
techniques. That will create more confusion in you. Nothing is wrong; both
are right; Ramakrishna is right, Buddha is right. Remember one thing: in
this world, many things can lead you to truth - many paths. There is no
monopoly. Even contradictory paths, absolutely contradictory paths, can lead
you to the same point.
There is no "one" path. On the contrary, if you go deep and realize, you
will come to know that there are as many paths as there are travelers,
because each individual has to proceed from the point where he is standing
already. He cannot use a ready-made path. Basically, you create your path by
your movement. There is no ready-made path already there, there are no
highways that are ready-made. But every religion tries to force on you this
idea that the path is ready and you have just to travel over it. That is
wrong. This inner search is more like the sky than the earth.
A bird is flying: he will leave no footprints in the sky. The sky will
remain a vacuum. The bird has flown -- he has not left any footprints. No
bird can follow in his footprints; The sky is always empty. Another bird,
any bird who has to fly, will create his own path.
Consciousness is like a sky, not like the earth. A Mahavir moves, a Buddha
moves, a Meera moves, a Mohammed moves... You can see their movement, you
can see their achievement, but the moment they move, the path disappears.
You cannot follow, dead-like, you cannot imitate. You have to find your own
path.
First think about your type and then choose methods. In these one hundred
and twelve methods, many are for the intellectual type, many are for the
emotional type. But do not think that because you are a mixed type you have
to follow both. That will create more confusion, and you will be divided so
deeply that you may even go mad, schizophrenic; you may become split. Do not
do that.
The second question:
Question 2
TO KNOW DEATH IS CERTAIN,YOU SAID YESTERDAY. THIS SEEMS TO BE THE APPROACH
OF BUDDHA, WHO WAS LIFE-NEGATIVE. BUT TANTRA'S APPROACH IS LIFE AFFIRMATIVE,
NOT NEGATIVE, SO HOW CAN THIS DEATH ORIENTATION BE USED IN TANTRA?
Buddha is not really life-negative. He appears so: he appears to be
live-negative because he focuses on death. To us he appears to be in love
with death, but he is not. On the contrary, he is in love with eternal life.
To find that life which is deathless, he focuses on death. Death is not his
love, he has to focus on death just to find something which is beyond death.
And Buddha says that if there is nothing beyond death then life is futile --
but only then is life futile. He never says life is futile,.he says that if
nothing is beyond death, then life is futile. And your life is futile, he
says, because your life is not beyond death. Whatsoever you think is your
life is just a part of death. You are fooled by that. You think it is life
and it is nothing but death on its way.
A man is born -- he is on his way to die. Whatsoever he becomes, whatsoever
he achieves, possesses, nothing will help: he is moving toward death. This
so-called life is moving toward death. How can we call it life? That is
Buddha's question. A life which moves toward death, how call it life? Life
which implies death inevitably is just hidden death, not life; it is gradual
death. By and by you are dying, and you go on thinking that you are living.
Right now you feel you are living, but you are dying. Every moment you are
losing life and gaining death. A tree is known by its fruits, Buddha says,
so your tree of life cannot be called life because death is the fruit. A
tree is known by its fruit, and if on your tree of life only fruits of death
come, then you were deceived by the tree. And another thing: if a tree gives
a particular fruit, it shows that that particular fruit was the seed of the
tree; otherwise that particular fruit could not come out of the tree. So if
life gives the fruit of death, death must have been the seed.
Let us understand this. You are born, and you think that birth is the
beginning -- it is not. Before this birth, you died in another life. That
death was the seed of this birth, and then again, death will become the
fruit. And that fruit will become the seed for another birth.
Birth leads to death, death precedes birth. So if you want to see life as
it really is, it is rounded on both the sides by death. Death is the
beginning and death is again the end, and life is just the illusion in
between. You feel alive between two deaths; the passage joining one death to
another you call life. Buddha says this is not life. This life is DUKKHA -
misery. This life is death. That is why he appears to us who are deeply
life-hypnotized, obsessed about being alive in any way, as life-negating. To
us, just to be alive seems to be the end. We are so much afraid of death
that Buddha appears in love with death, and that looks abnormal. He seems to
be suicidal. This is what many have criticized Buddha for.
