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WALKING IN ZEN, SITTING IN ZEN
Chapter 13: Light In The Seed
Question 1

Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Zen Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen
The first question
Question 1
  OSHO, HOW CAN I BECOME A LIGHT UNTO MYSELF?
Shraddho Yannis,
  THESE WERE THE LAST WORDS of Gautam the Buddha, his parting  message to his disciples: "Be a light unto yourself." But when he  says, "Be a light unto yourself," he does not mean become a light  unto yourself. There is a great difference between being and becoming.
  Becoming is a process, being is a discovery. The seed only  appears to become the tree, that is an appearance. The seed already had the  tree within itself, it was its very being. The seed does not become the  flowers. The flowers were there unmanifest, now they are manifest. It is not a  question of becoming, otherwise a pebble could become a flower. But that  doesn't happen. A rock cannot become a rose; that doesn't happen because the  rock has no potential for being a rose. The seed simply discovers itself  through dying into the soil: dropping its outer shell, it becomes revealed in  its inner reality.
  Man is a light in the seed. You are already Buddhas. It is  not that you have to become Buddhas, it is not a question of learning, of  achieving, it is only a question of recognition -- it is a question of going  within yourself and seeing what is there. It is self-discovery.
  Yannis, you are not to become a light unto yourself, it is  already the case. But you don't go in, your whole journey is outward. We are  being brought up in such a way that we all become extroverts. Our eyes become  focused on the outside, we are always seeking and searching for some goal  "there," far away. The farther the goal, the more challenging it  appears to the ego. The more difficult it is, the more attractive it appears.  The ego exists through challenges; it wants to prove itself. It is not  interested in the simple, it is not interested in the ordinary, it is not  interested in the natural, it is interested in something which is neither  natural, nor simple, nor ordinary. Its desire is for the extraordinary. And the  reality is very ordinary, it is very simple.
  The reality is not there but here, not then but now, not  outside but in the innermost sanctum of your being. You have just to close your  eyes and look in.
  In the beginning it is difficult because the eyes only know  how to look out. They have become so accustomed to looking out that when you  close them, then too they continue to look out -- they start dreaming, they  start fantasizing. Those dreams are nothing but reflections of the outside. So  it is only in appearance that you seem to be with closed eyes, your eyes are  still open to the outside world, you are not in. In fact, every meditator comes  across this strange phenomenon: that whenever you close your eyes your mind  becomes more restless, your mind becomes more insane. It starts chattering in a  crazy way: relevant, irrelevant thoughts crisscross your being. It is never so  when you are looking outside. And naturally you become tired, naturally you  think it is better to remain occupied in something, in some work, rather than  sit silently with closed eyes, because nothing seems to happen except a long  long procession of thoughts, desires, memories. And they go on coming,  unending.
  But this is only in the beginning. Just a little patience,  just a little awaiting.... If you go on looking, watching these thoughts  silently, with no judgment, with no antagonism, with no desire even to stop them  -- as if you have no concern with them -- unconcerned.... Just as one watches  the traffic on the road, or one watches the clouds in the sky, or one watches a  river flow by, you simply watch your thoughts. You are not those thoughts, you  are the watcher, remembering that "I am the watcher, not the  watched." You cannot be the watched, you cannot be the object of your own  subjectivity. You are your subjectivity, you are the witness, you are  consciousness. Remembering it.... It takes a little time, slowly slowly the old  habit dies. It dies hard but it dies, certainly. And the day the traffic stops,  suddenly you are full of light. You have always been full of light, just those  thoughts were not allowing you to see that which you are.
  When all objects have disappeared, there is nothing else to  see, you recognize yourself for the first time. You realize yourself for the  first time.
  It is not becoming, it is a discovery of being. The outer  shell of the thoughts of the mind is dropped, and you have discovered your  flowers, you have discovered your fragrance. This fragrance is freedom.
  Hence, Yannis, don't ask, "How can I become a light  unto myself?" You are already a light unto yourself, you are just not  aware of it. You have forgotten about it -- you have to discover it. And the  how of discovery is simple, very simple: a simple process of watching your  thoughts.
  To help this process you can start watching other things  too, because the process of watching is the same. What you are watching is not  significant. Watch anything and you are learning watchfulness. Listen to the  birds, it is the same. One day you will be able to listen to your own thoughts.  The birds are a little farther away, your thoughts are a little closer. In the  fall watch the dry leaves falling from the trees. Anything will do that helps  you to be watchful. Walking, watch your own walking.
  Buddha used to say to his disciples: Take each step  watchfully. He used to say: Watch your breath. And that is one of the most  significant practices for watching because the breath is there continuously  available for twenty-four hours a day wherever you are. The birds may be  singing one day, they may not be singing some other day, but breathing is  always there. Sitting, walking, Lying down, it is always there. Go on watching  the breath coming in, the breath going out.
  Not that watching the breath is the point, the point is  learning how to watch. Go to the river and watch the river. Sit in the  marketplace and watch people passing by. Watch anything, just remember that you  are a watcher. Don't become judgmental, don't be a judge. Once you start  judging you have forgotten that you are a watcher, you have become involved,  you have taken sides, you have chosen: "I am in favor of this thought and  I am against that thought." Once you choose, you become identified.  Watchfulness is the method of destroying all identification.
  Hence Gurdjieff called his process the process of  nonidentification. It is the same, his word is different.
Next: Chapter 13: Light In The Seed, Question 2
Energy Enhancement Enlightened Texts Zen Walking in Zen, Sitting in Zen
| ENERGY   
 | GAIN ENERGY  APPRENTICE 
      
      LEVEL1      | THE     ENERGY BLOCKAGE REMOVAL 
      
      PROCESS    | THE       KARMA CLEARING 
      
      PROCESS       APPRENTICE    LEVEL3   | MASTERY 
      OF  RELATIONSHIPS     TANTRA      APPRENTICE    LEVEL4   
 | 
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