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Chapter 8: The Real Magic

Question 3

 

 

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The third question

Question 3

OSHO, YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THE NAME OF DEVADATTA, AND MANY PEOPLE SAY TO ME THAT HE WAS THE GUY WHO TRIED TO KILL GAUTAM THE BUDDHA MANY TIMES. THEN WHY HAVE YOU GIVEN ME SUCH A NAME?

Devadatta,

THE NAME in itself is very beautiful. It means: given by God, by the grace of God, a gift of God. It means exactly what the English name John means. John means: a gracious gift of God. Devadatta also means the same. It was just a coincidence that this was also the name of the man who tried to kill Gautam Buddha many times.

He was Gautam Buddha's cousin-brother, and he was very jealous. He became a disciple of Buddha, but because he was a cousin-brother, almost of the same age, and they had studied in the same school and they hid played together and they had hunted together, he felt that he was equal to Buddha. And Buddha told him many times, "Not only ate you equal to me, everybody is equal to me. The moment I became enlightened, all questions of inferiority or superiority disappeared. Even rocks are equal to me -- because it is all one existence."

But that was not enough to satisfy him, because Buddha was the great Master and he was just a disciple amongst thousands of disciples, just a nobody. Finally he conspired against Buddha. He collected a few disciples and betrayed Buddha, hoping that many more followers would come to him. But nobody came to him, just those few people, and even they slowly started deserting him --  because he had nothing to give to them. No truth was there in his experience yet; he was as unconscious as they were. So for a few days he could deceive them -- he was a great intellectual but not an enlightened person -- he could argue well, he could convince people intellectually, but that does not satisfy the deep longing of the heart to attain the truth.

People slowly deserted him. Then he became very angry, enraged. Then there was only one possibility for him: to kill Buddha. He tried many times but failed, always failed.

The story is told:

Devadatta was despairing after his latest attempt to assassinate the Buddha had failed. "It looks like that guy really is divine," he sighed reluctantly to his chief assassin. "I really can't get to him!"

In desperation at his own failure as a seeker, he decided to end it all.

"Oh well," he said, "I can will the insurance money to his sangham, maybe that will earn me some merit. Tell me, old friend, how much will you charge to bump me off?"

His Old associate looked at him for a moment and said, "Oh, Devadatta, for you I will do it free!"

Remember one thing: the person who kills and the person who commits suicide are not different people. The person who wants to murder somebody is the same person who can murder himself. Psychologists have still to discover the fact that these two people are not different. It is the same energy, the same violence. Turned on the other it becomes murder; turned on oneself it becomes suicide. Going extrovert it is murderous; going introvert it is suicidal.

Devadatta failed to Kill Buddha; in that failure he thought of committing suicide. The same happened to Judas. Indians are thinkers not doers, so Devadatta really never committed suicide, he only thought of it. But Judas really committed suicide, the next day, the very next day. One day Jesus was crucified, the next day Judas committed suicide. He was the man responsible for Jesus' murder: he sold Jesus for only thirty silver coins. But once Jesus was killed the whole scene changed, the whole context changed.

In fact, it is something worth understanding: if you lose your friend you don't lose much, but if you lose your enemy you lose much. The moment your great enemy dies something in you becomes empty, because you were fighting with him, you were engaged with him, you were occupied with the idea. Now there is nothing to do -- all is finished.

Judas was contemplating for months and years how to finish Jesus, not knowing that the moment Jesus was finished he would feel absolutely empty and meaningless. His whole meaning was around Jesus. And that's what actually happened. The next day he felt so empty, so futile, that he committed suicide.

This happens to everybody in different ways, in different situations, and everybody has to understand it.

Just the other day Sheela wrote me a letter saying that since Chinmaya's death she is feeling very empty and continuously remembering Chinmaya, and that her relationship with Veetrag is almost on the rocks. Some barrier has arisen between them; they are not as attuned to each other as they were when Chinmaya was alive.

