Trust is unaddressed

First Question




Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Yoga Yoga Sutras of Patanjali


The first question:

Question 1


THE MIND IS VERY CUNNING, and that has to be constantly remembered. This is what I have been saying to you: that if you trust yourself, you will trust me. Or, from the other side, if you trust me you will naturally trust yourself. The contradiction does not exist. The contradiction arises because of the mind. If you trust yourself you trust all, because you trust life. You trust even those who will deceive you, but that is irrelevant. That is their problem; it is not your problem. Whether they deceive you or they don't deceive you, it has nothing to do with your trust. If you say, "My trust exists only with a condition that nobody tries to deceive me," then your trust cannot exist because every possibility will create a certain hesitation in you: "Who knows? -- the person may be going to deceive me." How can you see the future? The deception will happen in the future, if it happens, or if it does not happen, that too is in the future -- and trust has to be here-now.

And sometimes a very good man can deceive you. A saint can become a sinner at any moment. And sometimes a very bad man can be very deeply trustworthy. After all, sinners become saints. But that is in the future, and if you make a condition for your trust, then you cannot trust. Trust is unconditional. It simply says that, "I have that quality which trusts. Now, it is irrelevant what happens to my trust -- whether it is respected or not, whether it is deceived or not. That is not the point at all." Trust has nothing to do with the object of trust, it has something to do with your inner quality: can you trust? If you can trust, of course the first trust will happen about yourself -- you trust yourself. The first thing has to happen at the deepest core of your being. If you don't trust yourself then everything is very far away. Then I am very far away from you. How can you trust me? You have not trusted even yourself who is so close. And how can you trust your trust about me if you don't trust yourself? If you don't trust yourself, whatsoever you do, a deep mistrust will continue as an undercurrent. If you trust yourself, you trust the whole life -- not only me, because why only me? Trust is all-inclusive. Trust means: trust in life, the whole that surrounds you; the whole out of which you have come, and the whole into which one day you will dissolve.

Trust simply means that you have understood the neurosis of doubt, that you have understood the misery of doubt, that you have understood the hell that doubt creates. You have known doubt and by knowing it you have dropped it. When doubt disappears, there is trust. It is something of a transformation within you, your attitude, approach. Trust knows no contradiction.

The questioner asks, "It is the contradiction between trusting myself and trusting you." If that is the contradiction, then trust yourself. If you can trust yourself nothing else is needed. Then you are deeply rooted in your trust, and when a tree is deeply rooted in the earth, it goes on spreading its branches into the unknown sky. When it is rooted in the earth, it can trust the sky. When the tree is not rooted in the earth, then it cannot trust the sky; then it is always afraid: afraid of the storm, afraid of the rains, afraid of the sun, afraid of the wind, afraid of everything. The fear is coming from the roots. The tree knows that she is not rooted perfectly. Any slight accident, and she will be gone. She is already gone. Such a life, unrooted, uncentered, is not a life at all. It is just a slow, long suicide. So if you trust yourself, forget all about me. There is no need even to raise the question. But you know and I know that you don't trust yourself.

The mind is creating a very cunning device. The mind is saying, "Don't trust anybody, trust yourself"; and you cannot trust yourself. That's why you are here. Otherwise why would you be here? One who trusts himself need not go anywhere, need not go to any Master, need not go to learn anywhere. Life is coming to you in millions of ways; there is no need to go anywhere.

Wherever you are truth will happen, but you don't trust yourself. And when I say, "Trust me," that is only a device to help you trust. You cannot trust yourself? -- okay; trust me. Maybe trusting me will give you a taste of trust; then you can trust yourself.

The Master is nothing but a long way to come to yourself, because you cannot come through the shortest way. You have to follow a little longer route. But via the Master, you come to yourself. If you are stuck with me then T am your enemy, then I have not been a help to you. Then I don't love you, then I don't have any compassion for you. If I have any compassion, then by and by, I will turn you back towards yourself. That's what I go on saying: "If you meet a Buddha on the way, kill him!" If you start clinging to me, drop me immediately. Kill me, forget all about me. But your mind will say, "When there is so much fear of clinging, it is better never to start the journey." Then you remain in self distrust. I'm simply giving you an opportunity to have a taste of trust.