Albert Schweitzer has criticized Buddha because he feels that Buddha is
obsessed with death. He is not obsessed with death: we are obsessed with
life. He is simply analyzing things, finding out what are the facts. And the
deeper you go, the more you will find he is right. Your life is just false,
fake, overtaken by death, just a clothing -- inside there is death. Buddha
focuses on death because he says, "If I can find out what death is, only
then can I find out what life is. And if I can know what both death and life
are, then there is a possibility that I may transcend both and know
something which is beyond birth and death, beyond both." He is not negative,
not life-denying, but he appears so.
Tantra appears life-affirmative, but that again is our interpretation.
Neither is Buddha life-denying, nor is tantra life-affirmative; the source
is the same. Buddha focuses on death, tantra focuses on life. And both are
one, so wherever you want to start, start. But go so deeply that you come to
know the other also.
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Buddha focuses on the end - death. Tantra focuses on the beginning-life.
That is why Buddha seems to be too much in love with death and tantra seems
to be too much in love with sex, love, body, life. In the end there is death
and in the beginning there is sex. Because tantra focuses itself on the
beginning, sex becomes very important. So how to go deep and know what sex
is, how to reveal the mystery of love, how to penetrate into the beginning,
into the seed, so that you can go beyond -- that is tantra's approach.
Buddha focuses on death, and he says to meditate deeply on death, move into
it and know the whole reality of it. Both are two ends of the same thing.
Sex is death, and death is very sexual. It will be difficult to understand.
There are many insects which die with their first intercourse. The first
sex act, and death occurs. There is a species of spider in Africa in which
the male dies in copulation. He cannot come down from the copulation; he is
just on the female, and he dies there. The first copulation becomes death,
and it is very horrible. At the moment of ejaculation he dies. Actually, he
is not even really dead: he is still in the pangs of death. The moment the
spider, the male spider, ejaculates, death starts and the female starts
eating him. He never dismounts. The female starts eating him, and by the
time the sexual act is finished, he is half eaten.
Sex and death are so interconnected. Because of this, man became afraid of
sex. Those who want to live more, who are fascinated with long life, they
will be always afraid of sex, and those who think that they can become
immortal, BRAHMACHARYA celibacy will be their cult. No one has yet been
immortal and no one can be because you are born out of sex. If you were born
out of BRAHMACHARYA, then it could be possible. If your father and mother
were celibates, then, then only could you be immortal.
Sex has already entered with your birth. Whether you go into sex or not
makes no difference: you cannot escape death. Your very being starts with
sex, and sex is the beginning of death. Because of this Christians say Jesus
was born from a virgin mother. Just to say that he is no mortal, no ordinary
mortal, they say he was born to a virgin mother. "He is no ordinary
mortal"... just to say this, just to say that death has no power over him,
they had to create this myth.
This is a part of a long myth. If he was born out of sex, then death would
have its power over him. Then he could not escape death, as with sex, death
enters. So they say that he was born without any sex act; he was not a by-productof
sex. They say that because he was the son of a virgin mother, he could
revive again - resurrect. They crucified him, but they could not kill him.
He remained alive because he was not a by-product of sex. They could not
kill him. If really Jesus was born out of a virgin mother, it is impossible
to kill him. It is impossible to kill him! Death is impossible! When the
beginning is not, how can the end be? If he was not born out of a virgin
mother, then death will be the certain, inevitable end.
So the whole myth has to be maintained. If you say that he was not born out
of a virgin mother, then the second part of the myth, resurrection, becomes
false. If you say he resurrected, that he denied death, escaped death, that
death could not kill him, that he could not be crucified really, that those
who were crucifying him were deceived, that he was alive and he remained
alive, then you have to maintain the first part of the myth.