When Chinmaya was alive, to fall in love with Veetrag was not really falling in love with Veetrag but just a way of escaping from Chinmaya. Sheela was very happy and the relationship with Veetrag was going great. And I was afraid that the day Chinmaya died the relationship with Veetrag might die also -- it depended on Chinmaya's existence. Once Chinmaya was gone the whole conflict with Chinmaya was gone too. And now the mind remembers all the sweet memories and the beauty of the person.

And certainly he was a beautiful person. He lived beautifully, he died beautifully. He suffered much, but he suffered in a graceful way. And I can understand Sheela's difficulty. To live with a person who was constantly ill, who for years was almost on his deathbed . . . I knew him for at least eight years and throughout those eight years he was on his deathbed. Now you can love a person who has dengue fever -- two, three days, it's okay; or even hepatitis  -- three to six weeks, one can conceive the end of it.

I have every compassion for Sheela. It was difficult, very difficult, to live with a person who was bound to die. The doctors in the West had said that he could not survive more than two years; he survived eight years. Those eight years were a long suffering for Sheela, and certainly she wanted some distraction, some place where she could forget Chinmaya completely. He had to be looked after twenty-four hours a day, round the clock, and Sheela served him as lovingly as it is possible in a human way. The whole night he was suffering, coughing. His breathing was hard, noisy, wheezing continuously; the whole body was in pain. It was a torture. He was witnessing it all and he was growing, but for Sheela it was far more of a torture, and she wanted some distraction.

Falling in love with Veetrag had nothing to do with Veetrag. That's my observation: that Veetrag or anybody else would have been the same. It was an excuse, but while Chinmaya lived the love affair continued. Now Chinmaya is no more. I was afraid: now some barrier was bound to come between Sheela and Veetrag, because the person from whom she was trying to escape for a few moments at least, to forget and to drown herself in somebody . . . Veetrag was just like an intoxicant, a tranquilizer, an occupation, so she could forget all about Chinmaya and his illness. It was needed, it was good, so I was not against it; I favored it. I said, "It is perfectly good." But the fear was there that once Chinmaya was gone, then what would happen? -- because the source was in Chinmaya; she was withdrawing from Chinmaya. Now there is nothing to withdraw from.

So Veetrag started getting farther and farther away, and Sheela is puzzled why it is happening because now she has twenty-four hours a day available for Veetrag. Why is there a barrier coming? It never came while Chinmaya was alive.

This is simple psychology, and everybody has to understand it. You go on doing many things for reasons you are not aware of; you become aware only when those reasons disappear.

Now this relationship can only be somehow carried on; it cannot have the same flavor. It was a negative relationship, it was not a positive relationship. It is bound to wither away sooner or later. And if they both understand it then they can allow it to wither away joyfully, thankfully, because whatsoever it has given to them was beautiful. Why ask for more? Why be greedy? When the time comes to let go of a thing one should be capable of letting it go.

I can understand the trouble for Sheela: Chinmaya has gone and this relationship is disappearing. She seems to be left absolutely alone. Don't be worried at all, Sheela, because out of absolute aloneness something tremendously beautiful will arise which can never arise in your so-called relationships. And if you can become capable of being alone, if you start rejoicing it, if you start dancing it, then there will be a possibility of a totally new kind of relating with people. You may love again, but that love will be out of abundance -- because you have too much, so you want to share it. Otherwise, because we are empty inside we want to stuff ourselves with somebody else's energy -- and he is also empty. Two beggars trying and hoping that "The other is rich and I am going to get something from the other," are bound to fail, are bound to feel frustrated. They are doomed.

I was going to call Sheela and tell her this, but then I thought it was better to tell you all because this is an experience which is significant for everybody, because everybody has to pass through such experiences.

 

Next: Chapter 8: The Real Magic, Question 4

 

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Chapter 8

 

 

 

 
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