Listening to me when I say don't cling to the Master, your ego starts feeling very good. It says, "Perfectly true. Why should I trust anybody? Why should I surrender to anybody? Exactly, this is the right thing!" That's what has happened to J. Krishnamurti's disciple9. For forty, fifty years he has been teaching, and there are many who have listened their whole lives to him, and nothing has happened -- because he goes on insisting that there is no Master, no disciple. He goes on throwing you upon yourself. Even before you have a taste of trust, he goes on throwing you upon yourself. Before you start clinging he's alert, very alert. He will not allow you to approach near him. This is one extreme. Your ego feels very good that you don't have any Master, that you don't have to surrender to anybody. You? -- and surrendering? It does not look good; looks like humiliation. You feel very good. With Krishnamurti, all sorts of egoists have gathered together around him. If you want to find the most cultured egoists, then you will find them around Krishnamurti. They are very cultured, sophisticated, very intellectual, very cunning and clever, logical, rationalizers, but nothing has happened to them. Many of them come to me and they say, "We know, we understand, but our understanding has remained intellectual. Nothing has happened. We have not been transformed, so what is the point?" Krishnamurti says don't cling to him, but you are clinging to yourself. If there is any choice to be made, better to cling to Krishnamurti than clinging to yourself. At least you are clinging to a better person.

Then there is another extreme. There are gurus who insist that you should cling to them. Surrender seems to be the end, not the means. They say, "Remain completely with me. Never allow any movement back to your home." That too seems to be dangerous, because then you are always on the path and never reach the goal -- because the goal is you. I can become a path; Krishnamurti won't allow you to make him a path. Then there are others who won't allow you to become the goal. They say, "Go on travelling, go on travelling." You remain always on the pilgrimage and you never arrive -- because arrival has to be at your innermost core of being. I cannot be your arrival. How can I be your arrival? One day or other you have to make me a departure.

I'm neither in agreement with Krishnamurti, nor with the other extremists. I say: use me as a path, but as a path remember. And if I start becoming a goal, kill me immediately, drop me immediately -- because now the medicine is becoming like a disease. Medicine has to be used and forgotten. You should not carry the bottles and the prescription continuously with you. It was a means, instrumental; now you are healthy, drop it, forget all about it. Be thankful to it, be grateful to it, but there is no need to carry it.

Buddha has said that five fools crossed a river, then they all started thinking -- fools are always philosophers, and the vice versa is also true -- they started thinking, "What to do? This boat has helped us so tremendously, otherwise we would have died on the other side. It was wild, and night was coming, and there were wild animals and robbers, and anything could have happened. This boat has saved us. We should be grateful always and always for this boat, towards this boat." Then one fool suggested, "Yes, that's right. Now we should carry the boat on our heads because this boat has to be worshipped." So they started carrying the boat towards the town on their heads. Many people asked, "What are you doing? We have seen people sitting in a boat; we have never seen a boat sitting on people. What has happened?" They said, "You don't know. This boat has saved our lives. Now we cannot forget, and for our whole lives we are going to carry this boat on our heads." Now, this boat killed them completely. It would have been better to be left on the other side of the river. It would have been better to be killed by the wild animals rather than carry this boat forever and ever. This was an endless misery. On the other side of the river, at least within a second, things would have happened. Now for years together they would carry the load, the burden, the boredom. And the more they carry, the more they will become accustomed to the load. Without the load they will not feel good; they will feel uncomfortable. And now they will not be able to do anything, because how to do anything else? Carrying the boat will be so continuously absorbing that they will become almost incapable of doing anything.

That's what has happened to many religious people: they have become incapable of doing anything; they are simply carrying their boat. Go and see the Jain monasteries, Catholic monasteries, Buddhist monasteries -- what are people doing? They are just doing religion; the whole life has been dropped. They are just praying, or just meditating. What are they doing? Life is not enriched by them. They are not creative. They are a curse, they are not a blessing. Life does not become more beautiful because of them. They are not helping in any way. But they are very serious people, and they look continuously engaged; for twenty-four hours they are engaged. They are carrying a boat on their heads. Their ritual is their boat.

Remember: come to me, trust me. Just learn what trust is. Come to my garden and listen to the wind passing through the trees, just to go back home and create a garden of your own. Come to these flowers, these singing birds; have a deep experience of them, then go back. Then create your own world. Just through my window, have a glimpse. Let me flash like lightning before you so you can see the whole of life -- but it is going to be just a glimpse.

No need to cling to me, because then, when will you make your own house, and when will you make your own garden, and when will your own flowers flower, and when will your own birds of the heart sing? No, then you will carry the boat that helped you to the other shore. But then that other shore is already destroyed because you will be carrying your boat on your heads. How will you dance on the other shore? How will you celebrate? That boat will be a constant imprisonment.