I am not saying anything for or against, I am simply saying that the WHOLE
myth has to be maintained, one part only cannot be maintained. If sex is
there before birth, then death will be there. Because of this deep
association, many times many societies have become afraid of sex. That fear
is of death. Even if you accept sex, a certain fear remains there. Even if
you move into sex, a certain fear remains there. No one allows himself a
total let-go in it. The fear is there, you are on guard. You cannot go into
it totally; you cannot let yourself go completely because that let-go is
just like death.
Neither is tantra for your idea of life, nor is Buddha against the real
life. Tantra starts from one part -- the beginning; Buddha starts with the
end. And tantra is more scientific than Buddha, because it is always good to
begin at the beginning. You are already born; death is far away. Birth has
occurred -- you can work on it more deeply -- death has to occur. It is
still in the imagination; it is not a reality to you. And when you see
someone die, you never see death. You see someone dying, never the death --
the process which happens to him inside. You cannot see it; it is invisible,
it is individual. And the individual himself cannot say anything because the
moment he goes through the process he is no more. He cannot come back, he
cannot step back and tell what has happened.
So whatsoever is known about death is just inference. No one knows anything
about death actually. Unless you can remember your past lives, you cannot
actually know anything about death. You have died many times; that is why
Buddha had to revive many techniques about remembering past lives. Because
your death of this life is in the future, how can you concentrate on it? How
can you meditate on it? It has not happened yet. It is very vague, dark,
unknown. What can you do? You can only think about it, but that thinking
will also be borrowed. You will be repeating what others have said. Someone
has said something about death, and you will be repeating it. How can you
meditate on death? You can see others dying, but that is not a real entry
into it. You are just an outsider.
It is just as if someone is eating a sweet... You look at him, but how can
you feel what is happening to him, what taste, what sweetness, what
fragrance is happening to him? What is going on in him you cannot know. You
can just look at his mouth, his behavior, or you can see the expression on
his face -- but this is all inference, not actual experience.
You cannot know what is happening to him unless he says something, but
whatsoever he says will be words to you, and again not an experience. Buddha
talked about his past deaths, but no one believed him. If I tell you
something about my past deaths, deep down you will not believe it. How can
you believe it? You do not have any access to the reality of it. You are
just closed at this birth, and the death of this life has not come yet. It
always happens to others; it has not happened to you yet.
It is difficult to meditate on death. As a base, you will have to move into
past lives, you will have to go digging into past memories. Buddha, Mahavir,
they both used the technique of JAATI SMARAN -- the technique of going into
past lives. Only then can you meditate on death.
Tantra is more scientific. It starts with life, with birth, with sex, which
is a fact to you. Death is still a fiction. But remember, the end of both is
the same. They both are in search of eternal life -- life which is
deathless. Either transcend the beginning or transcend the end, either jump
from one pole or from another. And remember, you can jump out of it only
from a pole, you cannot jump from the middle.
If I want to jump out of this room, either I have to move to this side to
the extreme, or to that side to the extreme. I cannot jump out from the
middle of the room, because jumping is possible only from the extreme pole.
And there are two extreme poles in life - birth and death. Tantra starts
from birth. It is more scientific, more real. You are already in it, so you
can meditate upon it. Sex is a fact, so you can meditate upon it: you can
move deep within it.
Death is not a fact. A very rare mind is needed to conceive of death; a
very keen intellect is needed to penetrate into the future. Rarely, it
happens that a buddha will conceive of death so deeply that the future
becomes the present. But it is always for rare individuals.
Tantra can be used by anyone who has any interest, who has any desire to
search in order to know what real life is. But tantra also uses death just
to help you move inwards - not for you to meditate on it, not for you to
jump out of it, but to help you move inwards.
Buddha also talked about birth just to make it a part of the meditation on
death. The other part can be used as a help, but is not the center. Tantra
says, if you can think about death, your life will take a different meaning,
shape and significance. Your mind will start thinking in new dimensions
which without death would be difficult or even impossible. The moment you
begin to feel that this life is going to end in death, death becomes a
certainty and you cannot cling to this life: mind starts moving beyond. That
is what I was saying yesterday.
If you think about just this life, your mind will go outwards: it will go
out and out and out to the objects. If you begin to look and see that death
is hidden everywhere, then you cannot cling to objects. Your mind will start
moving inwards.
