Indian, Gorakh, Death is Divine Chapter 2: The call of the unknown, Question 3

The third question:

Question 3

WHAT IS THE FIRST EXPERIENCE OF SAMADHI LIKE?

You will know only if it happens. It is not that it can be said. A few indications can be given. A lamp is suddenly alight in the dark - it is like this. Or like a sick man dying and suddenly the medicine works... nearing death the medicine works and suddenly ripples of life, the thrill of life spreads again -- it is just like this. Like a corpse has come to life -- the first experience of samadhi is like this.

It is an experience of immortal nectar. It is an experience of the ultimate music. But it happens only when it happens. And only if it happens will you be able to understand. You will not be able to understand from my saying it. It is like being in love. Who can explain it to anyone? One who has not loved, one who does not know love, no matter how times you try racking your brains, how much you explain -- he will listen to everything, but he will still say I don't understand a thing. Please explain a little more.

It is like trying to explain light to the blind, or sound to the deaf -- they will not be able to understand. One whose nostrils are damaged, who cannot smell anything, how will you explain the experience of fragrance? Experience cannot be put into words, but a few indications can be given.

Songs awakened in spirit, but flowed out in feelings.

the lingering ache of the heart was

molded by devotions, nurtured by imagination;

the path was unknown to me,

I had not yet gone on it,

the narrow lane of love;

but steps suddenly went forward,

and the heart also went ahead;

all illusions from folk tradition crashed down in one moment!

Songs awakened in spirit, but flowed out in feelings.

That sweet hour was sweet mimicry of anticipation,

I was surprised, gratefully;

I cannot say: was it victory for the heart, or defeat?

the agony was tender;

the voice remained silent, but

the secret of the heart was out;

these eyes have said all I didn't want to say,

Songs awakened in spirit, but flowed out in feelings.

What imagination had tendered I found right in front of me,

that moment also came;

that beautiful image overwhelmed my heart,

the mind enchanted, too shy to look;

when I could come around

I was lost in myself

and now my spirit remains quite completely lost!

Songs awakened in spirit, but flowed out in feelings.

Like a song, suddenly awakening in your heart. Like suddenly, an uncaused cascade of juice bursting forth spontaneously within you.

the path was unknown to me,

I had not yet gone on it,

the narrow lane of love;

And suddenly love awakens... the first experience of samadhi is like this. As if it were autumn and suddenly spring comes! And where trees standing dry and barren become green, loaded with leaves, abloom with flowers -- the first experience of samadhi is like this.

but steps suddenly went forward,

And feet unexpectedly step forward in one when love has awakened or when light has arisen, or when one has heard the inner sound. Then fear does not grip one. One lets go of all fear when love has awakened. This is why mathematical, calculating people say love is blind -- because the lover goes where people with eyes are afraid to go. Where people with eyes say, Be careful! Take care! Protect yourself. Don't get into trouble! -- the lover enters there dancing and singing.

This is why so called intelligent people say love is blind. The reality is just the opposite. No one is blinder than the intelligentsia. Only a lover has eyes. If love is not eyes, then what are eyes?

the path was unknown to me,

I had not yet gone on it,

the narrow lane of love;

but steps suddenly went forward,

and the heart also went ahead;

all illusions from folk tradition crashed down in one moment!

The first experience of samadhi is like this. All previous beliefs, all previous convictions, all previous sects and scriptures, flow away like a river in the first spate of rain that carries off all the rubbish left along its banks.

That sweet hour was sweet mimicry of anticipation,

I was surprised, gratefully;

Yes, you will remain standing in wonder. You will not be able to comprehend what is happening. Thoughts will stop. There is no opportunity to think. Something has happened beyond comprehension.

That sweet hour was sweet mimicry of anticipation,

I was surprised, gratefully;

I cannot say: was it victory for the heart, or defeat?

It is difficult to say -- who won, who lost? Now there are not two, this is why it is right to say won, right also to say lost. In one sense lost because one is obliterated. In another sense won because one has become the whole. In one sense the drop is defeated because it is obliterated, in another sense victorious because the drop has become the ocean.