When I tell you to trust me, I am simply saying that a certain climate has happened to me: have a glimpse of it. Come, let that climate surround you also. Let me vibrate in your heart; let me pulsate around you; let me throb in the deepest core of your being; let me resound in you. I am singing a song here -- let it be echoed so that you can know that, "Yes, the song is possible." Buddha is gone, Jesus is not here; it's natural. Listening to Jesus is not possible for you. You can read the Bible; it simply depicts something that happened somewhere in time, but you cannot believe it. It may be just a myth, a story. Buddha may be just of a poetic imagination; poets may have created him. Who knows? -- because in life you don't come across such men. Unless you come across a religious man, religion will remain somewhere like a dream. It will never become a reality. If you come across a man who has tasted of truth, who has lived in a different world and in a different dimension, to whom God has happened and to whom God is not just a theory, but a fact like breathing, then trust him, go into him. Then don't hesitate; then take courage. Then be a little bold. Then don't be a coward and don't go on slinking outside the door; enter the temple. Of course, this temple is not going to become an abode for you. You will have to create your own temple -- because God can be worshipped only when you have created your own temple. In a borrowed temple, God cannot be worshipped. God is a creator and respects only creativity. And the basic creativity is to create a temple of your own. No, borrowed temples won't do. But, how to create a-temple?

In the first place, it is almost impossible to believe that temples have ever existed. Jesus' existence remains doubtful; Buddha looks like a myth, not like history; Krishna is even more in the world of dreams. The farther back you go in history, the more and more things fade into mythologies. No signature is left on reality.

When I say trust me, I simply mean: don't stand outside. If you have come so close to me, come a little more close. If you have come, then come in. Then let my climate surround you. That will become an existential experience to you. Looking into my eyes, entering into my heart, it will become impossible for you then to distrust Jesus. It will be impossible for you then to say that Buddha is just a myth. But still, I will go on saying that if Buddha comes, meets you on the path, kill him.

Come through me, but don't stay there. Have the experience and go on your way. If the experience is lost again in memories and fades out, come again to me while I'm available here. Have another dip, but remember continuously that you have to create something of your own. Only then can you live in it. I can be a holiday, at the most, from your ordinary life, but I cannot become your life. You will have to change your life.

Now, the mind is very cunning. If I say trust me, the mind feels it is difficult. Trusting somebody else is very ego-destroying. If I say just trust yourself, the mind feels very good. But just by feeling good, nothing happens. I say to you, trust yourself. If it is possible, there is no need to trust me; if it is not possible, then try the other. Mind is always in search through everything to somehow make itself more strengthened.

I will tell you one anecdote.

A country dweller moved to the big city, and every Sunday for about six months, he attended a different church in an endeavor to find a congenial congregation. Finally, one Sunday morning, he entered a church just as the congregation recited with the minister, "We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done." He sat down with a sigh of relief and satisfaction, murmuring to himself, "At last I have found my lot."

You are just trying to find something which does not disturb you. On the contrary, it strengthens your old mind. It strengthens you as you are. That is the whole effort of the mind: to perpetuate itself. You will have to be mindful about it. The mind has the tendency to hear not that which is said, but that which it wants to hear.

Harry had married his elderly, ugly wife only for her money. Of course, he found plenty of ways to spend it, like the present safari trek through the African jungle. When a huge alligator slipped out of the marshes, grabbed his wife between its teeth and started to pull her away, Harry did not move a muscle. "Quick! Shoot it!! Shoot it!" screamed his unfortunate wife. Harry shrugged, "I would love to, dear, but I haven't any film in my camera."

The mind has the tendency to hear what it wants to hear. Never think that you are hearing me. You go on manipulating it in many ways. When something enters into your head, you don't listen to it directly. First, you mix it with your ideas; you change here and there. A few things you drop, a few things you add. Then of course it starts suiting you, by and by, and you convince yourself that that is what was said to you.

A tramp collapsed on a London street during a very hot spell, and immediately a crowd gathered around him.

"Give the poor fellow a drop of whisky," said an old lady.

"Give him some air," said a man.

"Give him some whisky," said the old lady again.

"Take him to the hospital," said another gent.

"Give him some whisky," said the old dear once again.

The conversation went on like this till the tramp sat up and yelled, "Will you all belt up and listen to the old lady!"

Even when you are unconscious, you can listen to that which you want to listen to; and even when you are conscious you are not listening to that which is being said to you.

One beggar comes here to listen to me. That beggar approached a fellow in the main street and said, "Give me a few annas for a cup of coffee." The man said, "But I gave you eight annas only ten minutes ago." The tramp said, "Oh, stop living in the past." Continuously I am teaching you to stop living in the past -- perfectly true.