Just the other day a young girl came to me. She is an Indian girl who fell
in love with an American boy. But after she fell in love and they were just
thinking and planning to get married, the boy fell ill and it was
discovered, diagnosed, that he had a certain type of cancer that is
incurable. Death was certain. He could be alive two or three or four years
at the most. The boy tried to persuade the girl not to marry him now. He
said, "Death is so certain, why waste your life with me?"
But the more he insisted -- this is how the mind functions -- the more the
girl became adamant about wanting to marry him. This is how mind works -- in
paradoxes. If I would have been in the place of that boy, I would have
insisted on marrying;then the girl would have escaped. Then there was no
possibility of marriage. Then I would not have seen that girl again. But the
boy insisted - out of his love, but out of a foolish mind, without knowing
how mind functions -- that she should not marry him. Anyone would have done
the same. And because he was insisting, the girl felt it to be a matter of
conscience: she insisted to marry.
Then they got married. Now, after marriage, the girl is surrounded
constantly by death. She is sad; she cannot love the boy. It is easy to die
for anyone,.it is very difficult to live. It is very easy to die... to be a
martyr is such an easy thing. It is such an easy thing to be a martyr
because it is a momentary thing: you can do it in a single moment.
If you love me and I say, "Jump out of this building," you can jump because
you feel you love me. But if I say, "Okay, now live with me for thirty
years," it is very difficult - VERY difficult!
You can become a martyr in a single moment. To die for someone, for
something, is the easiest thing in the world; to live for something is the
most arduous and difficult thing. She became a martyr, but now she has to
live enclosed in death's presence. She cannot love. She cannot see the face
of her husband, because the moment she sees it the cancer is there, the
death is there just by the corner. Any moment it can happen, so she is in
constant agony.
What has happened? Death has become a certainty. Now life has no interest
for her, everything has dropped and has become death. She came from America
just to meet me . She wants to meditate because life seems futile. Life has
become equivalent to cancer, so now she has come here to ask me, "Teach me
meditation. How can I move beyond life?" Unless life becomes futile you
never think about moving beyond it.
I told her that apparently her marriage looks very unfortunate, but it may
prove very fortunate. Everyone's husband is going to die, but it is not
certain. Everybody's wife is going to die, but it is not certain. Death is
certain, only the date is not certain. And who knows, even the date may be
certain -- you do not know. That is why ignorance is very blissful. She
could have loved that boy if still they were ignorant; apparently nothing
would be wrong. But now love has become impossible, life has become
impossible. Death is always there, constantly present between the two of
Them.
So I asked her, "Why are you not loving him more because he is going to
die? Love him more."
She said, "How can I love? We are always three; the privacy is lost. I am
there and my husband is there, and between we two, Death. There is no
privacy left."
Death is too much; it is impossible to live with. It can become a turning.
If you can become aware of death, says tantra, use it as a turning inwards.
No need to go into details about death, no need to go on contemplating about
it. Do not make it an obsession. Just the awareness that death is there will
help you to move inwards, to be meditative.
The third question :
Question 3
HOW CAN THE MIND BE TRANSCENDED AND TRANSFORMED ONLY BY BRINGING THE BODY
TO A DEATH-LIKE STATE?
The mind is constantly active. While you are active meditation is
impossible, because meditation means a deep inactivity. You can know
yourself only when everything has become still, silent and quiet. Only then,
in that silence, do you happen to encounter yourself. Otherwise, in activity
you are so much occupied with something or other, you cannot feel your own
presence. You go on forgetting yourself. Continuously, with this or that
object, you go on forgetting yourself.
Activity means being related with something outside. You are active because
you are related with something outside, doing something outside. Inactivity
means you have returned home; you are not doing anything. In Greek language,
leisure is called schole. The English word school comes from this Greek
word; School means leisure. You can learn something only when you are at
leisure; learning happens in leisure. If you are active, doing this and
that, you cannot learn.