I cannot say: is it victory for the heart, or defeat?

the agony was tender;

But this much is sure that the misery was very lovely, very sweet. Hasn't Gorakh said, ... SWEET IS DYING. DIE THAT DEATH GORAKH DIED AND SAW. It is very sweet and lovely, a death very sweet and lovely!

What imagination had tendered I found right in front of me,

The truth is whatever you have imagined appears small when it faces the truth. You get much more that what you asked. When it comes, it comes crashing through the roof.

that moment also came;

You could not believe it would come. It comes.

that moment also came;

that beautiful image overwhelmed my heart,

the mind enchanted, too shy to look;

One cannot believe, how can I deserve this? -- that I meet the beloved, that the union with the beloved could happen.

when I could come around

I couldn't manage to say anything, not even two words of welcome...

I was lost in myself

and now my spirit remains quite completely lost!

The first experience of samadhi is like being completely lost, missing, as if completely plundered... One doesn't know if defeated or victorious. But it is certain that the limits are broken, confinements are broken -- the whole sky has descended. Kabir has said, "The ocean has disappeared in the drop..." The limitless has entered the limited, the unseen into the seen... The invisible present in what was already visible.

The first experience of samadhi is the most valuable experience of this universe. And then there is experience after experience, lotus after lotus goes on blooming. Then there is no end, then lotuses go on blooming in a continuous series. It never happens that the experience of samadhi becomes less, it just goes on increasing. This is why god is called infinite, because the experience is never completed.

It is described in the life of Jesus that when John the Baptist -- John too was a remarkable man -- initiated Jesus... John was Jesus' master. He took Jesus to the Jordan river to baptize, to initiate by water. A great crowd had gathered because John had been saying, "The man I am waiting to baptize is coming, he'll be coming very soon, he has almost arrived." So a great crowd had gathered to see him. And when Jesus came John said, "The man I have been waiting to baptize has come. Now my work is done. Now he will take care of everything. I am already old..."

When he initiated Jesus in the river Jordan the story says a very beautiful thing -- it is symbolic -- that a white dove suddenly descended from the sky and entered into Jesus... It is symbolic. The white dove is a symbol of peace. No real dove descended from the sky and entered Jesus, but certainly an experience of pure whiteness suddenly descended in many people -- like lightning striking. Whoever had eyes... and people with vision must have gathered. Who would bother? John is baptizing Jesus in the Jordan river, who cares? The thirsty must have gathered. Those who had tasted a few drops must have gathered. Those who had been spattered with a little color must have gathered. Those who had touched John's red powder of festivity must have gathered. The must have seen something like a cluster of light descending from the sky and entering into Jesus... And John immediately said, "My work is finished. The one that I was waiting for has come. Now I can depart."

This was the first experience of samadhi for Jesus. When the first experience of samadhi happens, the vibe spreads all around while its happening. It is said, when Buddha first experienced samadhi, flowers bloomed out of season. This is also a symbol, like the dove. The dove is the Jewish symbol -- a symbol of peace. Flowers blooming is an Indian symbol -- out of season, suddenly. Whenever anyone reaches samadhi... the flower of samadhi is always a flower out of season. On this earth when is there a season for samadhi to bloom? It is perfectly normal when samadhi doesn't bloom on this earth. If samadhi blooms it is abnormal. This earth is a desert, where is there greenery here? Where does nectar flow? When it descends there are flowers out of season. It was not to be but it happened, it is a miracle! Samadhi is a miracle!

You will know it only when you experience it. Or perhaps staying near one who has experienced some day you will see a white dove descend or suddenly see flowers blooming.

In my courtyard, a white dove.

A white dove flew from high parapets, into my courtyard.

Once in the delicate dusk of summer --

I peeped into my courtyard.

A few drops like the sprinkling of fragrant pandanus water

in the body-mind of a new bride;

a rainbow gossamer on a maidens soft slender body

a white dove flew from high parapets, into my courtyard.

