Zen

THE LANGUAGE OF EXISTENCE

Chapter 4: Beyond life-and-death

Question 1

 

 

Energy Enhancement                Enlightened Texts                Zen                 The Language of Existence

 

 

Question 1

Maneesha has asked:

OUR BELOVED MASTER,

I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED: LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE SPEAKING OF THE SENSES, AS TRADITIONALLY CLASSIFIED, YOU DID NOT MENTION THE EIGHTH SENSE, THE SENSE OF HUMOR. WHAT HAPPENED?

I thought you would understand it without saying. All that we are doing here is practicing the sense of humor -- that's why I left it out of the count. But if you want, it can be counted in, because certainly only man has the sense of humor. No buffalo laughs -- and if you find a buffalo laughing you will run so fast. You will lose all control over yourself if suddenly your horse starts laughing!

The whole world is silent as far as laughter is concerned -- only man laughs. Man can laugh because he has a small consciousness. As the consciousness grows deeper, his humor also becomes deeper. At the ultimate peak, everything becomes a hilarious festival, a carnival.

Something about the sense of humor....

Captain Kurtski, the pilot, turns on the public address system.

"We will be landing at Moscow airport in three hours' time. We hope you have had a pleasant trip. Thank you for flying Polack Airlines."

Then, forgetting to turn off the loudspeaker, he turns to co-pilot Cliffski.

"Take over, Cliffski," says Kurtski, his voice booming through the plane. "I'm going for a cup of coffee, and then I'm going to take that new stewardess, Gertie, and give her all my hot Polish machinery."

Gertie, the stewardess, hears this in the main cabin of the plane. She dashes towards the cockpit to tell Kurtski to shut up. On the way, she trips and nearly falls over, next to a little old lady.

"Don't be in such a hurry, dearie," says the little old lady. "Let him finish his coffee at least."

Paddy is feeling sad as he orders his tenth beer at the Loony Licker Pub.

"What's wrong, Paddy?" asks Igor, the bartender.

"I lost my dog," sobs Paddy.

"Why don't you put an advertisement in the newspaper?" suggests Igor.

"It is no good," moans Paddy. "My dog can't read."

Old lady Gilda runs the town drugstore with her sister, Maggie. One day, a large stranger comes to town and is feeling very horny. But the town is very quiet, and he cannot find anyone to help him relieve his hormonal harassment. So he decides to go to the pharmacy to get something to take for it. When he walks in he sees old lady Gilda at the counter.

"Excuse me," says the stranger, slightly embarrassed, "but I would like to see the boss."

"Well," says Gilda, "I am the boss."

"Oh," stammers the stranger, "then I would like to see a man clerk."

"Sorry," says Gilda casually, "we ain't got no man clerk. But you can tell me what you want, I won't be embarrassed."

"Okay," says the stranger. "I have got an awful erection. What can you give me for it?"

"Just a minute," says Gilda, and she goes back inside the store.

Five minutes later she returns.

"I have just been talking with my sister, Maggie, who makes up the prescriptions," says Gilda, smiling, "and we decided the best we can give you is the whole store and two hundred dollars."

You get it?

No, even Sardar Gurudayal Singh is silent. Late in the night think of it again. Then you will know what the sense of humor is.

It is training time at Camp Killjoy and the American General, Lard Peckerhead, is hosting a training camp for a group of Russian and Polack soldiers.

General Popov, the Russian officer, and Field Marshal Dogski, the Polack, are discussing courage with General Peckerhead.

"Let me demonstrate real courage," barks the Russian officer. "Climb up that telephone pole," he commands one of his men, "and jump straight down." The soldier obeys immediately, and is carried away by the medical team.

Not to be out-done, the American general yells, "I'll show you courage! Climb that telephone pole and jump down backwards," he screams at his soldier. The man does and is also carried away, broken and battered, by the medical team.

"That's nothing," says Field Marshal Dogski, the Polack. "Watch this. Hey, Klopski! Climb that telephone pole, jump off, do a double-flip, and land on your head."

The soldier looks at the general, then yells back, "Fuck you, you stupid bastard!"

"You see, gentlemen?" replies Dogski, proudly. "Now, that is courage!"

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

(Gibberish)

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Be silent. Close your eyes.

Feel the body to be completely frozen.

Look inwards... to the very roots of your being.

Deeper... and deeper,

as if you are digging a hole in the earth.

To reach to the roots is to discover the buddha within you, the eternal principal of life. A little more... a little more...

Sometimes one returns from only one step away -- if he had taken one step more, he would have found the roots. So until you find the roots go on digging -- they are there.

One thing is absolutely certain, that you have roots in existence. It is only a question of digging deep enough to find them. And you are prepared to reach to the roots and to reach the universal nourishment which is our eternal life.

Only once you have experienced this can you say, aham brahmasmi, I am the divine.

Before this experience you are just an emptiness.

With this experience life becomes a fulfillment,

a great benediction.

Now, Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Relax... let go, just be a watcher.

The body is lying there, the mind is lying there...

You are not the mind, you are not the body,

you are just the watcher.

This watcher is another name for your roots. This watcher is the original man, the buddha. Let it sink into every fiber of your being, drink it deeply. It is the greatest moment in life -- to drink the divine.

What a beautiful evening... so many drunkards, and such a great silence... and the rain drops creating a song of their own, the coolness of the wind making your experience richer.

In this moment you are all one consciousness. It is no more a crowd of people,

it is just one consciousness,

one divine being pervading all of you.

It is just an atmosphere,

an ocean in which you all have drowned.

Nivedano...

(Drumbeat)

Come back... but come back as a buddha.

Come back slowly, peacefully, gracefully,

collecting the experience...

You have to carry this experience in your day-to-day life. Sit down for a few moments, remembering that you are a buddha. It is no more parrot talk, it is your experience -- you have been to the ocean yourself.

With deep authority sit down as a buddha.

Slowly slowly it becomes

your normal, natural heartbeat.

The rains have come to rejoice with you,

and to celebrate with you.

Okay, Maneesha?

Yes, Beloved Master.

Can we celebrate the ten thousand buddhas?

Yes, Beloved Master.

 

Next: Chapter 5: The gateway of the buddhas

 

Energy Enhancement                Enlightened Texts                Zen                 The Language of Existence

 

 

Chapters

 

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      Talks on Zen, The Language of Existence Chapter 4: Beyond life-and-death, Question 1, I AM SERIOUSLY CONCERNED: LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU WERE SPEAKING OF THE SENSES, AS TRADITIONALLY CLASSIFIED, YOU DID NOT MENTION THE EIGHTH SENSE, THE SENSE OF HUMOR. WHAT HAPPENED? at energyenhancement.org

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    • Talks on Zen, The Language of Existence Chapter 8: Please, settle for no-self
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    • Talks on Zen, The Language of Existence Chapter 8: Please, settle for no-self, Question 1
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  • Talks on Zen, The Language of Existence Chapter 9: Lovers of tao
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