Schools were for the leisure class - those who could afford leisure. Their
children were sent to schools, to places of leisure. They were not to do
anything but learn; they were allowed total inactivity as far as the world
was concerned. They were freed from all worldly activity, and then they
could learn.
The phenomenon is similar if you want to learn about your own presence: you
will have to be completely inactive - COMPLETELY inactive, just being, not
doing anything. All the ripples must cease, all activity must evaporate. You
are, simply. YOU ARE! In that moment, for the first time you become aware of
your own presence. Why? Because the presence is so subtle. Occupied with a
gross object, engaged with gross activity, you cannot become aware of such a
subtle presence. It is a very silent music, your presence. And you are so
much filled with noise ,and every type of noise is occupying you, that you
cannot hear that still, small voice within.
Cease being engaged in outward noises and activities. Then that still,
small voice, for the first time is heard; that soundless sound, that
soundless music is felt. You enter the subtle and leave the gross. Activity
is gross; inactivity is subtle. And your presence is the most subtle thing
in the world. To feel that, you will have to cease; you will have to be
absent from everywhere so that your total presence comes in and you can
encounter yourself. That is why in many techniques it is suggested to make
your body as if it is dead. It means simply being inactive like a dead man.
While you are meditating, let your body enter death. It will be
imagination, but even that will help. Do not ask how imagination can help.
Imagination has its own function. For example, now scientific experiments
are done... You sit down, there is a doctor, and he is observing your pulse
rate. Inside, you just start being angry; you imagine that you are fighting,
angry -- your pulse rate will go higher.
Inside, just imagine you are dying, that you are just going to die. Become
silent and feel death descending. Your pulse rate will come down. The pulse
rate is a physical thing, and you were just imagining. Imagination is not
unreal; it is also real. If you can really imagine, even real death can
occur. If you can really imagine, you can affect physical things.
You might have observed some display of hypnosis. Or if not, you can do
this easily at home; it is not difficult, it is very easy. Use your child as
the medium. If the child is a girl, it is better than using a boy, because a
boy is more doubting than a girl, and a boy is always in a fighting mood
instead of a cooperative mood. A boy means that - a fighting mood.
Cooperation is needed. Just tell the child to relax, and go on suggesting,
"You are going into a deep trance, going into a deep trance, going into a
deep trance, falling asleep. Your eyelids are becoming heavy, heavy,
heavier..." And use a monotonous voice: "Heavier, heavier, heavier..." Let
your voice be monotonous, as if you are also becoming sleepy.
Within five minutes the child will be fast asleep. This is not ordinary
sleep, this is a hypnotic trance. It is basically, qualitatively different
from sleep, because now the child can hear only your voice. There is nothing
else that he or she can hear. If someone else talks, the child is deaf. If
you talk -- the person who has hypnotized him -- he can still hear. he will
follow your orders.
Try to do some experiments. Say to the child, "This is a burning hot coal
that I am putting in your hand. You will be burned." Put any ordinary thing
in the child's hand - a piece of stone that is cold, with nothing hot about
it. The child will throw it immediately because the mind has the suggestion
that it is a burning coal, hot, and that his or her hand is going to be
burned. He will throw it, he will scream as if he has touched something hot.
But a miracle happens. You will come to know that his hand is really
burned. What is happening? There was no possibility of being burned by a
cold stone, but the child is burned exactly as if there was a burning coal
put in his hand. It was just imagination. That is why those who have
penetrated the human mind, they say that imagination is as real a fact as
anything. Imagination is not JUST imagination, because it results in actual
fact.
Do this experiment... Fall down on the ground, lie still and feel you are
going to die. The body is becoming dead. By and by you will feel a heaviness
coming over the body. The whole body will become a dead weight, a lead
weight. Tell yourself that "Even if I want to remove my hand from the
position where it is, I cannot move it. "Then try to remove it, and you will
not be able to do so. Now the imagination is working.
In this state where you feel the body has become a dead weight, you can cut
yourself off from the world of activity easily. That is why this is
suggested. You can now become inactive because you are dead. Now you can
feel that everything has died and the bridge from you to the world is
broken. The body is the bridge. If the body is dead, you cannot do anything.
