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Question 10

OSHO, I KNOW THAT SEX REPRESSION IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF ALL NEUROSIS, BUT THEN WHY DO I GO ON REPRESSING IT?

Narayana,

YOU HAVE BEEN TAUGHT to do it from the very beginning. It has become part of you, your conscience. Listening to me now you understand that sex repression is the root cause of all neurosis, but this understanding is very new. And 'sex is dirty', and 'sex is sin', is very old, it may be fifty years old. And this understanding is very new. The weight of the old is too much.

So you understand intellectually that sex repression is the root cause of all neurosis, but deep down, even in your body, even in your chemistry, the idea has penetrated, from the very moment you were given milk, you have been poisoned about sex, that it is sin. It is such a long long hypnosis that it will take time for you to be awake.

It is a good beginning that an intellectual understanding Is happening, but it is only intellectual -- it has to become existential.

Mother is explaining the facts of life to Cynthia the day before the wedding.

"Now, my dear," she tells her, "I am afraid Bertie will often want to be beastly to you after you are married."

Cynthia, shocked, is quite unable to believe that her beloved Bertie would ever do such a thing.

"Yes, it is so," mother insists, "and I want you to remember: whenever he wants to be beastly, grit your teeth. clench your fists, and think of England!"

These things have been given to everybody, and everybody is carrying a big load of all kinds of nonsense. Sex is a natural phenomenon -- it has to be accepted, lovingly; it has to be respected. It is life's source. Not to respect it is to disrespect Life; not to respect it is to condemn God. Respect it, love it, be prayerful with it, and one day you will transcend. But transcendence is not against sex: transcendence is through sex. Sex has to be used as a stepping-stone. And when you have used it as a stepping-stone, be grateful to it.

If you really want to understand me, or Kabir, this has to be the very foundation: that life has to be loved because it is divine, life has to be affirmed with your total being because God is hidden in it. God is another name for life, another name for love. Life is to become your God -- then whatsoever LIFE implies becomes divine.

But it will take time. Slowly slowly, chunks of your old conditioning have to be dropped. If you can remain here. Narayana, for a few months, the miracle is possible. It is happening to others. Thousands of my sannyasins have started accepting life -- not accepting out of any helplessness but out of great joy, with a rejoicing heart.

I am all for rejoicing. am I am all against, deadly against renouncing. I am all for transformation and absolutely against repression. If you repress, remember Kabir: repress sex, it becomes anger; repress anger, it becomes agreed; repress greed, it becomes pride... and so on and so forth. It goes on and on. And the farther you are away from nature, the more complex is the journey, the more difficult it is to come back home.

Come closer. Lose your pride, let it become greed; lose your greed, let it become anger; lose your anger, let it become sex. Sex is the original energy. And from sex there is a possibility of transformation, because sex gives you the first glimpses of samadhi. Sex lived totally, sex loved totally, will make you aware for the first time of the peak moments, of the climaxes.

And on those sunlit peaks, great silence prevails; the ego has been dropped far behind in the valleys, time has disappeared somewhere on the way. You are no more separate; you are not a person but just a pulsation, a presence. Sex gives you moments of that experience when you are simply pulsating in rhythm with the whole. That pulsation is what orgasm is all about, and orgasm is the window to samadhi.

Narayana, what is happening intellectually now, allow it to happen existentially too. Only then the long long tradition of centuries can be dropped. It is an arduous effort, it is difficult, but it is worth it.

And once chunks of your conditioning start disappearing you will feel such freedom, such buoyancy, you will feel so weightless, you will start feeling wings are growing in you. You will start feeling that you can do anything; you will start feeling that you are entitled to do miracles.