My hand painted with red mehendi lines, O heart --

in the garden, trees blooming madly,

a flute melody rings in my ear

the heart-longed-for guest has come home;

a thrill in my soul, a sparkle in my eye, sweet, sweeter

a white dove flew from high parapets, into my courtyard.

a beautiful golden dream --

the moon wrapped in a sari,

a song sleepily wandering,

colliding with my breath;

like a sprinkling of jasmine, heart and soul perfumed

a white dove flew from high parapets, into my courtyard.

my restless song cries out in joy

I am home, courtyard, threshold, door.

Lamps lighted, dusk falling

like the song of wedding reeds in the soul;

juicy flower-like sounds spread in the mango groves,

a white dove flew from high parapets, into my courtyard.

A white dove descends in the first experience of samadhi. Flowers bloom all around. A flute melody resounds. A reed begins to play inside. All vibrations, all tones are awakened.

a flute melody rings in my ear

the heart-longed-for guest has come home;

The awaited guest has come -- the 'atithi,' the one with no date. In this country we have called the guest the atithi because he arrives without a set date. By now the only remaining atithi is god, all other guests set a date before coming. Now they send a message ahead that they are coming. They are saying that it is not right to suddenly shove their way in. We will be coming. Take care to prepare yourselves, because nowadays no one is happy to see a guest. If a message comes first then people can get ready. The cursing and swearing can be done earlier. What has to be said to the wife can be said. What has to be said to the husband can be said. By the time they arrive politeness has returned. If they suddenly come, who knows -- the truth might come out! One has to say that it is a blessing, that seeing you our hearts are very delighted. This is not what is inside. Something else is inside. The Western custom of first informing is good so that people can get ready, can fortify their hearts.

Now god is the only remaining atithi -- he doesn't fix a date. There is no prior indication of his coming. No one can say when the first experience of samadhi will happen. Spontaneously, out of season... The truth is what happens when you are not waiting, not expecting at all. As long as you are waiting you remain tense. Tension remains in your mind. While you are watching the path you can't be total. Watching the path is also a thought and thought is the barrier. As long as you are thinking, "Now he will come", it has not happened yet, you are still surrounded by thoughts. Clouds have gathered. How can the sun come out? It comes suddenly, spontaneously -- when you are just sitting... not doing anything, not even meditating -- then the first experience of samadhi happens. Even when you are meditating somewhere a desire remains in the mind -- perhaps it will happen now, it must happen now. It hasn't happened yet, it is overdue! Complaints go on arising.

Continuing to meditate, meditating one day a moment happens when you are sitting, not even meditating, peaceful, just healthy, silently -- and it comes!

a flute melody rings in my ear

the heart-longed-for guest has come home;

a thrill in my soul, a sparkle in my eye, sweet, sweeter

my restless song cries out in joy

I am home, courtyard, threshold, door.

Lamps lighted, dusk falling

like the song of wedding reeds in the soul;

juicy flower-like sounds spread in the mango groves,

It happens. Don't ask the definition. Ask the path. Ask how it happens, don't ask what happens. It cannot be said. There is no way to talk about it. It is not something to be said, it is something to know. But the method can be told, indications can be given -- move this way, be careful that way. When the mind is without thoughts, peaceful, empty of expectation, free of desire and longing -- in that very moment. Whenever such a moment of spring is adorned within you the inner reed begins to play. Flowers bloom out of season. A ray descends from the sky and makes you forever different, changed. You can never become the same again. The first experience of samadhi -- and you are bathed!

You have been dirty for centuries. Much dust of long journeys has gathered. The first experience of samadhi carries away all the dust. All beliefs, all traps of belief are finished. You become innocent.

Did not Gorakh say it is like a small child is born within? -- in the inner silence a child's voice arises, a new arising of life.

In samadhi your death happens... DIE, O YOGI, DIE... The ego dies. You are destroyed and become the whole.

Gorakh

DEATH IS DIVINE

Chapter-2

The call of the unknown