Can you do anything without the body? You cannot do anything without the
body.
Any activity is through the body. Mind can think about it but cannot do it.
You have become impotent; you cannot do anything. You are inside, the world
is outside. the vehicle is dead and the bridge is broken. In this state of
the body being dead and the bridge being broken, your energy will start
moving inwards, because there is no way to move out. The outer way is closed
and blocked, so now you move inwards. See yourself standing at the heart
center; look within at the details of the body. You will feel very strange
when for the first time you can look from within your own body.
Tantra, yoga, ayurveda, all the old physiologies, all the old physiological
doctrines, their work was revealed and made known through such inner
meditative techniques. Modern physiology is known through dissection, but
ancient physiology was known through meditation, not dissection. And now
there is a school, a school of very avant-garde medical thinkers who say
that when you dissect a body and come to know something, you come to know
something which is dead - and whatsoever is inferred from a dead part is
irrelevant to a live body.
They may be right. If you take my blood out and then examine it, you are
examining dead blood. It is not the same blood which was in me. Outwardly it
is the same, but in me it was a live process, a live current, alive, part of
a mechanism, of an organic whole. Now it is dead. It is as if you pull my
eyes out and then examine them. When they were with me I was behind them and
in them. Now they are dead stones, and whatsoever you come to know about
those eyes is not about my eyes, because the basic, essential part is
missing: I am not there.
Those eyes were part of a big whole. Their whole quality consisted in being
part of a big whole. Now they are independent, not part of anything. The
pattern is lost, the live contact is lost. All the traditions of yoga and
tantra say that unless you can come to know the living body, your knowledge
is false. But how to come to know the living body? There is only one way:
you enter into yourself, and move within to see the details of the body. A
different world was revealed through these techniques, an alive world.
So the first thing: be centered at the heart, and look around at your body,
move. Two things will happen. One: you will not feel now that you are the
body -- you cannot feel it. You are the observer, one who is aware, alert,
looking at, not being looked at. For the first time the body will become
just a clothing; you will be different from it. And the second thing:
immediately you will feel, "I cannot die."
This will seem strange -- using a method, an imaginary method of death, and
then coming to the deathless point. You will come to know suddenly, "I
cannot die." You have seen others who have died. What happened to them?
Their bodies became dead; that is why you inferred that they were dead. Now
you can see that the whole body is lying dead, and you are alive.
So bodily death is not your death. The body dies, and you move on. And if
you persist in this technique, the time is not very far away when you can
come out of your body and look at your body from without, at your body lying
dead just before you. It is not very difficult. Once you experience this,
you will never be the same person again. You will be reborn; you will become
DWIJ - twice born. Now a new life starts.
I was telling you yesterday about one astrologer who had promised to work
on my life's birth chart. He died before he had done it, so his son had to
prepare the chart, but he was also puzzled. He said, "It is almost certain
that this child is going to die at the age of twenty-one. Every seven years
he will have to face death." So my parents, my family, were always worried
about my death. Whenever I would come to the end of a seven-year cycle, they
would become afraid. And he was right. At the age of seven I survived, but I
had a deep experience of death - not of my own, but of the death of my
maternal grandfather. And I was so much attached to him that his death
appeared to be my own death.
In my own childish way I imitated his death. I would not eat for three days
continuously, would not drink water, because I felt that if I did so it
would be a betrayal. I loved him so much, he loved me so much, that when he
was alive I was never allowed to go to my parents. I was with my maternal
grandfather. He said, "When I die, only then can you go." He lived in a very
small village, so I couldn't go to any school because there was no school.
He would never leave me, but then the time came when he died. He was part
and parcel of me. I had grown with his presence, his love.
When he died I felt that it would be a betrayal to eat. Now I didn't want
to live. It was childish, but through it something very deep happened. For
three days I remained lying down: I would not come out of the bed. I said,
"Now that he is dead, I do not want to live." I survived, but those three
days became a death experience. I died in a way, and I came to realize --
now I can tell about it, though at that time it was just a vague experience
-- I came to feel that death is impossible. This was a feeling.
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