Remember, your mind continuously is playing tricks on you. There is no contradiction; contradiction is created by you.

Now, I will read the remaining part of the question -- see the emphasis. "There is a part of me that says if I trust my own self and follow my own self, then I have surrendered and said yes to you." But this is only a part; and what about the remaining? If you trust this part, the remaining mind will say, "What are you doing?" That's how the doubt arises. If you listen to the remaining part, this part will go on creating doubts. This is how the mind moves -- always in a dichotomy. It divides itself against itself, and it goes on playing the game of hide and seek. So whatsoever you do, frustration comes -- whatsoever. But the frustration is bound to come. If you trust me, one part of your mind will go on saying, "What are you doing?" I have always been telling you, just trust yourself. If you don't trust me and trust yourself, the other part of the mind will continuously be frustrating. It will say, "What are you doing? Trust him. Surrender." Now, look at the dichotomy of the mind.

If you can see this constant division of the mind which is never able to come to a total decision, then by and by, a different type of consciousness will arise in you which can decide totally. That is not of the mind. That's why I say that surrender is not of the mind. Trust is not of the mind. Mind cannot trust. Distrust is very intrinsic to mind; it is inbuilt. Mind exists on distrust, on doubt. When you are in too much doubt, you see too much mentation around inside, moving. Mind gets in too much activity. But when you trust, there is nothing for the mind to do. Have you watched it? When you say, "No!" you throw a rock into the silent pool of your consciousness; millions of ripples arise. When you say, "Yes" you are not throwing any rock. At the most, you may be floating a rose flower in the lake. Without any ripple, the flower floats. That's why people find it very difficult to say yes, and find it very easy to say no. 'No' is always just ready. Even before you have heard, the no is ready.

I was staying with Mulla Nasrudin once. I heard the wife saying to Nasrudin, "Nasrudin, just go and see what the boy is doing, and stop him."

She does not know what the boy is doing: "Just go and see what the boy is doing, and stop him." Whatsoever it is, is not the point; but stopping, saying no. Denying comes easy; it enhances the ego. The ego feeds on no; the mind feeds on doubt, suspicion, distrust. You cannot trust me through the mind. You will have to see the dichotomy of the mind -- the constant duel, the constant debate inside the mind. One part is always functioning as the opposition.

The mind never comes to a decision. There are always a few fragments of the mind as dissenters. They wait for their opportunity, and they will frustrate you.

Then what is trust? How can you trust? You have to understand the mind. By understanding the mind and the constant duality in it, by witnessing it, you become separate from the mind. And in that separation arises trust, and that trust knows no division between me and you. That trust knows no division between you and life. That trust is simply trust. It is unaddressed trust, not addressed to anybody -- because if you trust me, you will immediately distrust somebody. Whenever you trust somebody, immediately, on the other end, you will be mistrusting somebody else. If you believe in the Koran, you cannot believe in Buddha. If you trust in Jesus, you cannot trust in Buddha. What type of trust is this? It is of no worth.

Trust is unaddressed. It is neither addressed to Christ, nor to Buddha. It's simple trust. You simply trust because you enjoy trusting. You simply trust, and you enjoy trusting so much that even when you are deceived, you enjoy. You enjoy that you could trust even when there was every possibility of deception, that the deception could not destroy your trust, that your trust was greater, that the deceiver could not corrupt you. He may have taken your money, he may have taken your prestige, he may have robbed you completely, but you will enjoy. And you will feel tremendously happy and blissful that he could not corrupt your trust; you still trust him. And if he comes again to rob you you will be ready; you still trust him. So the person who was deceiving you may have robbed you materially, but he has enriched you spiritually.

But what happens ordinarily? One man deceives you and the whole humanity is condemned. One Christian deceives you; all Christians are condemned. One Mohammedan has not behaved well with you; the whole community of Mohammedans are sinners. One Hindu has not been good to you; all Hindus are worthless. You simply wait. Just a single man can create a distrust of the whole humanity.

A man of trust goes on trusting. Whatsoever happens to his trust, one thing never happens: he never allows anybody to destroy his trust. His trust goes on increasing. Trust is God. People have told you to trust in God; I tell you, trust is God. Forget all about God; just trust, and God will come seeking and searching for you wherever you are.


Next: Chapter 8, Trust is unaddressed: Second Question


Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Yoga Yoga Sutras of Patanjali



Chapter 8



Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Yoga Yoga Sutras of Patanjali



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