Male mind, female mind, no-mind

Fifth Question


Question 5


This has always remained, for centuries, a relevant question. A Buddha is there, offering all that he can offer, ready to share his being, but nobody seems to be in need -- and everybody is in need. Everybody is ill, and Buddha is there offering the medicine, but nobody seems to be interested in medicine. There must be some cause.

This is my observation: that to be interested in happiness is very difficult, to be interested in health is very difficult. People have a morbid liking for illness and people have a morbid attachment with unhappiness. That's why you are always ready for unhappiness. No preparation is needed, no Patanjali is needed -- no eight steps to become unhappy. Everybody is ready to jump. As far as unhappiness is concerned everybody follows Lao Tzu and nobody ever asks how. Nobody comes to me and asks how to be unhappy; everybody knows. Nobody has been teaching you unhappiness -- nobody, not at all. You know it by instinct. You are already masters in that.

There must be some deep investment in it. Why do people like to be unhappy? When I say "like" I don't mean that they know they like. They may say that they don't like: "Who likes unhappiness!" They want to be happy, but that is not the point -- they cling to unhappiness. They may say they like happiness, but they cling to unhappiness. They say they desire happiness, but whatsoever they do creates unhappiness. And it is not new; they have been doing it for many lives. Again and again they do the same -- then they are unhappy. And they say they want happiness.

There is some investment. I would like to tell you a few things because they maybe helpful. When you are unhappy it is easy to condemn the whole world, it is easy to throw responsibility on everybody else. When you are unhappy you can manipulate others who are near you -- because you are unhappy, and they have a responsibility to make you happy. When you are unhappy you can demand attention: I am ill; I am unhappy.

You must have come across hypochondriacs who go on talking about their illnesses and diseases and they magnify it so much that, in fact, illnesses that big do not exist. But if you say, "You are magnifying," they feel very much hurt. In fact they relish the very idea that they are so ill. They go from one doctor to another just to tell their story. Nobody can help them with what they have -- that they know. Nobody is that wise; nobody knows anything. And they have such mysterious illnesses around them, they know from the very beginning nobody is going to help. What are they doing when they talk continuously about their illness -- as if somebody goes on showing you his wound again and again and goes on fingering with the wound and playing with the wound and hurting himself? He asks for sympathy, attention.

And from the very childhood a child learns the trick. The whole society, from the very beginning, goes wrong. Whenever a child is ill the parents will pay more attention. Whenever he is unhappy the whole family feels responsible, and the child becomes a small dictator in himself. When a child is ill he can dictate his terms. He can say this toy has to be brought this evening, and nobody can say no -- because he is ill. But when he is healthy nobody bothers about him; when he is healthy nobody comes and sits by his side. When he is ill Father comes, big Daddy, so important a man that the little child feels happy; now he is more important than you. You are just sitting by the side of the bed asking about his health; then doctors come, great doctors, well-known doctors; neighbors come; the mother is continuously fussing about his illness. He becomes the center of the whole family, and the whole family is the world for a child. The whole world revolves around him: he becomes the sun and everything becomes a planet. It is so beautiful, he feels. Now he is learning a trick for which he will suffer his whole life -- a trick which is very dangerous.

If I am allowed my own way I will tell parents to never pay much attention when a child is ill and unhappy. Care, but don't pay much attention. Rather, when he is happy and healthy pay attention. When a child is happy make him feel that he is the center of the family. When he is unhappy just leave him by the side, give him medicine, but let him feel that nobody is really bothering about him He is put by the side. It looks very, very unkind, cruel -- what I am saying looks very cruel -- but I tell you this is compassion, if you understand the whole phenomenon, because for your ordinary kindness the child is going to suffer his whole life. Not only one -- it becomes a deep-rooted pattern: in many lives he will go on repeating the same thing.

Whenever in life you need attention.... And everybody needs attention, because attention is a food for the ego. Only a Buddha doesn't need attention -- because the ego is not there the food is not needed -- otherwise everybody needs attention. And whenever you need attention, what will you do then? You know only one trick: to be unhappy, to fall ill. Ninety percent of illnesses arise first in the mind, in the unconscious. The wife doesn't bother about you: rather on the contrary, when you come from the office she is waiting to fight or she has left the plates for you to wash. But when you are ill she surrounds you, she becomes a warmth, she takes care of every small thing, she does not fight.... You feel good.

This is really a morbid affair: that when you are bad you feel good and when you are good you feel bad. But this is the situation. If the wife is in the husband comes with flowers and ice cream. When she is okay he doesn't even look at her -- he comes with his newspaper, opens his newspaper, and starts reading.

Everybody goes on playing the game of being unhappy. You want to be happy, but unless you cut the investment in unhappiness you cannot be happy. And happiness is not somebody else's responsibility towards you, remember. Nobody else can make you happy. It is your own growth, your own awareness, your own moving energy -- higher and higher -- that gives you bliss. But you have to understand the deep-down unconscious mechanism -- that you talk about happiness but you desire unhappiness.

That's why.... And whatsoever you want happens! This world is really a magic place. If you want unhappiness it will happen, if you want happiness it will happen -- because you are the deciding factor; you are the base of all that happens to you. This is the whole law of karma: whatsoever you want, you do, and it happens. If you are unhappy it is because you want it. I again look cruel. Hmm?... because you come to me to be consoled. I should say to you, "You are unhappy because the whole world is conspiring against you." You feel good, but then I am not a help to you. I am helping your illness; I am making you more and more neurotic.

No. Nobody is responsible for your unhappiness except you. And this is categorically so. There are no exceptions to it. This is a very scientific -- absolutely scientific -- law: you are responsible. Let this penetrate deep into your mind that only you are responsible. Whenever you feel unhappy, suffering, sad, know well you are creating it. And if you want to create, good. Enjoy it. Then don't ask for happiness. Then just relax into it: be sad, be unhappy, become a dark night. I am not saying that you should become a day; there is no need. If you like to be a dark night, be -- but then don't ask for the day. The trouble arises: you cling to the night and you ask for the day. You come to me and I see. You ask for silence -- and I see you are clinging to noise, thoughts, thinking. You ask for peace and you are clinging to things which will not allow you to be peaceful. So clear this mess inside you.

People are in need, they have always been in need, but they won t come because they may be afraid. People come to me, and sometimes they become afraid of the happiness that starts growing within them -- something so unfamiliar.

It happened once, George Bernard Shaw was talking about a man very condemningly. One mutual friend, who knew George Bernard Shaw well and knew the other man well, said to George Bernard Shaw, "I know well that you don't know him at all; and you are condemning him and criticizing him in such certain terms -- and I know that you have not even been introduced to him. You are not even a distant acquaintance, so if you really want to know the man, should I bring him and introduce him to you?" George Bernard Shaw said, "No, no -- because if you introduce him I'm apt to like him."

That is the trouble. People may be suffering, but you bring them to me: there is a possibility they may become happy. That is the fear. There is a possibility they may become peaceful. That is the fear. So rather than coming to me they will talk against me. They are talking against me not to convince somebody else; they are talking against me to convince themselves so they need not come to me. Mind is very cunning and goes on playing with you, and unless you are really aware you can never come out of this whole mess that mind is.



Next: Chapter 8, Male mind, female mind, no-mind: Sixth Question


Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Yoga Yoga Sutras of Patanjali



Chapter 8



Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Yoga Yoga Sutras of Patanjali




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