THE TANTRA VISION, VOL. 1
Chapter 10: Hingle de jibity dangely ji, Question 5
The fifth question:
BEFORE I MET YOU, I WAS MISERABLE AND TOTALLY UNAWARE. NOW, I AM MISERABLE WITH SOME DEGREE OF AWARENESS. WHAT'S NEW?
CAN'T YOU SEE IT?'THAT SOME DEGREE OF AWARENESS'-do you think it is valueless? That is the first ray... and the sun is not far away. If you catch hold of the ray, if you move in the direction the ray is coming from, you will reach to the very source of light.
If even ONE ray exists in darkness, it is enough proof of light, of God. Don't call it'some degree of awareness'.
But I understand. We have lived unaware so long, we have lived unconsciously so long, we have lived like machines so long, that even when a little awareness comes, our old habits are so heavy, so big....
There was once a young woman joined the ATS and went for her medical. The doctor had her stripped off, and then called over his assistant. "Look at that: the biggest navel I've ever seen in all my career!"
The young doctor looked and said, "By George, girl, that's a huge navel can I take a photograph of it for the medical press?"
The girl was fed up and could not understand what all this was in aid of. "You'd have a big navel if you'd been in the Salvation Army for as many years as I have."
This only heightened the mystery. "The Salvation Army? -- what's that got to do with it?"
"I carried the banner for ten years!"
And you have been carrying the banner for millions of lives -- so the navel has become very big. The unconsciousness is all your biography; all that you know about yourself is nothing but unconsciousness. So even when a ray of light enters, first you cannot trust it. Maybe you are looking at a dream? illusion? projection? Maybe there is some trick in it! Even if you trust it, it looks so small against your great past that you cannot trust that it is going to help in any way.
But let me tell you one thing: a small candle is more powerful than ALL the darkness upon all the planets. Darkness has no power; darkness is impotent. A small candle is potential -- BECAUSE IT IS! Darkness is just an absence.
A man came to the surgery covered with blood and bruises. "What is the matter?" said the doctor.
"It's my wife -- another of her nightmares."
"Don't talk daft man! She might have kicked you, but not these injuries."
"Listen doc, she had one of her nightmares: she shouted out,'Get out, quick -- my husband is coming home!' And me being only half awake, naturally, I jumped straight out of the window."
It is a long, old habit of being unconscious. But look at that'some degree of awareness', focus yourself on it -- that is your hope. Through that small ray opens the door. Can't you see it? You ask me: "What is new?"