Question 4

WHAT IS THE REASON THAT I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO ENFORCE RULES? PART OF ME GETS ANGRY AND INSISTS THAT SANNYASINS FOLLOW SIMPLE RULES LIKE NO SMOKING OR EATING IN THE GARDENS. TEERTHA HAS CALLED ME "THE COMMANDANT OF THE GARDEN," BUT DEEP DOWN I HATE THE WHOLE AUTHORITY TRIP; IT IS THE ONLY PART OF MY WORK THAT IS NOT ENJOYABLE. HOW CAN ONE BE A NOBODY WHEN PUT IN A POSITION OF HAVING TO ENFORCE RULES?

COULD CHUANG TZU LAY DOWN HIS FISHING POLE AND COME TO POONA TO PLAY LAXMI'S ROLE?

The question is asked by Nirgun.

Who do you think is playing Laxmi's role? It is Chuang Tzu.

A few things to be understood about the question. It's certainly difficult to play an authoritative role, but the difficulty arises not because of the role but because of the unconscious desire to dominate. You can repress the desire, you can avoid any authoritative role; the desire will remain there. Whenever the authoritative role is given to you, the desire hidden in the unconscious, the repressed desire, becomes alive, jumps on the role.

It is beautiful to watch it and get rid of it; rather than getting rid of the role, rather than trying to avoid the role itself, it is better to get rid of the desire to be authoritative. So Nirgun, it is good that you are placed in a role where again and again you will have to say to people, "Don't do this."

But this can be said in a very nonauthoritative way. There is no need to be authoritative about it. Don't make it a trip. And then the situation will be a great opportunity to grow. I have put many people in authoritative roles. That is the only way to get rid of any repressed desire. When the situation is there and the opportunity is there, the desire comes up, surfaces.

And Nirgun has that desire deep down; hence the fear. She would like to escape from the situation. She would like some work where there is no need to say to anybody, "Don't do this." But how will you get rid of the desire? It is easy to avoid children, but it is very difficult to get rid of the parent role. It is very easy never to be in a position where you have to say to people, "Do this. Don't do this." Very easy. But how will you get rid of the subtle aggressive energy in you?

I would like you to use these situations. And this ashram has to be a constantly ongoing group. Every situation has to be used in such a way that it helps your spiritual growth.

She refers to Chuang Tzu, the famous story that Chuang Tzu was asked by the Emperor to come to the palace and to become his prime minister. I have commented on the story. I love Chuang Tzu.

Two messengers came from the Emperor. Chuang Tzu was fishing, and they came and they said, "The Emperor wants you to become the prime minister of the country." Chuang Tzu said, "Do you see that turtle there, wagging its tail in the mud?" They said, "Yes, we see." "And do you see how happy he is?" They said, "Certainly. He looks tremendously happy."

And then Chuang Tzu said, "I have heard that in the king's palace there is a turtle, three thousand years old, dead, encaged in gold, decorated with diamonds, and he is worshiped. If you ask this turtle who is wagging his tail in the mud to change his role, to become that turtle in the palace -- dead, but encaged in gold, decorated with diamonds, and worshiped by the emperor himself -- will this turtle be ready to accept that?"

The messengers said, "Certainly not. This turtle will not be ready."

So Chuang Tzu said, "Why should I be ready? Then be gone! I am happy in my mud, wagging my tail, and I don't want to come to the emperor's palace."

Now, this is a beautiful story, but if I meet Chuang Tzu I will say that he is still afraid, he still has a certain fear. If I had been in Chuang Tzu's place, I would have gone to the palace. You can wag your tail in the palace too, and it will be fun. But Chuang Tzu must have been a little afraid, a little fear that maybe he will become imprisoned there, maybe he will have to lose his freedom, life, aliveness, maybe he will start going on a power trip, ego trip. But that fear simply shows that something in the unconscious is still lingering on.

A man should be so free that if the situation demands him to be in a power role, he can be in a power role -- without being powerful. If the situation demands it of him, he can easily accommodate himself to the new situation without any trouble. A man should not have a fixed role in life. He should be fluid. And the question is not of roles; the question is of consciousness.

So Nirgun, be more conscious, be more loving. Don't allow that urge to dominate to become an unconscious trip, that's all. Become conscious of it. Through consciousness, it will be dropped.

Because of this fear, millions of people down the ages became monks and nuns. What was their fear? Why were they afraid of the world? They were afraid not of the world, they were afraid of their unconscious desires. They knew well that if opportunity is given to them they will fall from their pedestals. But what type of awareness is this? If you can be happy only in the forest and cannot be happy in the marketplace, your happiness is not worth much. If you can be celibate only when there is no woman available, your celibacy is not of any worth, not worth much. If you can be nonpossessive when there is nothing to possess, then what is the point of your being nonpossessive? When you have the whole world to possess and you remain non-possessive, this is attainment, this I call SIDDHI, this I call real achievement.