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Chapter 6: Life Is An Empty Canvas

Question 6

 

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The sixth question:

Question 6
IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING MORE ORDINARY, WHAT IS HAPPENING, TO THE EGO?

Vipassana, one cannot become ordinary. No, that is not possible. One always becomes extraordinary. Even if you try to become ordinary you will become extraordinary may be "extraordinarily ordinary", but you will become extraordinary.
Becoming cannot lead you to ordinariness. Ordinariness is to drop the idea of becoming. When you stop becoming, you are ordinary. What is the idea of becoming? -- to be somebody special.
And yes, remember the cunningness and cleverness of the mind and its subtle ways of deceiving. The egoistic person can try to become humble, but that's where he misses the whole point. You cannot try to become humble. If you try, your humbleness will be nothing but a new camouflage for the old ego, a new painting, a new coat of paint on the old ego, a new dressing, a new decoration, a renovation -- but the old continues. It is the ego that was trying to become humble, and when you become humble the ego will feel very gratified. The ego will say, "Look Now there is nobody else who is as humble as I am. " But this is ego, this is not humbleness.
The really egoless person is not humble at all. He is neither arrogant nor humble; he is simply himself. The humble person is just the egoist standing on his head, doing a sirshasana, a head-stand, that's all. Nothing has changed. Do you think when you stand on your head, something changes? You simply look foolish, silly, that's all. You may think you are doing something great -- yoga, et cetera -- all that happens is that you look silly. Nothing changes in you.
One has to understand the desire to become. Why do you want to become somebody? Even if that somebody, the idea, the ideal, is that of being humble, ordinary even if the idea is that of becoming nobody -- why do you want to become somebody in the first place? Can't you be just that which you are? From where does this desire arise? Watch, analyze, diagnose the desire to become.
You are not satisfied, you are not contented; you are condemnatory towards yourself. You are not feeling that you are the way you should be. You are carrying many shoulds in your head, and those shoulds are creating the fever of becoming.
Who is ordinary? -- one who is without the fever of shoulds. And that ordinariness is nothing but godliness. Only God is ordinary, and those who are or&ry become divine. But it does not happen through becoming, it happens by dropping all desire to become.

Vipassana, you ask me, "In the process of becoming more ordinary..." It is not a process. How can you become ordinary through a process? To become ordinary simply means that you have dropped the very idea of becoming anybody -- the idea of being ordinary also included in it. You have dropped the very process, you have simply accepted the way you are: tathata, suchness. You start enjoying the way you are, the person you are. Whosoever you are, you start enjoying it, you are utterly contented with it.
This is ordinariness. This is not a process; this is a sudden revelation that "I have been chasing shadows, and because I have been chasing shadows I was suffering. I was missing the present moment, the herenow which contains all. And because I was chasing shadows, it was not possible to attain them, so there was frustration again and again and again."
Becoming means you are interested in the future, not in the present. Being is in the present, becoming needs the future. Becoming is always tomorrow: tomorrow you will be ordinary, and then you will enjoy bliss, consciousness, love -- but tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes, it is always today.
Be like trees, be like animals, be like birds.
Somebody asked Jesus, "What is the secret of entering into your kingdom of God?" and he said, "Ask the lilies or the fish or the flowers. Ask!" What is the secret of a lily flower? What is the beauty of the poor lily? What is the richness of the poor lily? The richness is that it is always here and now, it knows only the present time. It knows nothing of the past and nothing of the future.
Remember, if you are interested in the future you will always remain attached to the past. Why? Because if you want to become somebody, from where will you get the knowledge to become? The knowledge will be supplied by the past, by the memory, by the skill that you have learned, by all the experiences that you have passed through. The knowledge will be supplied by the past, the know-how will be supplied by the past. If you are interested in the future, then you will remain half in the past and half in the future -- and this is the division that keeps you schizophrenic. If you are just herenow, the past is not needed.
See it. Think of it. Just this moment, see it. If you are interested just in this moment, no past is needed, no skill is needed, no memory is needed, no knowledge is needed. And if you are just herenow, where is becoming? You are a being.
To be is to be ordinary. To become is to be ill, to become is to be diseased, to become is to remain insane, split, schizophrenic.
But the ego is very subtle. You rush after money, you become frustrated; one day you say, "It is nonsense, only frustration comes. Now I don't want to become extraordinary; I have tried enough. Now I will try to become ordinary. " But trying continues -- the ego has deceived you.

A vain lion wanted to find out why the other animals were not as beautiful as he. First he asked a giraffe. The giraffe did not know. Next, the lion asked a bear. The bear had no answer. Then the lion asked a hippopotamus, and again got no answer.
Finally, the lion met a mouse. He asked the mouse, "Tell me, why aren't you as big, as strong, and as beautiful as I am?"
The mouse looked up at the lion and said, "Well, I have been sick."

The ego is very subtle: it finds explanations, rationalizations. It can't allow you to see the truth. Even the mouse says, "Well, I have been sick." Even the mouse cannot accept that he is just an ordinary mouse. No, not possible.
Watch the ways of the ego. It comes always from new dimensions. If you close one door, it comes from another door. If the front door is closed, it comes from the back door.
The man who really wants to know the truth will watch, will witness all the possible ways of the ego. Watching the possible ways of the ego again and again, a great understanding arises. One day suddenly you have seen all the games of the ego. In that very seeing, becoming is dropped.
Becoming is the shadow of the ego. Becoming is the methodology of the ego. Then you don't want to become a saint, then you don't want to become ordinary, then you don't want to become humble, then you don't want to become pure, then you don't want to become anything. You don' t even want to become God; there is nothing you want to become. Becoming simply evaporates. And in that evaporation you are left alone, beautifully alone, totally alone, with no mind.

Mind is not needed at all for the being; it is needed only for becoming. It supplies methods, know-how, technology -- it is not needed, it is irrelevant. Then it falls silent. In that silence you are ordinary. But it is not the end result of becoming. On the contrary, it is the disappearance of becoming.

 

 

Next: Chapter 6: Life Is An Empty Canvas, Question 7

 


Energy Enhancement             Enlightened Texts             Sufism              The secret

 

 

Chapter 6:

 

 

 

ENERGY

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